2006-09-30 15:57:39 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
By feeling the need to ask strangers for a yes or no you obviously are not sure about whether you should marry this guy or not. I think I would wait till I was sure of what I wanted to do before doing it.
2006-09-30 16:01:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you want children? Does he? What if you had a child at 25, and another at 28? When those children were born your husband would be 54 for the 1st and 57 for the 2nd. Would he even allow this, or does he have grown children and no desire to start over? If he was willing to have more children, in the scenario above he would be 75 when the youngest turned 18, and at least 79 when that kid finished college (if he's still alive). By the time the kid was 10 he would be retired...would his retirement income be sufficient to care for his family the way you want them to be cared for? When the kids are teens and you are done with little kids and ready to relax and travel, will he be healthy enough? Or will you graduate straight from buying toddler pull-ups to buying Depends for your husband? When the kids are grown you will have serious "empty nest syndrome", because your husband will probably be ready to die around the same time and you will find yourself totally alone and needing to start over. Romance fades, but what is left to make you glad you got married is deep love and friendship with your husband, and happiness about the advantages married life brings to your lifestyle. As noted above, in your case marriage could bring many problems to your lifestyle. Will the love and friendship make up for that, or do you not really have that much in common with someone 30 years older than you to begin with? You need to get practical. I am sure he is flattered that a young woman is interested. He cannot build a marriage on being flattered. I am sure he makes you feel safe and cared for. But soon he will be a frail senior citizen and YOU will be caring for HIM. As an old lady I can tell you, old men are great...for old ladies.
2006-09-30 16:19:32 · answer #2 · answered by z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a former 21 that married a 35, I can tell you that it's hard to make the relationship work. On the other hand, there was a 14 year difference between my Mom and Dad and that worked.
But ask yourself if you really want to take care of him if he gets sick... or if you'd stay with him if he became impotent... Does he have family? Aren't his kids like your age or older?
Only you can know if he is the right man for you and if you are committed enough to make this work but if you're already going into it with the idea of "If it doesn't work, I can bail" then don't marry him.
Also, if he already has had several marriages not work out, I'd think twice about it. He might be marrying you because you're so young and he thinks he can "mold" you into the woman he wants you to be instead of the woman that you are.
2006-09-30 16:01:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why? I am not asking you that question, that is what you need to be asking yourself.
It is important that your family supports your decision, but that should not be a reason not to carry on with your plans. If you love this person and this person loves you then you should continue with your plans.
I am not gonna say it won't work, but It Will Be one of the most difficult things to make work. There are way to many differences between on that is 52 and one that is 23.
2006-09-30 16:03:04 · answer #4 · answered by Chief 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the fact that you're online and asking a load of strangers if you should marry this guy or not just proves that you shouldn't.
when you're ready to marry someone there would be no doubt in your mind and you obviously have some doubt. you're 23. you stll have time to find your mate. he's 52 and he's pretty much done everything without you...not much left to share. i'm sorry but please don't be hasty because marriage isn't a walk in the park. i think you should take a walk and think hard and seriously about this.
2006-09-30 16:02:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are marrying him because you are in love then go right ahead. My dad is 12 years older than my mom. He got married with my mom when she was 18. My grandparent's didnt approve of him not only because he was 12 yrs older but also because he had already been married once before. && know they have been happily married for 21 years. So umm like I said if you truly love him && you arent marryign him because of money or w/e then I think you should get married to him. Oh and btw my mom's parents <3 my dad now
Good luck && best of wishes
2006-09-30 16:02:44 · answer #6 · answered by *:.Ojos Verdes.:* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure you like him for the right reasons, and that you both want the sames things in Life. Also consider where things will be 10 years from now. There are conflicts big and small in every relationship. You will likely fight over things as you get past the honeymoon phase. Make sure your love is strong enough to deal with troubles in 10 years.
2006-09-30 16:02:14 · answer #7 · answered by justdennis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Society would say no. But, clearly if you were going to get into an engagement with him, wouldn't you care about him? And if that's the case, why would you ask people on the internet to decide your future plans for yourself?
Anyway, my opinion would be, ew, he's pretty old in comparison to yourself and I don't know what you'd see in someone that old. But, whatever floats your boat. If you truly care about him, age doesn't matter.
If you're family doesn't like him, don't worry, they're concerned. Someone your age getting involved in someone his age, they have a right to be. If you're serious about this guy, because for whatever reason you care about him, then... go crazy.
2006-09-30 16:11:50 · answer #8 · answered by Boxers 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's very rare. But not impossible. If you let OTHER PEOPLE make your decision for you then you really don't love him. Age means nothing when you're in love. IF YOU ARE IN LOVE THAT IS. You have to be just as careful as two people who are (2) yrs apart and are thinking of marriage. You and he are (29) yrs apart so make sure it's LOVE. You'll probably have more votes for NO than YES. But it's YOUR DECISION. I have a story to share with you. E-mail me :)
2006-09-30 16:08:54 · answer #9 · answered by i sharpen 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey I do applaud you 're in the process of marrying him anyway. It's your life not theirs. Especially if he loves you and you love and trust hm back.
This is your comfort zone and security blanket. But all means make sure he takes care of you by making the bread, fry the bacon melting the cheese in the eggs with proper seasoning. You got my drift.
2006-09-30 16:05:21 · answer #10 · answered by Rietta 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋