My wife wont let me go to Afghanistan (or most likely Kuwait), Am I sellfish, stupid both or neither?

Question

I work for the Army as a Civilian as an "Item Manager". In my job I make decisions every day that effect the soldiers in the field. Opportunities come up all the time for volunteers to take short tours in theater, usually about 3-6 months.

I would really like to go because:

1) I think I would do a better job in my job if I were able to actually see how I was effecting things (instead of just seeing numbers on my computer).

2) I have a strong personal desire to see first hand a little bit of what is going on over there, the news can only show so much.

3) Much farther down the list, I would get a pretty significant boost in pay while I was there, it would also help further my career in the DoD to have it on my resume.

My wife does not threaten leaving or anything but does say very firmly that "you are not going". She says she does not want to have to worry about me over there.. I tried to tell her Id stay on base, so not as dangerous. no go

Should I quit pushing?

Nova, I could obviously pick up and go anyway, but what good would that do if shes taken off.. you must not be married...

thejukebox, no kids, but i do have a nice size insurance policy, she wouldnt be left with nothing.. obviously that wouldnt be good but i do not fear if god decides to take me. I'll do my best to stay out of harms way over there.

Answer 1

Because I like you and got to see your gifts recently, I am hoping you will heed what I say...and please take the time to red this. I wrote it specifically for you.

Please do not go to Afghanistan, because our military has dropped mass amounts of depleted uranium there and there is evidence that non depleted uranium was also used. In Iraq we have dropped the equivalent of 1/4 million Nagasaki bombs.

We have used these WMD's in four countries: Iraq, Iran, Kosovo, and Afghanistan. It was heavily used in Afghanistan. I read accounts of people near some of the bombing sites that had just horrific stories of one cancer after another...loses hair one week, leukemia the next, bone cancer the next..it was horrible just reading about it.

Please take a look at the horrific birth deformities from when it was used in the first gulf war, keeping in mind that we have increased the use by so much more now since then

http://www.uksociety.org/us_crimes_against-humanity_1.htm

Be sure to scroll down the page to see the pictures.

In Iraq, birth deformities are skyrocketing over 1000%. They are the worse birth deformities I have ever seen.

Cancer is up over 1000%.

All four places we have used it have had gulf war syndrome and it is believed to be the cause of it. Over 13,000 Gulf War One vets have died of injuries and illnesses and 67% have had children with serious birth defects like missing eyes or limbs. Their wives are getting sick (when they have sex, they get radiation poisoning). Independent testing of some of the troops who are sick or have sick spouses or children with birth defects have been shown to have radiation poisoning.

The effects will be greater this time around because the military had vastly increased the amount they used. The military's own records state that they need to essentially hush it up because if the health and environmental effects were widely known, people would demand its use be stopped.

They also do not know how to treat its health effects and are not paying for treatment of the vets but discharging them. Many have died from this war and are not included in the death counts...I heard the number is in the tens of thousands.

They also do not know how to clean the environment. All the food and water in Iraq is unsafe to consume until the end of time (4 1/2 billion years). Depleted uranium (DU) is very light and airborne. It takes a long time to settle and then the slightest breeze or passing car can put it back up in the air and once inhaled or absorbed through a cut, one is doomed. Here in the US, it has been found over 400 miles from testing sites and in the middle east, the fierce dust storms spread it even further.

It has spread to 15 countries from Iraq, including our allies in Europe. It is definitely in Afghanistan along with non depleted uranium. many afghanis bemoaned the death sentence we put them under...one without hope.

Although depleted uranium does not show up heavily on radiation detectors like non depleted uranium, it does have serious health affects and also damages human (and animal) DNA.

It continues to sicken, kill, and deform and will not lesson in its effects until the end of time.

I first heard of it from a US congressman during the presidential primaries. This particular man is one of the few honest politician, I believe. I spoke with him personally several times.

I also heard Major Doug Rokke speak. Major Rokke is one of the world's foremost authorities on radiological, chemical, and biological weapons. He was in charge of the whole depleted uranium medical unit. He and over 100 of his men were sent into a heavily contaminated area without protection. Over half of the men have died already.

Rokke is dying. He is a whistle-blower telling what he knows before his death. He has been shot at more than once for speaking out. Rokke says we do not know how to treat exposed military or clean the environment.

He was not told what was wrong with him despite many attempts to for over 2 years. Independent tests confirm he is a victim of radiation poisoning. If they won't tell one of the most highest men in the program he is a victim, you know they aren't telling the regular military men. The costs of attempting to treat it and compensate victims is astronomical in these day of skyrocketing budgets especially, hence, they discharge them and deny.

Many of these troops in the four places we used these weapons were not told or warned, but you are being given this warning here. Although my food has long since gotten cold and I should go to bed, although I typed the whole thing not once, but twice as I hit the esc key accidentally and lost all the words just as I was about to post, I am taking this time to warn you and ask you to reconsider. For your sake and your wives sake and your families.

No amount of knowledge that you can gain that will help you do your work better, or curiosity or need for adventure or big money is worth your health, your DNA, your wife's future health, and the health of your unborn children.

These victims didn't know what you have been told, people like Rokke are trying to warn people so their deaths will not be useless and in vain..they are trying to save lives. Please don't go. You are a sopecial person and your wife and family loves you and it is not worth the possibility or risk.

I know it is hard to convince someone in the service of this, they are told DU is perfectly safe, but our military has harmed its own troops and lied in the past and history can repeat itself. I strongly urge you not to go. You are so young..don't risk it..please.

It isn't a question of being selfish or stupid, both or neither. It is a question of being informed and making the best decision for the long run. Even if you don't consider it dangerous, your wive will worry and harm her health.

I know a mom whose son just got back and know how she suffered and worried every day...and still worries about DU.

I also met a man whose child had died in Iraq during a cross country tour he made with other military families. I watched him kneel in the grass beside a boot at a candlelight services with many boots. That one was really his son's. He knelt crying and touching the boot.

I spoke to him, hugged him, comforted him, talked with him about his son, and heard his deep pain. It makes me cry just thinking about him now; it fills my eyes with tears.

Seeing that kind of pain and helplessness from this older man was hard for any compassionate person. His son may have not had a choice, but you do.

If you should die or be injured or sickened, your wife will blame herself for not being able to talk out out of it. There is too much death already going on. ..let us not risk life and health anymore than necessary.

So many of these sick men were in the very prime of their lives and are suffering as if they were elderly people..long before they should have. Please reconsider. Your wife may have been led by God to question this and that led you to post it and I read some previous posts and checked back to see what new stuff you posted and that is how I came to write this and tell you this. Things happen for a reason sometimes.

Answer 2

First, I think you should not listen to the jerks who answered previously. They are the type of people who are the first to stand up and want their freedom, but the first to sit down when comes to actually DOING anything for freedom.

I understand why you would want to go to Iraq and I think it is admirable.

BUT every day people die, soldiers, govt contractor and civilian contractors - just because you stay onbase doesn't mean you are safe. Also, even if your family is financially prepared, if something happened to you can you imagine how it would emotionally damage them? Money is great, but I am sure those soldier's families would give all the money in the world to have their loved ones back.

There are pro's and con's to both sides but I would say this needs to be a decision that both you and your wife are comfortable with, whether you decide to go or not. If you are truly serious about going, I would say find a time when the two of you can sit down together with no interruptions and all the information in front of you and talk rationally. Once you do decide, then that needs to be final.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Sir, I congratulate you and every DoD civilian out there, and want to thank you for everything you do on a daily basis. Thank you.

I got to talk to a lot of DoD civilians who were deployed to Iraq and Kuwait (my primary source of free rides to goto the DFAC, indeed, was one gent who always seemed to show up when I was at the curb before the FOB bus did) and learned quite a bit about how their rotations and working conditions went. Suffice to say that you would not be in much danger in Iraq (I imagine the same for Afghanistan), and you'd be safer in Kuwait than in the United States.

I suggest if you have the funds, to take a vacation with your wife to Kuwait. There's not much of a tourism industry there per se, but Kuwait City is nice to roll around and there's some fine shopping over there. If you can convince your wife of that, she'll see firsthand that Kuwait isn't a warzone, and that you're perfectly okay. If you can convince her to bear with 90 day separations, then you're done. It's probably the notion that you're explaining things in terms of proximity to the military (being "on base", "deploying") that has her concerned.

Have you explained to her your 1), 2), and 3) notions, or has she shut you out from the get-go? If you haven't talked to her about such, then proceed to do so. Also, it might be a good idea to take her out to dinner with one or more people who have gone to Kuwait, and their wives. She's likely only hearing it from the news and your mouth. Give her more information; since you did marry her, she must be a reasonable person. Have her explain her fears and then approach them. And if she won't budge after you've done your best and other experienced people have done the best to tell her what the conditions are? Then find some other way to boost your GS rating, or try for another OCONUS slot she won't disagree with.

Good luck with convincing her, and making your career progress. All the best to you.

Answer 4

I am a Army Wife,and man oh man I had to laugh when I read this..It is the same arguement my hubby and I have had every time. He has been deployed this is his 4th tour to Iraq now. I tell him NO,your not going this time....And I even threaten to pack up and leave!! She is just worried about you,and I can relate. It is scary for us,lonely,and hard when you have a house and kids to deal with. Can you blame her? Would you want HER going off in a dangerous job? I turned the tables on my husband,this time I said fine,go,but I want to become a Flight Attendant and be able to travel and get paid to do it. He said NO way,its dangerous now to do that,and he got a feel of what it is like to worry!! I still plan on doing that,but he is staying home,no more deployments,yeah!!
Just don;t go,its not worth it. The Civilians have crappy places to stay there,and the pay isnt worth the Morters going off all hours shaking your can.

Answer 5

Bound's hubby here:

I am medically discharged from the Army. I have a recall clause that, considering my age, would not be utilized unless the threat were walking down main street (Uncle Sam wouldn't have to recall me in this case). I feel less of an American because I have been unable to serve my country in it's time of need. A year ago, before I got married and was blessed with a child, I would have gone at the drop of a hat. I love my wife and my child. Marriage and fatherhood change your priorities. If the threat to our country was on our soil, I would do what I have to do to protect my family. At this point in my life, to go overseas in either a combat or support role, would have to be a joint decision between my wife and I. I am not weak, I am not a coward, but I would respect my wife's feelings and opinions. Love of my family, can not be put second to the love of money.

General Douglas MacArthur in his farewell address to the cadets at West Point after being fired by President Truman, reminded the cadets of their vows of duty, honor and country. He was wrong. A man's first duty is his family, then honor and last, but not least, his country.

Listen to your wife. Is the loss of her love worth your career advancement?

Answer 6

Keep pushing. 3-6 months is a really short amount of time and in Kuwait things are pretty sweet. I would personally skip Afghanistan but Kuwait is great. Get Camp Doha if you can!! It is where all the high ranking guys hang out. Last time I was there they had a Starbucks, Pizza Hut, and a Baskin Robbins. Besides, you probably will work in a warehouse on a computer. When was the last time something bad happened in Kuwait?

Answer 7

I understand your feeling but you know what your job means and you don't have to see a Private use your service to know that what you do is needed.Take it from me, you see more of what is going on on TV. If you are in a firefight and the RPG or IED striking your vehicle doesn't kill you then what you see is the ground or the close up view of the hopefully bullet proof surface your hiding behind.The shortness of the tour isn't really a factor. The firefight you die in will last five to ten minutes, but you will be dead. This brings us up to pay and career. Well, if you dead neither will apply.
Don't go. Idiots like me who like OD's go but if you don't have to Don't Go.

Answer 8

Your wife does not want anything to happen to you because she loves you and does not want to lose you ! I strongly see your point though! I myself would love to see the middle east for self education purposes. You are fortunate to have a job to offer you this ! You want to experience something many Americans will never dare to attempt! Travel is the greatest education someone could ever have! I myself have travelled around the world with my previous job! Seriously , if this opportunity was offered to me I would want to go! I am also married, so it is a hard choice to make if my wife objected! But this may be your only opportunity . You have braced yourself for the worst and have something to take care of her! It's your choice, but personally, I will do it!

Answer 9

If she really truely loves you she should be happy for you that you have the chance to be among the elite few in this country who enjoy their jobs rather than count the seconds until the end of the day. If she doesn't, then I guess you'll have to make the choice between your job and your wife, and if she's as controlling as she sounds like it might not be such a loss after all. But whatever choice you make, be careful, because once you burn one bridge, the other one is all you'll have.

Answer 10

Yes i think you should stop pushing. She loves you and she doesn't want to have you gone for that long. Even if you were to stay on base you'd be in danger. You don't say if you have kids or not but if you do i'm sure you don't want them to have to grow up w/o you around.

Answer 11

Keep your head on your shoulders and stay at home. Only nuts volunteer to go into a war zone.