there is this girl i cant figure out. i really like her. i asked her out a year ago and she said no. we are still friends. we hang out like dinner, movies, ballagmes, and picnics. however she NEVER calls me to hang out i always have to. we have a lot of un when we do tho. she gives me strong hugs and i kiss her on the cheek. i know she likes me as a friend. she knows i like her. im seriously at my wits end. it makes me crazy thinking she wants other guys and not me who are jerks by the way and only wnat to **** her. im so nice to her and would drive 3 hours in the middle of the night if she needed someone to talk to. i cant do homework. i dont want to go out and meet other girls. i only want her. should i keep being her friend even though it drives me crazy? should i tell her what im telling you?
2006-09-30 16:10:57 · 14 answers · asked by cronaldo17 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
TELL HER!! Or you'll always look back and yearn for the one that got away.
2006-09-30 16:16:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in the friend zone....if you want out of the friend zone, allow yourselves to grow apart. Right now, you're the sacrificial guy in her life that allows her to go have sex with all these hot guys who will burn her in the end. Guess what buddy....she's doing it because she wants to.
The idea that you're always calling her and she never calls you says that you are giving her all the you she requires from you right now. So deprive her of that for a time, and then renew the relationship, but in a different way.
The next time you approach her (minimum 9 months...sorry, buddy) you need to tell her about some changes you've gone through, some maturing....and let that conversation go. Don't seek to "seal the deal" right then.
Now, the reason you will be able to say those things to her, is because it will be true. Your absence will release that former perspective the two of you have now. Take that time to do some research, ask around, read some books....your goal during this hiatus is to learn how to be more mysterious, more in control, and more independent. Make some decisions about your life. Get a plan, make some goals. Why? These are all things any woman desires in a man. (By the way, be sure and rent "The Last American Virgin" and realize you've been the schmuck crying at the end)
Then, find an opportune time for the two of you to "bump into each other" after that intial "re-meeting". That's when you ask her out..not to "hang out". Make it an obvious date, whatever you've got to do to make that happen. You don't have to explain why you want to....you don't have to try and convince her...just ask.
If she says yes, you have a shot at getting back in the game....because I'm going to tell you pal, it's doubtful she's ever seen you as dating material. If she says no, well, then move on; the 9 months will have prepared you to meet another gal who is interested, and you'll already be equipped to stay out of the friend zone next time around.
Nice guys settle for the friend zone because they think it gives them an "in", when in reality, it just gives you a front row seat to your heart being broken.
2006-09-30 23:27:40 · answer #2 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No dont tell her everything that you told us.
She already knows most of it. Perhaps she doesnt feel romantically inclined with you due to the distance and wants someone closer.
Doesnt make you a person she wouldnt want something more with, she might think that it's difficult for her to handle a LD romantic attachment so she's keeping some emotional distance so as not to lead you on further.
Hey, but youre already there, so let her know how you feel about her and ask her if she would like to take the relationship to another level. In love, there are always risks you must take to move together forward or move forward separately. You could say nothing and it stays the same or she finds someone else or eventually you do.
2006-09-30 23:19:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds strange but maybe you're making yourself TOO available. Always calling and being the one to set things up, the one driving to see her, not going out with other girls - she doesn't call you because she knows you'll do it. She could not want to date because she knows how crazy you are about her and that you'll always hang around because you like her so much. It would be really interesting to see what she would do if you got another girl to hang out with, that would show her true feelings for you. Sounds lame I know but people play games, and people like others around who are "safe" and make them feel good about themselves but they don't have to date them. Often those same people will have a sudden change of heart if you go and date someone else. I say keep being friends but really really try to at least meet other girls, I know it's super hard but give it a shot. Good luck!
2006-09-30 23:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by Surferchic50 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you should do is stop obsessing on her. If she wanted something other than friendship with you she would let you know. She doesn't call you to hang out because it's obvious to her that you like her more than just being friends. She probably doesn't want to give you false hope by asking you out, which you'd take the wrong way.
If you want her as a friend that's fine but you need to seek out other friends, do other things, hang out with your guy friends and try to meet other girls who may be interested in you.
2006-09-30 23:15:14 · answer #5 · answered by nquizzitiv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is not driving you crazy as a matter of fact you are the one who drives yourself crazy i think u are crazy now.if she is confusing you..why not change your style..be a jerk so she will like you.**** her and do whatever she likes..maybe you are just a tweetums to her and she likes jerks because it does something to her pills.you know!you can even ask her about your relationship to her and ask her what does she want.and kindly inform her not to assure and give you false hopes.goodluck then dear boy!
2006-09-30 23:16:02 · answer #6 · answered by bisaya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her what you told me but if she says no it's not the end of the world so still be a friend, but she may love you but not in that way, she may love you as a brother.
2006-09-30 23:15:13 · answer #7 · answered by dolphinprincessbelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do I put this?--You're a fool!!!! She knows how you feel and she's using that against you. She knows you'll always be there to fall back on. You're her safety net when a situation goes bad. She's got it made, and you're getting screwed.
2006-09-30 23:25:13 · answer #8 · answered by dreamchsr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your being to nice . you have to step a way alittle bit when she calls you dont answer or say your busy. girls like guys who arnt always there for them
2006-09-30 23:28:16 · answer #9 · answered by annamariecreed 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
totally should tell her what you have just typed. if she doesnt want you after that, then she really must have problems, because you sound like a dream guy.
2006-09-30 23:13:04 · answer #10 · answered by chikka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋