I tend to change a little depending on who I am around. For example if I am around someone who speaks Ebonics I tend to speak it more. If I am around someone who has a southern accent my accent comes out. If I am around someone who speaks more proper English then I tend to speak it more. Honestly I don't do this on purpose it just comes natural. I asked a good friend of mine and she said its because I am a people pleaser. I want to appeal to the person speaking with so I will start to speak like that person. I have been all around the US and a few places outside the US and met many different people. I understand alot of people and how to appeal to them. Like I can talk the talk of the person I am speaking with. Things that don't change from person to person is my beliefs and opinions. These things never change no matter who I am speaking with, its basically how I talk, not who I am. Do you think this is wrong or not? If so how do I stop my self from doing it?
2006-09-30 18:22:52 · 7 answers · asked by Umm Ali 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I do the same thing! When I visit my sister down in Virginia, her husband talks with a western drawl and I start to talk like that.
Sometimes I'm embarrased because I think they may think I'm making fun of them, and I'm not!
I have even talked a little bit like foreigners if I'm with them a lot. In some cases leaving out small words that might confuse them.
They do say mirroring someone will make them like you more.
I often wondered this myself especially when I witnessed this. My sister in law and brother in law moved down to Tennessee. A year later we went to visit them. SHE had a complete southern drawl and her husband, not even a hint! Sounded like he was still from New York!! That amazed me. I know I would be like her, completely taking on the new accent.
2006-10-01 07:17:07 · answer #1 · answered by Genie♥Angel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's all perspective. Your friend is correct in that some people do indeed speak differently out of a subconscious effort to please. But there are many other reasons. An example is a person who suddenly adopts a New York accent and slang in an effort to sound tough or dangerous. The same can be said with ghetto slang and accents.
In my case I travel frequently and find I make a conscious effort to communicate in terms most readily understood by the person I am speaking to. It avoids miscommunication and often prevents problems that can arise from this as well. In my case it can involve slang, dialects, or even a different language entirely.
You must analyze the rationale behind your own use. I would not try to quell this talent in you, rather I would use it to communicate and understand cultures you may not normally be exposed to. You may find that even the effort of trying to communicate in their dialect, language, accent or slang will appeal to them because you are at the very least trying and not acting Superior or above-it-all.
Linguistics is a talent and you need to appreciate it for what it is and use it to learn and become better. If you use it simply to please... make a conscious effort to avoid this and only use your talents when you can gain a new friend or understanding into another way of life.
I hope this helps
2006-10-01 01:38:45 · answer #2 · answered by sunsetsrbest1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm exactly like you. Whenever I can, I speak the language of the person I'm talking to and this comes naturally. It is not like that I'm trying to do so. When I talk to my friends with different accent, I not only pick up their accent, but I also mimic their pattern of speech. I don't think there is anything wrong about this however I can see why some people may get offended and think that I'm acting or making fun of their speech patterns.
2006-10-01 01:36:03 · answer #3 · answered by smarties 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you consider your friend's imput - just check your motives - they may be unconsciously known at this point.
But I do know that people who mirror others while in a conversation gain the other person's trust almost instantly. It shows them that you're listening and interested to what they're saying. Many interviewers or therapists who want to get into someone else's head or life, will use this technique to get to more out of an interviewee/client.
So this "skill" is not always negative, just check your motives.
2006-10-01 01:31:00 · answer #4 · answered by Janis H 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why stop yourself from doing it if it hasnt got you in to trouble?! people might like it, maybe they'll feel they can understand you better if you sound like them or people from their home. like you said, its not like you're changing your beliefs for each person. I cant see what harm it would do-stick with it!
2006-10-06 20:14:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. You know how to successfully blend in with whom ever you are with.
2. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."
2006-10-01 03:20:46 · answer #6 · answered by mitch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahaha...I'm also like that!! I just can't seem to help it, but it just happens!! The way you talk around your friends is how you are!!
2006-10-01 06:55:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋