why do addicts?

Question

Why do addicts push away and hurt the people that love them the most? How long does it take for them to hit rock bottom? Can they change? Will they feel bad for hurting us and will they regret what they have done and try and make it better?

Is it wrong to hope an addict hits rock bottom. i.e. DUI drug charges etc.?

Answer 1

first question: the subject of their addicition comes first in their life, they see people that love them as standing in their way.
2. It takes an extremely unfortunate situation for them to hit rock bottom, for example losing a loved one or jail.
3. Yes they can change, but statistically the chances are slim.
4. This depends on the severity of damage, their will to change, but with most recoveries, guilt is a driving force and yes they will regret what they have done and will be a motivating factor in their recovery.

It sounds like you have experienced this personally, and I wish you the best of luck getting through this. Remember that addictions will cause people to make bad choices, and that they are consumed by this addiction. Deep down I don't believe they mean to hurt those around them, but their addictions and compulsions take priority over everything, including self preservation.

Answer 2

1. An addict tends to push away the people that are closest to them, to make space for the most important thing in their life; the substance.

2. Rock bottom is not an absolute; it varies from person to person. For some, losing their spouse is enough whilst for others living on the street is not enough.

3. People can change, however they can only be changed by themselves. They do all the work. An addict cannot change to please someone else. All that someone can do for an addict is to provide them with realistic options and alternatives to their current behaviours. Professional advice often involves minimising the harm that the substance is causing to the addicts body and mind.

4. Most addicts feel terribly guilty for their behaviour towards others, especially their loved ones. Sometimes, this shame and guilt drives them further into the addiction. When an addict becomes clean, they often feel the need to make amends with people they feel they have mistreated.

Answer 3

They do this because they get tunnel vision for their addiction. When they are on drugs, nothing else really matters at all. It can take a while before they hit rock bottom. My brother is 26, been a heroin addict since age 20, and has kind of hit rock bottom. I don't know if they can change though. My brother has said so many times that he's going to change, and he never did. Not even having a kid changed things.

They will probably regret things when they aren't on drugs. But drugs also fry their brains, and consequences for their actions aren't always clear. The only thing you can do is hope that they strong and don't get back on drugs, and just support them.

Answer 4

Why do addicts push away and hurt the people that love them the most? Could be many reasons; they are embarrassed to be around them. Guilt. Or family may be the trigger.
Can they change? Yes.
Will they feel bad for hurting us and will they regret what they have done and try and make it better? If they stay on the road to recovery they may very likely. They don't need a 12 step program for that. When people are sober long enough, eventually they will want approach the people they want in their lives and communicate or make amends if you will.

Answer 5

Addicts find life painful. That's why they use. Inflicting pain on their loved ones and pushing them away is the result of the addict not wanting to be stopped and not wanting to face reality. If they face the pain they're causing their loved ones, they'd have to quit the addictive behavior. By denying and running away they don't have to face how much pain their actions cause others.
They can change, but only if they're willing. Nothing a loved one can say or do can make them change. It has to come from within. They will regret the pain they've caused their loved ones everyday...even when they're sober. Most important thing is to know its not your fault. No amount of love can make someone stop using, they have to want to.

Answer 6

Some addicts get better and change. Others don't. One thing's for sure, NOTHING you do will change THEIR behavior. All you can do is change your own which means no matter how much you love someone who's an addict you have to stop allowing their actions to hurt you and interfere in your life. They have to arrive at a place where they decide they want to change. Until then focus on yourself. Go to Al-Anon. It's not just for friends/family of alchoholics but drug addicts too.

Good luck.

Answer 7

well, for once i have a positive answer t this question. my sister has been an addict for about 7 years. she lost all 3 of her kids and was in and out of jail and rehab. i had lost all hope. now she is a very different person. she has one of her children back and regular visitation with the other 2. she has a job and is actually attending a university and studying business. she has her own house and pays her bills and everything. what did it?....honestly i have NO idea. i guess they will come around in their own time...she pushed me away for years and she did some really horrible things but she is doing her best to make up for them now. good luck! email me if you need a friend.

Answer 8

i agree with kivera...one thing you might wanna do is look for gruops with family members goin through the same thing

Answer 9

because they are easy prey.....they can use them without having to explain themselves.....i would shut this person out until they are ready to clean themselves up