Help my daughter is almost 4yrs old and still is not potty trained, I've tried everything - what can I do?

Question

I have 3 children, a 5 & 3 yr old daughters and 15 month old son, My 1st daughter was potty trained by the age of 2. My second daughter is going to be 4 in February and still has no interest in going on the potty. I have tried everything from pull-ups, training pants, time out, talking about it, videos, books and even giving her the choice of a diaper or underware (she always chooses the underware). I cannot keep her in pull-ups she breaks out in a horrible rash. and I do not want to live covering everything in plastic or having everything stained with pee. what do i do? help?

Answer 1

keep her in diapers...this should be her choice, and she is obviously not ready to be trained...when she's ready, you'll know...if she hits 5 and is still in diapers try some various things, maybe waiting to change her when she has a poopy diaper...for now though, diapers....as far as 5 year olds having to be trained that's not necessarily true...for one, most kids will be 5 for at least a couple months before kindergarten and they can be pushed then...other kids will be kept out kindergarten by their parents, because they are still in diapers, and the one year is propably not a big deal....plus, there are kindergartens that accept children in diapers now....they'll just require you to supply your daughter's diapers...good luck!

Answer 2

If her diaper stays dry through the night (or mostly dry) then she has enough bladder control to use the potty. The issue is actually getting her to go.

I had the same problem with my three year old. Her diaper would stay dry for hours at a time since she was two. The problem is actually getting her to get on the potty at the perfect moment. I managed to potty train her in a day. The cost of diapers and the frazzled nerves got to be too much.

So Immediatly after she woke up in the morning I put her on the potty. It took less than five minutes for her to relieve herself. She was absouluty amazed. I made it the biggest deal. Hugs and kisses praise and of course we called every family member in three states and she got to tell them that she went to the potty. After she went I was extatic but then it was like, what now?

I put her on a schedule. I have a little potty I put in the livingroom. We watch shows, sing songs, read books, and drink a lot of fluids. She has to sit on the potty for five minutes at a time. She gets ten minute breaks in between to play with her sister, and run out some of the wiggles. Then she goes back on the potty for five more minutes. All day long you follow this schedule. Even when they start getting wiggly and difficult. A word of warning though, DO NOT try this if you have very little patience or if you have a habit of yelling when you get overwraught. It will only make things much much worse.

I had tried so many things with my little girl then one day we tried this and it worked perfectly. She only had one accident all day! It might not work the same with your child, but at this point, it wouldn't hurt to try. Good luck.

Answer 3

You are just going to have to work at it. It will be a challenge, but put her in underwear and take her to the bathroom and set her on the toilet (potty chair, big potty, anything that she feels most comfortable on ) Read to her while she sits. Make it a fun time for her. My daughter learned how to count this way. We had tub toys in the bathroom and we would hand them back and forth and count as she sat. My daughter is 3 and just now getting trained with peeing. Pooping though, she will not do on the potty. Eventually she will not like getting wet. You didn't say if she is afraid of the potty. I bought a potty chair and then let my children just sit on it as any chair, just to get used to it and realize it was not going to hurt them. There is a good product out there called Urine Gone. It is excellent and works well for accidents. This is part of life. You will have to deal with it. Good luck to you. My first child trained by age 2, my second, be 3 for pee and 5 for poo (he had bowel problems), now my daughter is on her own schedule. She will do it eventually, but you will have to find a way to make it fun for her and not a traumatic event.

Answer 4

I had a friend who's little girl struggled with potty training she was a middle child to
she potty trained when she realized that she could not go to school if she did not go on the potty

also you may have all ready done this but speak to her doctor she may have a medical condition that causes this it is common I can not remember what it is called but may be worth checking out
and if it is you will know that it is not that she did not want to she did not feel it until it was running down her legs

Answer 5

As bad as it sounds, I had to scare my daughter into potty training. See, she has had multiple operations on her hip, and every time she started going on the toilet, she had to have another operation, where she was put in a body cast for 6 weeks. Well, after we were almost through with the operations, she was in pull-ups, I had just changed her, and she went again. I pulled out the potty training toilet and said, "That's it.. you're gonna sit there until you do something!!!". She did, and never went back to pull-ups after that. Sad, but it worked. Not suggesting you try this, but it worked for us.

Best of luck.

Answer 6

When my little brother was learning to potty train. He took a long time too. He was over 3 years old. We bought him "Big Boy" Underware, and told him that when he has to go pee. He can't go in his underware, because it will run down his leg, and he can't have his underware anymore. It worked very well. I think he only had 2 accidents in them after he got them, and that was while he was sleeping.

Answer 7

When I trained my daughter, the very first time she went on the potty I made a REALLY big deal about it. We had a little tea party, and I called her grandma to tell her and have her tell my daughter how proud she was. Then, to keep encouraging her, I got a piggy bank and every time she went on the potty she "earned" a penny. There were a few accidents, and my daughter got really upset about them, but I kept a really positive attitude about the whole thing and she did really, really well. Try talking to your pediatrician; they might have some good advice too. Good luck!

Answer 8

this may sound tough but what about not changing her???? she wont want to keep having to sit in it. I dont mean dont ever chamge her but make sure she uncomfortable before changing her. or explain to her that she wont be able to go to school until shes trained or place a bowl of mms in the bathroom and everytime u or an older sibling go to the bathroom and when u finish you eat 2 or 3 mms soon enough she'll want some to then you explain that the mms are only for after you go pee on the potty

Answer 9

some of the advise here is good but maybe your older child can help by taking her when she goes and having a little potty chair special for her until she gets the hang of it. and potty time every 1/2 hour helps rewards helps and only big girls can wear big girl panties and i told mine that she has to be potty trained before school starts just keep at it and she will learn.

Answer 10

As a mother of 4 myself, I'd say her problem is that she is getting more attention when she has a problem than when she is OK.

It's hard to divide your attention among more than 2, and that can really make a big difference, especially to the middle child.

Try not to give her negative attention at all.

Try to catch her before she has to go, and give her lots of positive attention for that, and for other things as well.

The other thing about potty training is.... you don't want to give them the idea that they are doing YOU a favor when they use the toilet. It should be for their own benefit. Otherwise, some kids will fail just because that gives them some power over you.


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