I asked this same ? about 4 days ago but didn`t get the answer I was looking for. It`s kind of a long story and I type slow but it will be continued in added details. Please don`t answer until I have finished with the whole qestion. Thanks. Ok, so, I have a bf who is seperated and going through a divorce. He is technically still married right now.They are very much over eachother and NEVER want to be back together. I have been living with him for 5 months now in the house they bought together. When I first moved in, ther was a reminder of her and their life together everywhere I looked. Within the first couple of weeks I got rid of everything from "them" and replaced it with mementos of us together. Well, that`s what I thought anyway. About a week ago I was cleaning out our bedroom closet and found some naked pics and dirty notes from when they were together. I immediately got upset and threw them all out. Later, I confronted him with what I found and he apologized and told me he had..
2006-09-30 15:35:26 · 12 answers · asked by slipknots love slave 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no idea they were there...which I pretty much believe, but it is STILL bothering me! I am not a jealous person and don`t care if he watches porn, goes to strip clubs, looks at magazines, etc., etc. But this is different. They were together for 5 yrs, married for 11 months. I can`t get the images and words I saw out of my mind and feel very hurt and insecure about the whole thing. I feel like I am not as attractive naked as she is, like he lied to me when he said he loves me more than he ever loved her, like I am just an intruder in HER house, HER bed, with HER man. I have spoken to him about this and he tries to reassure me but it has had no affect on my pain. I don`t know how to stop being crazy and hyper jealous about this. It hurts SO much. How do I get the stuff I saw out of my mind? Any advice on how to NOT feel hurt?
2006-09-30 15:42:54 · update #1
DAMMIT!!! I thought I TOLD you to wait till I had finished the WHOLE question before answering!! Damn, people!!!!
2006-09-30 15:45:12 · update #2
i read the rest of ur story on the other ? but i wanted to answer on this ? well first off i dont think that ur a homewrecker i believe that he was already broken up if i were u i would just for get about it let it go he loves u not that other girl u probley treat him better then she ever did i found pic of my hubby and his ex (from when they were together) he just had them but up with his old stuff so i did the same thing and threw them away and he didnt care cause he didnt care about her sounds the same way with ur bf he didnt care that u threw them away cause he dont care about her yall make some new mwmories just like that right him dirty notes and yall take dirty pics of eachother and im pretty sure that u r prettyer then she was otherwise he wouldnt b with u honey dont worry everythingg is going to b alright just forget about it the past is the past just worry about YALLS future and make it a happy one (he will probley like the dirty notes and the pic from u better anyways
good luck
2006-09-30 15:48:45 · answer #1 · answered by lil_mamas_sk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You moved your life into their home and memories,, you can clean walls, but every day he walks in that house its his life that he had with is wife good or bad.. I think you guys should move out and share something together,,, you can't erase memory no matter how you try and the pic might of just be a mistake and maybe it was a keep sake.
2006-09-30 15:46:37 · answer #2 · answered by M M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, my situation is much like your boyfriend's...I am separated, pending divorce, with a girlfriend of my own. The thing that you have to understand, is that no matter what, especially depending on the amount of time they spent together, she will always be there, somewhere. She will always have a piece of his heart, despite his attempts at solace by telling you otherwise. It's up to you to understand and accept that. I'm not saying that he still loves her, not by any means, but he'll still have the memories of the good times, and the heartache of the bad. You can't do anything besides be understanding and considerate of his situation. It's up to him to close any loose ends up, and set his own heart free. If you support him with this, then you probably couldn't ask for a more loyal, supportive partner.
2006-09-30 15:42:14 · answer #3 · answered by antics_silvermist 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I went back and read the previous post because you left me hanging........i had to respond so I did it on the first question. I think you will like the answer that it is what you are looking for.
Hang in there and take it one day at a time.
2006-09-30 15:54:58 · answer #4 · answered by WitchTwo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the other person that said maybe he didn't remember they were there. Honey, I think you are moving a little bit too fast. First of all, 5 months is still too early to move in with someone. Proceed with caution.
2006-09-30 15:41:35 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What you found you find don't blame him for the mess.
Maybe you can find some vibrator too - and he forgot to dispose.
Just clean the place and have good future. Don't bring somebody past to problem like that, what for?.
2006-09-30 15:42:31 · answer #6 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he cheated on you? I think if your relationship is really meaningful, and you think hes worth it. You should forgive him this time, give him a chance, he may change and regret what he had done and learn to never do it again, because he'll have that chance of losing you. But if he does do it again. Do not forgive him, if he cheated on you twice, he'd probably cheat on you again.
2006-09-30 15:42:52 · answer #7 · answered by exxohh<3 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i desire i used to be extra loopy extra constructive in myself however i'm lovely loopy than a traditional man or woman might be fur sur. however i dont feel im crazier than u for a few cause tho haahaaaaa
2016-08-29 09:54:50 · answer #8 · answered by sykes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He apologized? You are the one who owes him an apology for going through all his stuff and just throwing it away.
2006-09-30 15:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by imnotbtami 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
MAYBE HE THOUGHT HE'D GOTTON RID OF THE PICTURES. OR HE MIGHT OF JUST WANTED TO KEEP THEM. THEY'RE GONE NOW AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
2006-09-30 15:39:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋