I had a friend (past tense) that thought it should be perfectly acceptable for us to stay friends even though she believed that we were going to two different places when we die.
She didn't even GET why that might make me not want to be friends with her...
Anyone else been through this? How did you handle it if at all?
By the way - no I am not self conscious and wrong. I am perfectly happy with my chosen path and do not need to repent for anything.
2006-09-30 17:33:32 · 24 answers · asked by rabble rouser 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I have to add on here - this was a 6 year friendship before I found out that this was how she felt.
2006-09-30 17:39:20 · update #1
Nope.Couldn't do it.Telling me I'm going to hell is grounds for removal from my life.It's not only disrespectful, it's a form or emotional abuse.I refuse to subject myself to it.
2006-09-30 17:36:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
You know it isn't a matter of repenting, it is a matter of what you expected. If I am understanding you, she felt that she was going to heaven when she died and that you unless you repented, were going to hell. And with this in mind she thought that it was okay for you to be friends anyway. If this is right then I am amazed. Usually it is the believer that doesn't want anything to do with the non-believer. She has a good attitude, that no matter your differences, it doesn't out weight her thoughts of you as her friend. But I am confused by your reaction. Had I been you, I would have accepted that friendship. Even though she may have thought you were on the wrong path, she was willing to stand by you, she cared that much for your companionship. She did not prejudge you to be bad because of non-belief and take a look at some of the ppl on this site. That is exactly what they would do no matter how long the relationship. I think you messed up by not accepting her differences. It may not be too late, it's okay to go to her and explain what your mind said at the time.
2006-10-01 00:43:51 · answer #2 · answered by ImMappam 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Actually, a former friend of mine believed I was going to hell because of the Church I joined. She viewed my religious choice as a cult although she belonged to an old fashioned pentecostal church that doesn't believe in getting your hair cut, make-up, wearing pants, swimming in the same public pool with the opposite sex, going to the movies, etc. She quit associating with me.
If your friend really believes you are going to hell, she will probably quit associating with you and you won't even have to make the decision at all. The truth of the matter is that we aren't supposed to be deciding who is going to hell or not since we aren't God! Our job is to love our neighbor as ourselves . . .
Just wait and let it happen.
2006-10-01 00:41:28 · answer #3 · answered by whozethere 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Uuhmmm, if she was a Christian (and that's what it sounds like), I would point out that according to her own religion only God determines who is going where, that any such statement or determination she would make in this matter is blasphemously presumptive of God's judgement, and that, since this is a sin, I would not want to be around tempting her into more sin all the time.
2006-10-01 00:39:06 · answer #4 · answered by raxivar 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That has happened to me too. I ended up cutting off ties with born again Christian friends just because they would not stop trying to "save me". My brother used to be a fundie, and he and I were very very close, but when I decided to become Atheist, he preached to me every chance he got. He's become a lot more mature within the last couple of years. He became very liberal, but still religious. Our relationship mended very well.
2006-10-01 00:44:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be a strained relationship I would think. It's hard for me to grasp that someone would want to be my friend if they truly felt I was going to hell. I'm not fit for heaven, and God doesn't want me for eternity, so why would they want me around for their friend for life? It just doesn't make sense to me that they could accept the hell idea while having a friend - someone they consider a good person - who is supposedly going there.
2006-10-01 00:44:43 · answer #6 · answered by Heron By The Sea 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everyone I know thinks I'm going to hell. We've remained friends because I refuse to discuss religion with them. I simply will not. When the subject comes up I remind them that I respect their beliefs and ask that they extend the same courtesy to me. So far it's been working.
2006-10-01 00:43:37 · answer #7 · answered by . 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
as the ancient Greeks said
to thine own self be true
however, I take exception to your judgmental call ....
a different religious view/perspective is only one aspect of a person's personality, one aspect in their interaction with you
if your friend [past tense] had attributes that once lead you to consider her a friend....those "other" aspects of her person did not go away or become trivialized....
exactly what is it that you are not self conscious of or wrong about??? the losing of this friend? or the behavior/chosen path that you are not repenting over???
if you valued her friendship. you could have explained how much her views of your "path" upset/offended you
if she valued your friendship, she could have accepted you -with your chosen path-as you are...
if her friendship meant anything to you....I would suggest a compromise .....recognize each others' views without judgment
if that is not possible or desirable, then I would hope that both you and she learn to accept people as themselves...and allow yourself to develop friendships with people that hold a variety of view points....
2006-10-01 00:52:22 · answer #8 · answered by Gemelli2 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i had a very good friend of a number of years tell me that i was going to hell as well.... i felt it would be in conflict with my faith to be rude to him so i forgave but our friendship has never been the same.... we are both scholars of religion so being tolerant to each others faiths is what our friendship was based on...... also, i dont feel it is any one person's job to tell you your fate ...... Only God knows... and only God will decide
2006-10-01 02:00:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you even know if there is a hell or if it does exist? you can be arguing with your friend about something that neither of you have totally researched and are just going on the mythologies of the Greek, you can do your homework and you will really have some base to really argue.
2006-10-01 00:40:02 · answer #10 · answered by delmy d 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well everyone has their own opinion about things and you cannot really expect to agree with anyone on 100% of anything. That is why you sometimes have to simply agree to disagree.
2006-10-01 00:36:45 · answer #11 · answered by mortgagegirl101 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋