What are things to consider before marrying someone from another culture?specifically, Indian guy + American?

Question

What are additional issues an inter-cultural couple face? What are good ways of dealing with those issues? And how do you make sure that the other person doesn't lose touch with their culture and that the kids dont lose their culture either?

Answer 1

I really can't answer your question, but I can tell you this. Love isn't everything, both would have to be willing to give up a lot, especially if children are involved. My friend married a man from some country in Africa. They were married 8 years, with 3 children they got divorced last year. She couldn't put up with all of his beliefs. Their son wasn't allowed to be circumcised, he always wanted to use some kind of remedy with animals blood when they were sick, and it really fell apart when he wanted to take them back home to meet their grandparents for the first time. She refused because she was scared. He of course didn't understand this, because he was brought up like the things I've mentioned and he turned out OK. It was just hard for them to get along the older the kids got. She had to bite her tongue about a lot of things because criticizing them would be criticizing the way he was raised and his mother. You know how people are about their mothers. Just think long and hard about it.

Answer 2

It is a good idea that you have a conversation with your friend about the cultural traditions that are important to you in raising a family. Will you celebrate your differences together or apart? Will the children be part of both cultures? Also, there are cultural differences in communication styles. There are a lot of books about this in your local library -- also, college courses on Cultural Diversity. It is important that you both understand the differences and similarities that you share in your relationship. Good communication is key to the success of your marriage, whether or not you share cultural differences. There are many ways you can approach your marriage together -- and only the two of you can set the groundwork for the life you will make together. Good Luck!

Answer 3

First, do you really (truly, madly, deeply) love this person?
Do you have the same (or compatible) religious beliefs? A similar level of education, the same (or close to) social and economic background? Do you share similar values? Do you agree about work, the division of labor?
Where are you planning to live and how will your partner be viewed and treated there? (People in some countries consider anyone with a darker complexion as "black" and are racist; some countries really restrict women's activities and dress outside the family home.)
Do you have the support of both your extended families?
As far as children are concerned, what language are you going to speak in your home? What schools will you send them to?
If you're living outside your culture, it means extra work to keep it alive for the kids. But children from multicultural relationships can have multiple benefits. I have an English (Protestant) friend married to a Jewish man; they celebrate Hannukah AND Christmas. Another Catholic friend, also married to a Jewish man, raised her children in the church because she was the parent willing to go every Sunday. My husband is Dutch, I'm American, our daughter is a dual national and fluently bilingual. (Church was never an issue because we have very ecletic spiritual beliefs.)
The hardest thing, I think, is when you're from radically different backgrounds -- for example, Muslim and Catholic, working class and ridiculously rich, traditional male breadwinner and dedicated career woman...
The best way I've found for dealing with all these issues is to COMMUNICATE -- in open, honest conversation where all points and feelings can be expressed without fear of being judged, bullied, ignored or belittled...
Good luck!

Answer 4

Be open and honest with each other. Understand what you can live with and what y ou can not. Do not try to change someone that will or can not change. Anyone can pretend for awhile but that is not what marriage is all about. Some cutural differences can not mix, make sure by talking about EVERYTHING that you do not have something like that in the way of the happiness before you say I DO.

Answer 5

Find out your rights if you go to his country. What does being married entitle you to? Not entitle you to? How is marriage treated by folks in his culture. Visit if you can, for heavens sake. In some cultures men can demand sex from (read: rape) their wives and it is fine. I heard once that in certain cultures the man and woman can move in with his family, and the wife then becomes completely subordinate to the mother, who often treats her cruelly. Suicides then happen. Educate yourself. Don't rush in to anything.

Answer 6

family values, religion (you both need to believe the same because you will run into problems if you two have children some day.), money, Career's, trust, loyalty, respect. I could go on and on all day, but this is just what was on my mind. Good luck!!!!

Answer 7

you must consider that some culturs are very family orientedyou must be able to accept him or her and their family. Some cultures have different beliefs snd you must be able to accept them or keep your mouth shut.. and the kids must beable to make their own desions about how they learn about the different traditions...

Answer 8

love KNOWS NO COLOR..OUR GOD made humans...the word hue...means shades of color...man...means the persons he made..maybe many years ago ethnic backgrounds were a problem...maybe some kkk has a problem...most humankind ..do NOT..if YOU LOVE THIS MAN...DO NOT WORRY.your children should be loved and be of the most BEAUTIFUL COMPLEXTION..GOOD LUCK..LOVE EACHOTHER