Is it acceptable to spank a child in extreme circumstances?

Question

My friends daughter just turned five and when I was hanging out with her, she told her daughter she couldn't have desert unless she finished her dinner. Her daughter threw her plate on the ground flipped off her mother and told her to F*** off. My friend spanked her, which makes me feel like I should go but she said to stay, and I guess I find that reasonable. What do you think?

Answer 1

I think that the little girl is not being spanked enough because she's acting like that...and I don't think there is any other way of fixing her attitude but through some kind of punishment. By punishing and grounding them they will learn some manners and respect.

Answer 2

At 5 years old, she flip the plate on the ground and told the mother f*** off? I guess the mother and daughter are not in good terms?

Women and their daughters usually grows up to be best friends depending on how open minded their mothers can be and how understanding the daughters grow up to be.

I think your friend should spend more time talking to the daughter, teaching her table manners with much patience. Spanking her on the butt at 5 years old is OK but nothing like canning or etc.

I am a firm believer in violence makes things worst so its better to be diplomatic, talk it out first. However, that depends on genes the daughter carries - if she is the stubborn, naughter, will-never-learn type - then I guess sometimes it cant be helped but always take the non-violent way, please.

Answer 3

It would seem that even the act and threat of spanking in that household has disproved the idea that such can work as a type of discipline. See, if the spanking was working, the child would have never tried those actions in the first place. It's a self-defeating argument.

Sadly, the need for spanking is not a child need at all, but a complete awareness that the parenting arsenal is missing something. When a parent spanks, they are only showing the world they've nothing else in their human skillset to treat a given dilemma. While not surprising in a world where mainstream parents are expected to keep kids off of drugs, out of gangs, away from alcohol and cigarettes, well adjusted to the ever shrinking planet, and basically moving forward, the truth is that spanking is a vile shortcut that ignores a caregiver's responsibilities in rearing. If you can make the point with your hand, you should instead be able to make the point with your mind, specifically with your words. If you can't make the point with you mind, things should never go to the hand in the first place. All else is you portraying your own idiocy.

Answer 4

Of course it is acceptable. Children do not have the ability to grasp the reasoning behind why an act or behavior is wrong. Sometimes the main point that you need to drive home is that they never do something like that again. A child doesn't always need to understand a situation, sometimes they just need to be scared enough to not do it again. Case and point: From watching us use our gas stove our then 6 year old figured out how to turn on the gas burners. Sometimes he would get the burner lit and others he would just turn the gas on. I tanned his backside pretty good and because of the danger of the situation at hand I did not care wether he understood why it was dangerous or if he was just scared of getting spanked again. Either way it solved the problem.

Answer 5

My husband and I are having this debate with our two year old. I am not a believer in spanking, my parents spanked me and it didn't hurt me in the long term, however, I think that it could hurt a child self esteem especially if done in public. I only smack her hands if she is doing something dangerous. That is to scare her from doing something that could be harmful to her. For example, she played with the night lite one day, so I smacked her hand and told her "danger" and she has never touched it since. We have a chair that we call the naughty chair and if after 3 warnings she still misbehaves thats where she goes. By the way you described the childs language though, it sounds like the naughty chair wouldn't work for her. Thats one thing I am finding out , children like to see how far they can push. I stick to the punshiment that is handed out, If I say no dessert, then I mean no dessert, actions have consequences and as parents we are responsible for teaching that to our children. Good luck to your friend. It sounds like she may have some work ahead of her.

Answer 6

I was spanked as a kid, and I am all for it now. I grew up just fine and it also taught me, as a child, to respect and listen to my mother. There is a fine line though between spanking and physical abuse. A smack on the ***, open hand, and then sending to their room is fine. A smack across the face or belt across the ***...over the top. Your friend needs to reevaluate the situation. Where would a five year old child learn this kind of behavior? Obviously it starts at home.

Answer 7

i dont know what others are going to tell you but yes that is too far off to not spank the child.
they threw a tantrum..fine send them to the room/timeout but the whole flipping one off and cursing is a whole nother matter!
that shouldnt be let off with a "go to your room!"
i applaud your friend and am glad that you found taht as a reasonable punishment as well.
too many parents just let thier kids get away with these kind of things and look how they turn out?
tell your friend that i think what she did was the right thing!!!
there is a big difference in spanking and BEATING a child.
just enough to get the point across is all that is needed.

Answer 8

There's a BIG difference between spanking & beating. Spanking is not abuse.
All these better-than-you people who say you should NEVER spank a child are the ones who will have out of control kids one day that they will be visiting in jail.
What are you suppose to do when a child tells you NO they are not going to do something, they are not going to clean their room, they are going to go out with their friends..... whether you like it or not? You can TELL a child all day long to do something or not to do something, but unless you show them from a very early age that there will be consequences if they don't mind you they are going to be rebellious when they are older because they know they can.
Look what has become of our society since spanking became politically incorrect!

Answer 9

My personal opinion is that is what's wrong with kids today.Discipline has been taken out of homes and schools for fear of "child abuse".When we were growing up it was a whole different story. And look how children are acting today,because of this. Most of the parents out there that say OH NO!!!!!I would NEVER spank my child have the children that are out off control.There is a huge differents between correcting a child and abusing one.

Answer 10

spanking is a good for of punishment. Not hard and not with closed hands a firm but gental spank tells a child that you do not exept thier behavior. When the child get older than it can be use as a last resort such as "I have told you twice and if you do it again I will spank you." works well