Is it my fault?

Question

I have 4 children ages 5 - 2 months old.

Whenever my children have flu or cough, my mum in-law said it that is my fault. I wash their head everyday and I do not gave them warm drinking water. That`s make my hubby mad at me too. They think that I didn`t know how to take care of my children.
My baby who is still breastfeeding has flu once too, neither did she drinks cold water nor I wash her head daily.

When the weather is cold, I always give them a warm shower and I rarely give them cold drinking water except in a hot summer day.

So, is it my fault? Why they always make me feel guilty on my children`s health?

What should I do to prevent them from having cough and flu?
Thanks.

Answer 1

Sometimes kids just get sick. I know, as an adult, even though I take good care of myself, wash my hands & eat well, I sometime get sick. Children who are curious about the world around them often expose themselves to many diseases their parents have had or have more protection against. I have seen many children who will touch or taste something just to add to their realm of experience. This is not anyone's fault.
The immune systems of children are not as well developed as those of adults, so they often get sick more easily than adults will. Also, kids, when they play, do more hands-on activities than adults do. This makes it very easy for kids to transfer their illnesses. Do your children's friends ever get sick? Do you or your husband or mother-in-law ever get sick? We can prevent many things from happening by being clean and eating well and exercising, but it won't stop everything.

I'm not a doctor or trained in medicine, but much of this seems like common sense to me.

Answer 2

1st of all children do not catch the flu from warm drinking water or dirty heads. The flu, colds, stomach aches and most other childhood illnesses are extremely contagious. Meaning if one of your children comes down with something.. chances are the others will too. Thats why kids who go to school come home with so many minor illnesses, because it goes from kid to kid. If you are having a problem keeping your kids from getting sick too often, trying improving their hand washing habits (hands spread germs not dirty heads) and disinfect surfaces like phones, door knobs, toilet seats and counter tops regularly. Your mother in law has no right to blame you for their illnesses, and you are perfectly capable of taking care of your children. Your husband, should not be mad at you either, infact, ask him to help out by cleaning the surfaces mentioned above and keeping the sick children away from the still healthy ones. Best of luck to you... this is cold season, so hang in there.

Answer 3

No, it is not your fault. Colds and flus are caused by viruses, which are passed from person to person. Sometimes a person can have the virus and you won't know it. They are at your home, and cough or sneeze, or touch something. The virus is either breathed in or passed by touching what they touched, a doorknob, a handle, a cup, etc. If your five year old is in school, it's possible to catch a cold from another child at school, and pass it to other children at home. Your husband and in laws need to learn more about these things. Ask your children's doctor for some information about this that they could read. They won't blame you if they know what is happening.

Answer 4

The flu is a virus. Wash their hands more than you wash their head. Washing too much can also prevent the immune system to build up a tolerance thereby allowing the child to get sick more often. I have never heard that cold water spreads the flu. Maybe the glass not being clean but not the temperature of the water. Also, temperature changes that exceed 20 degrees can lower a persons immune system.

Find ways to build up your child's immune system. There are many sources on the net.

Answer 5

Both flu and cold viruses are transmitted the same way -- through microscopic droplets from an infected person's respiratory system.

Someone sneezes or coughs, and droplets are sprayed onto any nearby surface -- including you!

If people cough or sneeze into their hands (without a tissue), they can contaminate every surface they touch. If you touch that same surface, you pick up the virus. If you rub your eyes or nose, you've just infected yourself.

To protect yourself and prevent the spread of cold and flu viruses:

Wash your hands frequently. Use an alcohol-based gel if you don't have access to water.
Cough and sneeze into a tissue or into your hands. Wash your hands afterward.
No tissue? When you cough, turn your head away from others.
If you have a sudden sneeze, bend your arm and sneeze into it.
Don't touch your eyes, nose, or mouth.
Wash any shared surfaces (like phones and keyboards) frequently. Viruses can live on surfaces for several hours.
Stay away from crowds during cold and flu season.

Your habits towards bathing your children and giving them warm water do not give them sicknesses. Use the steps above to keep healthy.

Answer 6

No, it is NOT your fault. If you are paying attention to your kids (washing them, feeding them, clothing them, and loving them) then you are not responsible for their getting a cold or a flu. They get colds because they are children and all kids get sick. That is how they build up antibodies to stay healthier as they grow up.

From the sound of it, you are doing a wonderful job with your four children, and you should be very proud of yourself and of your little ones.

Mother-in-laws can give bad information. Sometimes they say really hurtful things (like blaming you for your baby's cold) because they think it will help. It doesn't help, and she has no right to be angry with you, nor does your husband.

If you have any questions about how to keep your kids healthy (as we all do), a family doctor will usually be able to give you the answers you need. Once the doctor has told you that you are doing a great job, you can tell your mother-in-law and husband what the doctor said. Believe the doctor, he/she knows. (our mother-in-laws didn't go to school for 5 years to learn about germs!!)

It is not your fault.

Answer 7

The Flu and Coughs are all caused by a virus. It has nothing to do with how you take care of your children. The virus could be at a grocery store or friends house. You mother in law needs to underastand that this is nothing you nor anyone else causes. You are not to blame.

Answer 8

There are lots of different kinds of colds and u never get exactly the same one twice.. so the more ur kids get sick now the healthier and less sick they will be when they get older. Drinking warm or cold water doesnt matter neither does washing their heads everyday. If u get sick take antibacterial hand gel with u everywhere!! wash all the surfaces in your house and spray with lysol.. especially phones, keyboards, remotes, doorhandles. wash your hands frequently and get the kleenex tissues that kill 99% of germs on contact. dont get too close to anyone else incase it spreads. but No its not your fault and they shouldnt make u feel guilty like that. just be very careful when ur kids get sick cause if one gets it .. more than likely the other will good luck

Answer 9

Flu's, colds, etc are transfered from being around people w/ those germs.

So if you husband is off at work all day and comes home...he is bringing in the germs. If others are stopping by to visit, they could be bringing in the germs. If your 5 yr old is in school of some type or around many other kids, he could be bringing the germs home. If you go to the store, alone or with kids, they could get the germs this way.

To blame one person for someone else getting sick in a world of bacteria, disease, viruses, etc.....is pretty immature if you ask me. Tell them both to grow up and if they THINK they can do a better job....then come on....do it. ANYONE can talk, takes a real person to do the action.

Answer 10

Colds and flus are passed along because people are in closer proximity to one another. It's cold outside, so you stay inside. You're cooped up together and have a greater chance of passing along viruses.

To prevent your children from getting colds, clean your house with antibacterial wipes (Clorox works well) and spray your home with Lysol or a similar household product. Have your children wash their hands frequently.

Just because they DO catch colds doesn't mean it's your fault. If one of your children is in school, it's likely that's how he/she is getting sick. It's inevitable that if the school-aged child gets sick that everyone else will too.

One thing to point out to your husband is that getting sick now will build up their immune systems in the future.