Why do guys automatically think I'm a certain way just because I sell sexy toys?

Question

I am currently single, and sometimes it's hard to date guys because, 1. They are intimidated by the fact that I sell sexy toys (I do in home parties for women........ the adult toy parties), or 2. They automatically think that I'm FREAKY and they want in on the action. What's up wit that?

Answer 1

It’s called stereotyping and is a form of prejudice

Men have sex on their mind 52% of the time (from an episode of 20/20 Sept 29, 2006) so when you admit to selling sex toys they look at it with a dirty mind. These men are probably too immature to realize that you don't go to these parties and do a strip tease and then engage in an orgy on the floor. Instead that is what they ARE thinking. They are probably thinking that you are a sex freak that "get's it on" at these parties.

A more mature person will realize that what you do is just like a person who holds Tupperware parties. I realize we are talking about a more sexual topic, but you are approaching the women with the exact same goal and motives in mind. It is just a different kind of product.

What you might want to do is invite a boy friend to come with you and pose for male underwear. If he can get the courage to do it then he will see exactly what goes on at your party (sales session). If he is a part of the show, and hangs around somewhere else then he won't make your customers uneasy, but he can still listen and learn.

I know that a lot of this sales pitch is designed to gather a group of ladies together, get them to loosen up, then show them a few things, and start having them talk about sex. Mostly about what they want, and how your products can fill that need. A lot of your sales pitch is designed to put them in a comfortable mood, where they can be a little more open about what they want from a man.

When a guy looks at sex he wants to do the "in-out, slam-bang, thank, you mama." Evolution gears the male to be this way. The best survival campaign for a male is to breed as quickly and with as many women as possible. That’s why a male can get an orgasm in less than 15 minutes, and why a picture of a pretty woman is enough to get a lot of guys off. Its not that men are pigs, its that our evolution gave us a different design.

A woman needs that relationship first, so a “quickie” is seldom enough to get a woman anywhere near an orgasm. Women need to find a partner that can stay with her long enough to raise a child. It isn’t what you are thinking about, it is what your genes are telling you. This is why women need more than just the sex act. They want conversation, a relationship…they want more. Most guys don’t understand this. It also explains why women talk more than men. They have to so they can explore their relationships (same episode of 20/20 average male uses 7,000 words per day while the women use 20,000 words per day.)

I am sure that you use some dirty words and may even show your customers how to use a vibrator, after all a lot of sexual repressed women don’t even know where their G Spot is. A more mature male would have a better idea, or you can explain this to him. You are talking about sex, but you aren’t doing the deed.

Heck, even I think that what you do for a living will make you a better lover in bed. After all you know what a woman wants, how to experiment, and how to build a woman to an orgasm. I am a guy, and that’s the way we think. I do think that your boy friends are fools for being so stupid. Men can’t see sex as a business as easily as a woman can. Once a woman has children they become focused on the children and would be happy to go without sex for a few years. Men don’t want to go more than a few days without sex. To women sex is usually just an act to please the man; they don’t need sex as often as a man does, and when they get that sex, it has to me more than just a “quickie.” Women need to have a build up, and the male has to take the time to do it. Foreplay is required, as is some conversation. When a man has sex his emotions get involved, but not that heavily. If the man treats a woman like this then she practices on how to fake and orgasm. If sex doesn’t have that build up then to a woman it really isn’t sex.

Now look at it from the male perspective. A group of males with someone trying to sell them sex objects would be embarrassed and would not want talk. They would much rather look at pornographic magazines. The salesman could show a sex tape and get the guys aroused. If he served a little beer as well then he might get the guys to start talking, mostly boasting. The last thing the guys will every say is what they feel, what they think, and what they want. They may make a few stabs at it, but if they do too much then they would be accused of being women, which in the male world is a big insult.

In the future be more circumspect about how you tell your boy friend what you do. You may even start with a white lie that you are a Tupperware sales person. Something like, “Oh, I am a salesperson I run things like a Tupperware party, what do you do?” Or a similar ending, men love to talk about themselves.

Later, if the relationship moves to another level then you can break it to them what your sales product actually is. The best way would be to run a little sales demonstration with him, where the outcome is sex. Then you can say, “Wow, I never had that happen at one my parties.” This will help convey to him that you aren’t having sex sessions. If he wants to know more then you can tell him. Don’t do this right after sex, because he won’t be in the mood to hear it, but later, like at breakfast, or a private lunch. He will want this to be done in private because it will embarrass him. He will also want to know that you are not a whore or a woman with loose morals. I know you aren’t, you know you aren’t, your clients know you aren’t, but many men might think that way. Since sex is on our mind so much, then men think that it must be true with women as well. They are blind to the genetic differences.

You need a more mature man, and you need to be subtler with how you tell them what you do. You need to show the boy friend that you aren’t having sex of any sort at these parties, but he will be the lucky one because you will be a skilled sex partner. Since you have talked with dozens of women you know what turns a woman on, and you can explain that to a man. It’s easy to turn a man on. This weekend’s comic session had a woman worried about how to exercise to make her sexier. The guy said I know and exercise that can make you real sexy. Put your hand out, palm up and make a fist, then extend your pointing finger and curl it toward yourself three times say the phrase “Come here.” Like I said guys have sex on the brain most of the time. It’s how we are built. You have to explain to your boy friends that this isn’t how it happens with women.

For more information on the differences between men and women and how it affects their thinking see my answer for this question: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhrMq_Z_9YPW918ag8jmEyHsy6IX?qid=20060908130830AAz4Xnu (answer #8)

Look at the responses so far. The short ones are from men who think you are doing something dirty. The women really know what is going on. It's all in the genes.

Answer 2

Men are very sexual and it gets them into trouble. It's sad but not all men are like that. Try not telling them what you do and you'll be better off. I think it is great that you sell these things. It's great to spice up a married couples life. I think explaining that will help as well. Tell them it's about promoting happier fulfilling marriages and not promoting pornography. Tell them you help couples stay together with what you do and it helps keep them from getting bored in their relationship.

Answer 3

Men will be men, when I answer questions that have to do with Sex here on Yahoo answers, they right away IM me, saying hi, where, what, etc...so that is there nature, but you know what head...does the thinking for the guys...and this head doesn't even have a brain..it is the lower head that does the thinking lol...

Answer 4

Strange. Some of the girls where I used to work held "F___ERWARE" parties. Some of the picrures they brought in of the toys (no nothing nasty being done) were a hoot.

Answer 5

If that's the job you have chosen to earn a living at...learn to live with the way guy's think.What you are selling is replace-meant for the male organs!!!What do you expect them to think?I'm relay sorry this is happening to you,but we,the women,don't think like that.Honey...your just gonna have to learn to put up with guy's thinking.

Answer 6

The fact that you sell sex toys gives anyone the impression that you are 'open' and knowledgable about sex. Simple conclusion that you are what you may not be by simple minds.

Answer 7

Simply put, the general population believes sub-consciously that everyone loves their job and that it is a big part of their life. If you sell it they will think you enjoy that stuff.

Answer 8

when is your next party i wanna send my wife so she can get the toys lol

Answer 9

You know what they say............."the one that dies with the most toys; wins"...

I love those parties, girl!!!

Answer 10

Not sure but I like sex toys!!! haha!!!