I know it sounds bad,but this guy is perfect in my eyes. They say love is blind and this guy blinds me. He says "be prepared cause I'm going to break your heart someday". Yet in the next breath he'll call me his girl, We've been seeing eachother for almost 5 monthsand in the beginning he said we'd be friends with benefits and since I had a crush on this guy for months before this I was willing to be anything as long as I could be close to him. Time went on and I am starting to fall for him. When I bring anything up about us and our relationship all as he says is "we're friends with benefits." Sometimes I think I should be the first to end things yet I'm afraid I would regret it cause I do have stronng feelings for him. Another part of me says hold on to him for as long as you can and maybe his feelings will change. What would you do in this situation?
2006-09-30 20:17:09 · 22 answers · asked by kd 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
his feelings for u are never gonna change until he realizes ur value and he is neve gonna realize ur value until he loses you.... so dear speak to him bout ur relationship again and if he replies the same way jus tell him to F**k O*F and u move on. c if he comes back... if he does u know he has changed if not jus forget him, he can never keep u happy - he is soon gonna leave u once he gets all he wanted frm u
2006-09-30 20:22:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is a typical man. I think the best thing to do, is to be a little bit more like him. I'd just gradually start making yourself a little more unavailable to him. Don't answer all his calls or messages. Say you were busy. He needs to know that you aren't just sitting around pining for him. I know it's hard, but in the long run, it has a lot of potential to bring him around. I'd tell him that the friends with benefits is a great idea, but when you find that special someone, it has to be over. I'd say that you are on a mission to find that person. Just act like you're dating other guys. Even if you aren't. Make that jealous spark come out. If he doesn't get the least bit jealous and things don't work, then you know for sure that he really doesn't care about you and you can decide what to do then.
2006-10-01 03:24:26 · answer #2 · answered by t.larae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh, the whole "he'll grow to love me thing. Let me just say that sometimes, even when it hurts, we need to listen to our head not our heart. You already know what you should do, or you wouldn't be asking the question here. And you already know what you're going to do as well. The whole idea of putting the question out there is to get some validation on what you have already decided, so then you can say well at least "she" gets me. I will say, it hurts a whole lot less the newer the relationship is to let go. The longer you wait, the bigger the hurt. Other than that, you're on your own, we cannot tell you what to do, in the end, you are the one who has to live with your decision. I just hope that for your own mental well being, you choose what's best for you !! Good Luck !!
2006-10-01 03:24:54 · answer #3 · answered by Michele A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im going to give you a honest answer!leave him now--and i say this is because you say you have strong feelings at 5 months so say he breaks your heart when your together with him for a year then your feelings will be stronger and it will be harder for you to move on so dont make it worse for yourself---having a broken heart hurts as alot of us know this--he says your friends with benefits he didnt say yyou was his girlfriend so your not the only 1 hes talking to unfortunatly----trust me you cant change anyone he will be the same in the long run------example its just like a cheater most of the time they cheat again! I think your afraid to be alone again and your settling for less because you have not found better-dont settle the right one is out here when its the right time! besides if you think this is a perfect guy-a guy that uses you--- you dont know what a good man is! !good luck!
2006-10-01 03:32:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you continue with this, you will eventually become resentful. And it's a terrible feeling to be resentful yet still trying to hold on to something that's never gonna be right. You should end it before he gets the chance to hurt you anymore. If his feelings for you are going to change, they will change regardless of whether y'all are still "friends with benefits" or not. If he truly wants ya', he'll come back to you. And plus...you don't want to end up getting pregnant by him and HAVE to be tied to him in some way. Then you may really have regrets! Just leave him alone now and do it on your own terms. One day you may look back and be glad that you did.
2006-10-01 03:36:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to break it to you,the mistake was the benifits,where is yiur self respect,you deserve better than this,you are not a doormate with key to benifits under you .
All women deserve the happiness of a true and loving relationship,
young ladies areforgetting to form a relationship other than sexual,you go have sex way to early in relationships,I have quite a few lady friends,and if they turned sexual it would be wrong,and I would rather have a gppd friend than a one night stand
2006-10-01 03:26:00 · answer #6 · answered by cocheeise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i kow you are confused hon please take a step back and sat to your self has he given you anything in return well its sounds like that all he wants see it takes two to make a realtionship word and if you are the one that is trying you get upset and sad so please just take a break for him for a while no dont believe it lets say he finally sat letd get married so you do your fist fight he will tell that he only married you to keep you fromhonding you and that would be worse you are far better finding out know befor its to late,i have been ther i hung on to also i kepting tealing me he well change he called me up one night and said i have founf some i love so we cant be friends with benifit.i was huirt because he did it this way
so hang on to your self hon it well be easier to loose him now that later
2006-10-01 03:29:09 · answer #7 · answered by roscoe2penny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I knew I was being used, I wouldn't be with him. He may look perfect in your eyes right now, but that's because that's all you know right now. You'll see that one day, love is not going to be blind, and someone is going to love you the way that you deserved to be loved! Dump him! You deserve better! Best of luck.
2006-10-01 03:20:41 · answer #8 · answered by marypaz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from my experience, i would say you're only "in love" with him because he's not in love with you. i mean, you want what you can't have, right? i was once in love with a guy, or so i thought i was. i had all the same feelings for him as you have for your guy, but he only wanted me for sex as well. i eventually got over it because i knew he only wanted me for sex. if you want to have strong feelings for him, you can. but ask him if anything will ever happen. and if he says "maybe" then continue if you want. however, if he just says that you're friends with benefits, i think you should end it. it'll be hard to get over him cus it took me a good year to get over my guy, but you'll find someone better. he sounds like the type of guy who only wants you for his physical needs, so you should probably just end it. unless you like being played like that, i would turn the situation around on him and make him feel what he's doing to you. try playing hard to get and see what happens. if he follows, he might like you. if he doesn't, then he probably never liked you and only wanted you for the benefits. i hope this helps you. =]
2006-10-01 03:31:28 · answer #9 · answered by confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out but not for the obvious reasons. It is not wrong to be used if you WANT to be used. There are some very healthy relationships possible where one party simply wants to please the other. And that's what he wants. He wants to use you, to have "benefits" and use you whenever he pleases.
But your desire is NOT to please him totally. You want a more normal give-and-take relationship where you don't feel used and there's more of an even commitment. He will not change, you cannot change.
Time to give it up and leave.
2006-10-01 03:22:32 · answer #10 · answered by RangerEsq 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋