How do I build self-confidence with girls?

Question

I'm a freshman in college and I've never had a relationship with a girl. I ALWAYS get shot down and, man, that just does things to a guy's confidence, ya know? I just need some tips to help me be able to 'work it' with the ladies. And physical stuff isn't what I'm really looking for. Just a relationship and how to start one. Help?

Answer 1

Self-confidence comes from overcoming tough obstacles. It's also known as personal growth. If you're a freshman in college than you're probably 18-19 years old. Trust me, at that young of age you don't necessarily need a relationship. If you "always get shot down" then that simply means you don't have tight game yet. That's OK. I didn't have tight game until my mid-20s.

First off, don't focus on getting a relationship just yet because you sound really needy and needy men is NOT attractive to women.

Secondly, who are you kidding? You're NOT looking for anything physical? What about cuddling? What about kissing and having a girl to hold hands with? C'mon, you're not fooling anyone here.

Another issue you have is your perception of reality. Just because you get shot down DOES NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU AS A PERSON.

Ok, there I've said it. If you are always getting shot down then that tells me you do NOT know how to open, approach, and have natural conversations with girls that will BUILD attraction. It's time to spend the next 6 to 12 months focusing on learning how to build your game so that you can go on at least 10 to 20 dates BEFORE you even think about having a girlfriend or a relationship of ANY kind. If you let women know that NOT just any girl can be your g/f then that actually makes you more attractive.

It's time to decide to tighten up your game and start learning these valuable social skills that are not taught at home or at school.

You build self-confidence with girls by:

1) Approaching no LESS than 25 girls that you don't know per week. Go to a different city if you have to.

2) Getting educated and learning from different pick up artists and dating coaches about social dynamics, what causes attraction, and how to become a SDM (Strong, Dominant Male, which means you are strong and dominant over yourself, your life, and every situation, NOT her).

3) Creating a Dating Funnel. Most men focus on one girl. Well, what happens if the date doesn't go well? What if she's NOT interested? You cannot convince or reason a girl to like you, it just doesn't work that way. This is why you should be flirting, talking to, and dating more than one girl. This way if one is not interested or it doesn't work out then guess what? You have another one to go to.

At your age it's pretty ok to do this.

Rod

Answer 2

Force yourself to talk to women, start viewing yourself as the "catch". Go talk to girls in clothing stores to start there are plenty and they're usually attractive. Feeling confident is about being happy, happy about yourself. Contentment that you are worth it. If you send the signal that you are needy and insecure you won't inspire any attraction. 1. don't get jealous, confident men aren't jealous of anything 2. be calm, cool. lay back a bit and stop worrying. 3. start walking, talking, and moving a little slower. It conveys a more confident attitude when you make slow movements with women. 4. Change your posture, shoulders back, arms at your side, a decisive looking strut, head UP! 5. Use eye contact when talking with girls (it is actually significantly linked to an emotional connection if you can maintain strong eye contact ) Don't try this with men, staring is actually threatening. 6. Speak in smaller, more meaningful sentences. A confident guy doesn't ramble on and on about meaningless things. 7. Take a stand. If something you think goes against the majority's thinking (ex: they're picking on somebody) stand up for what you feel. You will look confident and they will develop more respect for you as a person if you sometimes go against the majority. 8. If you're in a relationship with a women, being more laid back and not calling unless she does can help you cause in looking more confident. 9. Remember to stay busy with your own life, get your career set up, start a new job, think about your education and feel more confident about that area of you life. It will often help you become more confident in other areas. 10. Don't put pressure on yourself, have fun with women. Once you understand them and all their doublespeak you will feel so confident that you could have a relationship with absolutely any woman you want.

Answer 3

I think 'Work It' with the ladies could be your first problem.
By college most females know when a male is trying to play them.
I'm going to take a wild guess that you always went for the pretty girls, that made you shake in your shoes and get tongue tied.
Which resulted you getting shot down very fast.

Eye contact is important. If you can't look the girl in the eye and speak then your going to continue getting shot down.
Another thing is a gal knows when someone is watching her. When she looks at you don't jerk your head away. Smile at her. If she is interested she will come to you.
If your walking past a gal smile and say 'hello how are you?' She will continue walking but unless she is a witch she is going to answer your question.
check the link out below, it's just a summary of his book, but if you can check the book out of the library it would help you in more ways then just with the gals.

Answer 4

Well, first of all, alcohol helps. I dont mean that you should get trashed and then go out talking to girls. But, a drink or two will help loosen your nerves. Keep any conversations light and dont have an aura of "I'm trying to get laid tonite"...girls pick up on that and shut you down real quick. Talk to them as if you're happy that they are there, but you're not going to sweat it if they leave. Smile alot and laugh. Most girls will end up with a guy who makes them laugh as opposed to a guy that's just good looking.
Try not to keep a scorecard...for example, dont say "I've talked to 4 girls and 4 girls have turned me down" that'll ruin any confidence you had at the beginning of the night.
And lastly, try exercising or maybe lifting weights. You'll feel your confidence busting at the seams once you've been exercising for a couple of weeks...and girls WILL pick up on this.

If all else fails, buy a Porsche and get a trophy chick.

Answer 5

Do you usually try to build up a friendship first? I don't know if this applies to your situation, but some girls may be put off if you try to move too quickly to start a 'relationship'. I've had some guys who told me they liked me, but I barely even knew them! That just freaked me out, and it made me think they weren't serious because they couldn't possibly have known me well enough to know that they seriously like me. Not to mention, I didn't know them well enough that I would want to be in a relationship with them either. Take it slow, build up friendships with girls first. Then...see where things go and maybe you'll get lucky.

Answer 6

Get involved in extra curricular activities that involve men and women like a club or something.

Fake it till you make it...
isn't that great? Think of a man who you think is confident....okay you got it...now...walk up to a girl and just pretend (in YOUR mind) that you are him...
What would he say?
How would he stand?
What is his body language like?

You can do this! There is someone out there waiting for you! Go find her!!!!!!!

Best of luck babe :)

Answer 7

Just go up there and talk to them, become friends with 1 or 2 and from there on. Don't be shy or suck up. Just be yourself and someone will truly like you for who you are. Oh and don't go up to a girl and show them that you are looking for a relationship, make it look like a friendship and eventually she will fall for you.

Answer 8

Carry a pack of condoms, a set of edible underwear, Axe body spray, Double Bubble gum and a thousand dollars around with you.

Answer 9

Why not start with the girls you don't find "threatening" to your confidence. Who knows, they could just turn out to be one of your best allies.

Answer 10

Stop worrying about your self-confidence. That, in itself, will hurt your confidence. Just go with the flow.