I am 38 1/2 weeks pregnant and my mother n law has done nothing but assume she is welcomed into the delivery room. She is a kind women but really gets on my nerves. My sister and friend we have invited to be in the with us but we have NEVER invited her. In fact, we have told her no on many occasions. She is telling everyone on my husbands side that she was invited. How do i deal with this without creating a family feud? Oh and to top it off my husbands parents and i had a rough start in our relationship and are finally starting to enjoy each others company. I dont want to ruin it but i fear i will create hurt feelings by telling her no. But again I DO NOT WANT HER IN THE ROOM. Should i just allow it to avoid a problem or stand by my word in the first place? HELP!!
2006-09-30 17:52:09 · 24 answers · asked by amandamoorer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Option 1: This is your husband's problem, not yours. Give him the burden.....tell him to tell her there was a misunderstanding and BOTH him and you don't want anymore people in there.
Option 2: Have the Nurse tell everyone while she is in the room there isn't enough room in there for everyone...or, there is a policy of some sort.
Option 3: Don't tell her when it happens. Say afterwards it was an emergency birth.
I prefer option one, but it's your call of course.
CONGRATS!
2006-09-30 17:59:30 · answer #1 · answered by Robert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does not need to be in the room if you do not feel comfortable with her there. If you and your husband both agree, then he should be the one to talk to her and tell her. Though, you should welcome her to the hospital. Maybe invite her into the room during the first part of the labor when you are just having contractions and hanging out. (You could be hanging out for a while.) Then, when the actual labor/delivery is going on, she can wait in the waiting room. I bet more than anything she just wants to be there to catch a glimpse of her grandchild and just be there for the miraculous event. Regardless, of her getting on your nerves...she is the child's grandmother.
2006-10-01 01:01:56 · answer #2 · answered by stlfan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. The mother needs to be relaxed to give birth properly, and you get to say who's there. One thing you can do is don't tell anyone until after the delivery. It's generally not scheduled, right? Or only tell people who will keep it mum. Then, tell the nurses that she's not to be let in, in case she finds out and shows up. They will keep her out. They can lie to her and say you've become high risk. Just make sure that your husband is 100% with you on this, because if he's a weak link, she'll probably wind up there somehow.
2006-10-01 00:57:19 · answer #3 · answered by Singinganddancing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I just watched my wife deliver our twin girls a week ago. If you don't want to flat out tell her "no" then I have a few suggestions that don't constitute lies but instead are "lacking all the facts". With one baby (or two) there's a lot of activity and hospital staff, so a crowded room is one excuse (we used this one). Our hospital only allowed me in so there's another. Or if nothing else don't tell her until after the baby's born. But you and your husband need to be on the same page so she doesn't figure it out, whatever your decision.
2006-10-01 01:05:38 · answer #4 · answered by jonnythejedi249 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell the nurses at the hospital to tell her only 2 other ppl besides your husband are allowed in and your friend and sister were on the list first, so she will have to wait in the waiting room. Now if YOUR mother is going to be in there, then i would say let the mother inlaw in also, even though you may not like the woman alot, just remember it is your husbands mother.
2006-10-01 01:03:31 · answer #5 · answered by deborah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I thought only the father could come in the Delivery Room. However, you should let her know that as your husband's mother it would make you feel uncomfortable for her to see you like that and you should also point out that Your mother won't be in the room either.
2006-10-01 01:01:17 · answer #6 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell no! Do not give in!! If you just let her push her way in it will never stop. My husband knows where his family stands in our relationship (its a good thing he's not too close with them anyways) Giving birth is a private thing, tell her she is welcome to come and visit the next day at the hospital when you are felling better, but tell her there is a limited number of people that can be in the room...and your mom & husband get first dibs.....Stand strong, its a hard issue, but if you don't stand up for your feelings now, you will always be accomidating to suit everyone elses needs.
2006-10-01 01:00:02 · answer #7 · answered by MTE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should tell her the truth, when it comes time to delivering its going to be all about you, my niece just delivered a month ago and was in the same situation, she only wanted her mom and the father in the room with her, the mother in law was upset and had hurt feelings for a very short while, but everything was all good again after the birth, who could stay mad when a new born baby was born into the family,remember you need to be at ease and be comfortable when the time comes
2006-10-01 01:27:25 · answer #8 · answered by wherezallthelove 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand by your word. Just don't call her when you are in labor. Wait until after the baby's born or until you are home. If she asks why you didn't call her before, say that you didn't have a chance to call anyone. Also, let the hospital staff know who you do and do not want in the room. They will make sure to keep unwanted visitors out.
2006-10-02 13:10:50 · answer #9 · answered by Courtney B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is close to his mother or she's trying to be a part of your lives- invite her...I have had 4 children and during labor I barely noticed the doctors or anything else- except when my babies were finally born. In fact, I could have had a whole news crew in there and not cared until after wards: )
2006-10-01 00:59:22 · answer #10 · answered by LostInTheCrowd 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋