The gf and I are at a weird point in the relationship. We have dated for about 5 mos now and it's either got to go to the next level or end. The situation exists, as I see it b/c the closer she gets to me, the more scared she is and more closed up she gets. She keeps alluding to an ugly past but won't tell me **** about it and that frustrates me ridiculously. It's like she wants me to dig just so she can bury herself deeper. Anyways, we decided to spend this weekend alone and talk about things Monday after work (and she calls me this afternoon and we talk for about 20 minutes???). I know I am not perfect but she won't confront me about her issues with me, either. I need her to talk and talk a lot. People keep telling me to be patient, but my patience is running out. Any things I can say so she KNOWS how serious I am that I just want to know her better and I will NEVER judge her? I am frustrated enough that I am afraid of the bluntness that may come across from me.
2006-09-30 17:44:38 · 3 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I can understand your frustration. Communication is sooo important and unfortunately your gf is doing very little of that. Its difficult to say what is at the root of her reluctance to open up. She could have trust issues. She could be ashamed of her past.
She could be afraid you'll reject her. You are not a mind reader.
If she is not willing to open up to you, you are not going to have a relationship of any real depth. Everyone has their limits and it sounds like you are reaching yours. What is the worst thing that could happen if you were blunt? You need to convey to her your level of frustration and the importance of communication. If she cares for you and is committed to making the relationship work, she should make an effort to communicate in an honest and open way about issues she may be uncomfortable talking about.
2006-09-30 17:59:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you concerned the bad past may change how you feel about her? If not then let it go for now. If things progress for the two of you then she will eventually feel comfortable enough to let her skeletons out of the closet. Have you been completely open and honest with her about everything...and I do mean EVERYTHING? Probably not. Its only been five months and if you truly like this girl then give it some time. You have plenty of time to learn the ins and outs of one another. Enjoy the journey.
2006-10-01 00:49:17 · answer #2 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
explain your feeling tell her that you wont judge her and that you would love to love her but u cant tell you know the hole her all of her the good and bad
2006-10-01 00:49:21 · answer #3 · answered by C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋