Kelly limps into his favorite pub...
My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.
"I got in a tiff with RILEY", whispered Kelly to the beertender.
"Riley? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said surprised.
"He must have had something in his hand."
"Yeah” Kelly said. "A shovel it was."
"Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?"
"Aye, I had - MRS. RILEY'S right breast." Kelly said.
"And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight!"
*********
A man walks into the bar and orders 2 shots of whiskey and the man drinks one and pours the other shot in his hand, the man did this 3 times before the bartender finally asks him ----why is it you drink 1 shot and pour the other in your hand.
The man replies, I'm getting my girl friend drunk!
2006-09-30 19:32:06 · 17 answers · asked by Pd 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Those are funny.
10
2006-09-30 19:38:51 · answer #1 · answered by Ruthie1959 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 for no 1
2006-09-30 22:31:28 · answer #2 · answered by Robert 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol...funny. nine out of eleven. How's this?
A man's boat capsizes in the middle of the ocean.
He washes up on a deserted island with nothing
but the clothes on his back. He builds a small
shelter and finds food and water, but he misses
civilization more with each passing day.
While walking on the beach one day, he sees a
beautiful woman emerge from the ocean wearing a
scuba tank and a wetsuit. She says, "You look
like you could use a smoke." She unzips a pocket
on one arm of her wetsuit, pulls a Cuban cigar from
inside, and hands it to the man. The man smokes
slowly, and tells her that it is the finest cigar that
he has ever smoked.
"How about a drink?" the woman asks. She unzips
another pocket, reaches in, and pulls out a small
flask. "It's a 17-year-old, single malt scotch, aged
in oak," the woman tells him. The man is almost
beside himself with joy as he sips the drink.
The woman then begins unzipping the front of her
wetsuit. "Want to play around?" she asks.
"Damnnn!" the man says. "You have a set of golf
clubs in there too?"
2006-09-30 19:43:32 · answer #3 · answered by miracleMB 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1-10 I give them an 8
2006-09-30 20:51:54 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you imagine if Kelly had both his hands on her breasts, and his legs between hers, he would just be a torso of a man!
2006-09-30 20:17:58 · answer #5 · answered by GoingNoWhereFast 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 rated
2006-09-30 19:35:15 · answer #6 · answered by unluckyinluv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both very funny, 8/10 for each
2006-09-30 21:23:03 · answer #7 · answered by JaB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 111111/2
2006-09-30 19:49:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Xcellent..Me friend is a bartender, and he'll here this tomorrow!!
a hearty laugh for us 4sure Pour me another!
2006-09-30 19:53:26 · answer #9 · answered by John L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's not humorous or what surpassed off whilst he referred to as me into his workplace! He cleared his table with one swipe and layed me on genuine. Lifted my gown up, popped out my already irrect nipples and he jabbed me along with his great not common c*ck and sucked so not common on my nipple i assumed it would pop off. do not situation approximately his spouse, she have been given on her palms and knees and wiped sparkling me out! in case you realize what I mean! So now you realize what surpassed off in that room. yet hiya in time each and everything gets previous, soI am searching for a clean boss... any takers?
2016-10-15 09:45:21 · answer #10 · answered by durrett 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋