Does anyone have suggestions on how to have time with your husband when you have three small children?

Question

I am a mother of three girls. The youngest is 6 Months middle 3 years and oldest is 5, I also live with my mother in-law. (We are building a house this is only temporary). We never have time together

Answer 1

Wow...do you and I have a lot in common!! My husband and I have 3 children....they are 6, 4, and 3, and we also live with my m-i-l b/c we are also building a house!! I know how you feel!!! It is hard to get any time. We put a tv and dvd player in our room and make sure and get the kids in bed asleep by 9. Then, we can watch a movie in our room without the parents! Also, about every 2 months my mom keeps my kids for a weekend and my husband and I will go and rent a jacuzzi suite in the town that we live in and stay a night or two. That way, we are still close to home in case we need to run a few errands, but we can also go to the hotel and veg out and turn the phones off!!!

Answer 2

Hi Tarheel1, I am in the exact same situation, i also have 3 small children 15mths-son, 3 & 5 yr old daughters. I also was living with my mother in law temporary & building a home which turned into buying my in-laws home and she is still here 2 yrs later plus my husbands 89yr old great Aunt who needs 24 hr care. I felt exactly the same as you, until i finally took hold of the reigns and set down the rules. My children all are in bed by 8pm and have been told each night that this is now mommy and daddy time. unfortunatly sometimes this still does not always feel that this is enough, but i also look at it this way, " We tried for yrs to have children and they are finally here, So we try to enjoy every waking moment with them to make sure they are happy, healthy and well educated". One day we will have the "our time" back, and then we will wish they were still small and dependent of us. So for now we enjoy our couple hours in the evening together, and during the weekends we spend our family quality time together doing day trips or going to the park. My husband and I also throughout the year will take overnight trips or weekend trips together to a hotel of our choice or rent a cabin or cottage. Just to remind each other how much we love each other and to make sure that the other one is not feeling forgotten over the daily caios. (even though when we are away over night we miss our little rascals and often feel homesick - it figures right?!) All I can tell you is to enjoy everything you have - it could be alot worse. hope this helped, I know how you feel, hang in there!

Answer 3

I wish I were writing with an answer but I'm not, I'm just really sympathetic to how you feel. Only thing is I don't live with my mother-in-law I live next door. But I do look forward to the answer my husband and I have three girls ages 6,4, and 2 and we've still never figured out how to balance our time to make enough for each other. The girls just take so much of our time that we just fall through the cracks. You are soooo not alone!!! I'll be waiting on an answer. Just wait until your children start all the extra stuff ex:dance,tennis,cheer,piano,soccer,swimming-it'scrazy time!!!

Answer 4

I am the mother of six children ages 8, 5, 4, 3 year old twins and a 5 month old. Me and my husband everyday (when its nice outside) have one hour at least committed to each other. We get the kids fed, bathed and in bed by 8pm. Then at 8 we sit outside and just talk. Both of you have to make the effort though. I hope something works out for you and your husband. GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

Well congratulations on the family.. Hope you get to move soon. With the new house I am sure that your husband is very busy so. Take the extra money from that jar in the laundry room. Put the girls in daycare for a few hours. take him to lunch were he likes to go. then just get in the car and drive. around town or even through the counrty depending were you live. Listen to him don't talk about the girls. don't take him shopping unless it is for auto related. give him a hour about just him. tell him that you love him kiss him and go home. trust me you will feel great that you were able to give without recieving and he will be trying to figure out a way to repay you for weeks. Good luck

Answer 6

I am a mother of three boys, 8 years,3 years, and 5 months. You just have to make a concentrated effort to do something alone with your husband. Sometimes something as simple as an evening drive with my husband helps us to reconnect and feel close and not just like a mom and dad. It's so difficult to find the time but it is worth it if you do.

Answer 7

Since you live with in-laws temporarily, maybe they will be willing to watch the kids for an evening so you can spend time with your husband.
If not try a friend and trade services, baby sitting if they have children or other things if they don't. Even if it is only once or twice a month, try to get some alone time with your husband.

Answer 8

You have to make time for him sweetie. Our husbands need lots of love and affection too. I remember a circumstance quite sometime ago when I found my husband in tears inside his workshop. He had been spending so much time all by himself in the shop for quite a while, so one evening I went in to take a peek at what he was working on and was shocked to find him slumped over crying.

That was such a wake up call to me and all I remember doing, is holding him for a really, really long time that night. Kids are important, but so are husbands too. Since then I have always made sure to take all the extra time needed to insure things are close between my husband and myself. We have always had such a great and loving relationship and since that time, have had an even closer and better one than ever.

Communication is so important.

Answer 9

No suggestions!

Wait about 15 years and you'll have some time together again!

I felt the same way when my two lids were little. Mine are now 15 and 12 and last night was the "first time" I asked my husband to go to a movie together - sans infants! (no kids).

Answer 10

The key here is pre-planning or jump at opportunities as you they present themselves. It will take a bit of extra effort on your part and your husbands. Are you able to plan a night out at a hotel...perhaps your mother in law can step in to babysit and do feedings for your youngest, just for a night. Or grab dinner at a drive thru and park somewhere to enjoy......just by yourselves with your fav CD playing...that would be a nice 30-45min get away. Be as receptive as possible to "stolen moments" with your husband. I think the trick here is to grab and embrace even just a few minutes......as you can.
I know you must be so tired and overwhelmed...........this too shall pass.