Child Custody questions, sort of....?

Question

Okay, just to warn you this is a two part question and a LONG one.

First my fiance is trying to get back in the lives of his two wonderful boys and it is going great. His ex has decided to say that if he wants to do this "by the book" then he
needs to provide insursance for the boys because the youngest,
Zachary, needs braces and such. But the new court order for child
support also included insurance saying that he must pay 42% of
all "medical, hospitalization, dental, orthodontic, optical, and
pharmaceutical expences incurred by or on behalf of the children and
not convered by insurance, including the deductible, if any." And
it also says that all payments for reimbursement support (medical I
am guess) have to be done through child support.

So basically he just need to tell her that as nicely as possible?

Because in reality Michael (my fiance) and I are both without insurance and Ally (our daughter)
has medicaid because we can not afford insurance.

The other part is he is not getting to see them every other weekend
because we are unable to make the 4 hour trip every other weekend
and also we work every weekend at Wal-Mart and it wouldn't be fair
to the boys. But his court order also states that he gets them
every other holiday and we do want them for Christmas. She brought
up Christmas in the conversation stating that she will "CONSIDER
allowing" them to see him AFTER Christmas (26th and 27th) and ONLY
if we are in West Virginia. She also said that it is ONLY if the
boys ASK her. We have the 25th and
the 26th and the 28th off ONLY and IF we can afford a hotel we can
do it on the 25th and the 26th and ONLY THEN could we see them. We
had said (not to her yet) that if she "ALLOWED" us to bring them
here the 26th then they would not be coming home until the 28th (our
next day off). What can he do about her not allowing them come down
here, can she REALLY say they are not allowed to come??

She states
it is because if something happens she doesn't know where they are
(I have suggested providing her with a map) but I don't think that
is fair and it is going against court order. Just by her saying we
can't have them Christmas day is going against the court order,
right? She says she can't even drive from Moorefield WV to
Winchester VA without getting lost (Winchester is a little more then
half way between us and the boys). Michael even suggested for her
to follow him to the apartment when he goes to get the boys, she
said IF she feels like it she will take the time to drive down here
and CONSIDER letting them come.

Any advice?

That is all, thanks for the help! Please be NICE!

THANK YOU!!!!!!!

We have looked for insurance through work and otherwise and we can not afford it, but the insurance is not the question and the court order DOES say that he pays 42%!!! The only thing is says he pays half of is the deductable, again it is not done between the partys it is done through BCSE ONLY.

I was wanting to know if she had this RIGHT simply because we can't afford a lawyer and court will take forever (WAY PAST CHRISTMAS). We are trying to find a "cheap" or pro bono lawyer so he can get the visitations changed to every other holiday and the FULL summer. Maybe if I can scrape another $400 together we can get it done by this summer and we will have them.

Answer 1

Go through the courts. See if you can consult with a lawyer. go back to court and tell the judge what is going on... maybe that'll help, you really should get to see the kids for the holidays... but even if you don't, its not the specific day that matters, its the spirit of the thing. its hard when you don't have the resources to make easier to see the kids. :( best wishes!

Answer 2

Child custody is such a touchy subject!! I am sorry that I really don't have the answers for the questions you are asking. I have a friend whose ex did not have insurance and he was forced to pay for insurance for their child when they went to court, he was also expected to pay half the copay and half of any prescription medicine for the child...and he really could not afford it either. I have another friend who moved about 3 hours from the area where her ex lived...and for any visitation, etc. they had to meet halfway to drop the child off and pick her up. My stepfather has custody of his son, they do the every other holiday rule, and the kids mother gets him 6 weeks during the summer by court order. I think I am blessed to have a good relationship with my son's father. We did not go to court and decided on joint custody. He still pays me child support, he pays half of daycare, he keeps our son on his medical and dental insurance, and we split the cost of doctors visits and medicine. All I can say to you is good luck, I know this can be very hard.

Answer 3

I think its pretty common that medical bills be split 50/50% after the insurance pays. The insurance is usually suppose to be taken by the party that can provide it at a reasonable cost or who has a decent plan through their employer...

I have friends that pay half of the premiums and then half of whats not picked up so their kids can get on the plan. If your guy takes it out he can get a family plan and also insure your daughter - usually you pay the same for a family plan no matter if its 1kid or 5

Answer 4

His ex can't argue with the court order. Whatever the court order says has to be followed. If she refuses to let him see his kids and he is following the court order, then he needs to take her to court and let the judge know she isn't following the order.