My mom has had cancer for 10 years and I fear that she is now at the end. Her spirits are not what they use to be. I want to be there for her but am so saddened by her current state. I am not ready to let gon yet.
2006-09-30 18:21:03 · 17 answers · asked by Debra K 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I know what you are going through. I can only tell what I did. I tried very hard to be positive for my mom everyday. One day, it just hit me, and I tried to leave the room so she wouldn't see my tears, the anger and frustration I felt having to watch her suffer. She reached out and pulled me back to her and we cried together. after that day, I knew I didn't have to be strong all the time for her, that it was ok for me to have fear and pain. She accepted my feelings just as I had accepted hers. Just be there with your mom, take each moment as it comes.
You will never be totally ready to let go, and you don't have too. Those we love never really leave us, we always have our memories, and the love they gave us in our hearts.
If there is a hospice in your area, contact them. Our hospice workers were a Godsend to us.
2006-09-30 19:19:39 · answer #1 · answered by Renae 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that this means that medically there's absolutely nothing that can be done, or that she won't accept any more pills that make her sicker than she felt before or anymore surgery or rays....
I know how it is. I've been there. My mother had that too...
And though I am a man and were around 30 at the time it was very difficult coping with it.
There's no recipe for that. No one can help you face that.
Try making it easier on her. Be there for her. Spend the last years or months or whatever together. Try to ease her pains. She'll also be worried about you, about leaving you alone and she also misses you.
Think about her, share beautiful things with her so that you'll have memories to cherrish and her last days on this Earth will be beautiful.
And finally, just think that this is not definitive separation, it's only temporary. Sooner or later we'll all get to where she's going.
2006-10-01 01:32:14 · answer #2 · answered by Kostagh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about talking to her and share your feelings with her. Don't you think she is scared too. Ten year is a long time for someone to live with this fear. Talking to her can help her as well and you both will have a better understanding and more memories together. Never wait for the last minute you may regret it later.
I lost a parent 3years ago and had no contact for the last 15 years. I was always waiting for the right moment and I thought I had all the time in the world. No, did not work out...
2006-10-01 01:44:18 · answer #3 · answered by bineusa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is never a good time to let a person go especially a mom. I do have a piece of advice for you. If you are not ready to let her go, she will hang on for you, but there is only so long that she can hang on. Although children usually come first, in this case her needs should probably come first. If it is difficult for her to hang on, you may need to tell her that it is okay for her to go when she is ready. You want to make her death as easy as possible for her.
If possible maybe get her fixed up one day and get out a video recorder and go over the happier times of life by looking at photo albums and momentos of your lives together so you will always have something to look at and remember her by. It would be nice to have her voice and her thoughts and feelings on camera. Even if you don't have a video camera, given the circumstances, I'm sure someone would lend you one.
You should also talk to your school counselor. That is what they are there for.
2006-10-01 01:35:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its so hard to let a loved one go especially one of your parents but as we all know dealing with cancer is a hard and painful fight , just know she will be in a much better place pain free and smiling and as long as you have her in your heart she will never be gone from your life. In her last days let her see the beautiful smile that she remembers from the day of your birth so she can rest in peace when the time comes. I'm not gonna lie, its gonna hurt like hell but be strong in time the hurt will go away have faith you will see that things will be OK.Be there for her I'm sure you always have been I will say a prayer for you and your family may your days be blessed and tomorrow always brings a new day.
2006-10-01 01:42:24 · answer #5 · answered by Daniel V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray for guidance. God is taking care of her & you too. Enjoy the time that you do have together. Go to lunch, shop for something she has always wanted, make memories. But above all else, talk to each other. Tell her you love her! Make amends for past mistakes. Forgive her of any mistakes she may have done. Ask those questions you've always wanted answers to. But don't treat her like a sick child, give her the dignity she deserves. Mothers would give anything to know that their children are happy and safe, let her know it's ok to move on.
2006-10-01 01:38:44 · answer #6 · answered by Jacquie F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your feeling about this. even though i have not had any family or friends die from cancer.
There are support groups all over the palce for stuff like this. there are some online and others in your community. these places can usually help you through these type of things.
on the net type in cancer support group and in your community look in a phone book under the same thing and you also call information to get information on the support groups.
2006-10-01 01:30:52 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a very sad case hun.
First of all let me start by saying, everyone in this world will die at one point.
I know you might be scared, heck i would be too if i was in your position. Try to be your best and keep her happy.
Don't cry for the bad things, smile for the good things that happend. Help her live the best of her last years, be with her any chance you can get, make her life easier, and remember this is a unfortune event and she can't help this, and that she loves you very much.
If this is very hard for you, imagine for her, she knows she got something that will kill her :(
Try to bring joy to her life.
I wish you both well.
2006-10-01 01:27:01 · answer #8 · answered by Jay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So very sorry, I just lost my sister in May from cancer. The best thing to do it is just be your self. and be there for her. It is a struggle to live with it, not really knowing what and when it is your last breath. But show you how much you love her and help her in any way you can.. But let her do as much as she can with out making her , feel bad. Support is what she needs, from her family , and friends.Being there for her when needed. Wishing you and her the best. Pem
2006-10-01 01:36:46 · answer #9 · answered by Patricia M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how you must feel. i will pray for you and your mother. i will put them on the prayer chain for in the morning at church.since i dont know you all i can have a unspoken request. it seems like 10 years would be enough time to prepare but its not. you will never be ready. me and my father was so close all my life. i am 39. he died this month with cancer. he had it 1yr and i just could not get ready to let him go. the day came and i was not ready. im crying right now just thinking about how you must feel about your mother.im sorry
2006-10-01 01:35:38 · answer #10 · answered by Billy T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋