Are you ready to laugh? I am, Hope you see the humour, God bless you. pls let me know. Thanks?

Question

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back or that you could crawl into a hole ?
Here are the testimonials of
a few people who did...
*I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blowj*b?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word.
He knew better.
*I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good- looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
*My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget .
*Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said, "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Dan! my, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, ! did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
*This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? A true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too!
While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were about sixteen flights lined up waiting to get clearance to take off. Then the other Stewardess got a message from the Pilot that the tower said the wind had changed 180 degrees and they were first in line to take off, and to have everyone buckle up. Without thinking she just announced "Please buckle up, grab your drinks and hold your nuts, we're taking off", No one saw her for the rest of the flight to Houston, and all the other Stewardesses were laughing all the way and half of the passengers.
Now, didn't that feel good ?

Answer 1

Excellant I needed a good laugh so will the guys at the local VFW hall THANKS

Answer 2

YES I laughed allot, reading these moments in your life when you say some thing innocently then realizing the connotations behind what you have said,
here's a quick one for you in return: when I was about 12yrs old we had just heard a Monty python record, where doc's were chatting & one sat up and said " so you always wanted to be a gynocoligist"!
Back in the very early 70's & all the family quietly eating a Sunday afternoon meal, Just got home from our church with parents enforcing it very strictly to us kids. my father & his bro in law (my uncle,) were the two top minister's! The family related it as elders.My young cousin totally obliviuose to what the meaning was, blurts out, "so is that what you want to be, a gynocoligist"! he was the only one laughing when he realised he had said somthing that had serious side effects,and concequences. We all got the Lecture !! that those words were only for adults, GodBless

Answer 3

A slip of tounge may embarass us, but will bring smile and laughs on many, as mine one.......

thanking you for the best laugh I ever had!

very hilarious, all the incidents....hahahaha... I think all are real ones..even if they were made up......they are very good...

Answer 4

Very funny, what a laugh. A guy asked me one time if i play pool, i said no, i have trouble holding the stick. With one raised eyebrow, he said, you can hold mine and i will help you. I was so embarrased.

Answer 5

thanks for the chuckles! They were all good ones!
When we were potty training my son, we were at the mall when I was informed he had to go potty... I picked him up and headed out of the store while he was telling me he had to go bad.... I replied OK meaning I understood... and I felt this warm sensation running down my side through my coat...

Answer 6

In all of these there is a sturdy humor. You have told nicely. About balls and inches of snow, in particular.

Answer 7

The funniest jokes I've ever heard in my lifetime! I'll have to remember those for when i'm in the candy and nuts shop or when I'm in a plane! Thanks for the laugh!

Answer 8

Hilarious. I remember reading this when ppl used fwd every joke they heard. Its funny every time I read it.

Answer 9

that was delight full, I'm just going to bed with a big smile on my face.thanks and God Bless You.

Answer 10

Those are all hilarious. Thanx for the laugh.