can your mother telling you your fat make you gain weight?

Question

Okay this is what I mean:
Throughout my life my mother has been trying to put me on diets, I can remember being in second grade and only allowed to eat 600 calories a day. (thankfully my dad put a stop to that) And I have seen pictures of myself at that age, I mean I was no stick but I definately wasnt a chunky kid....b4 or after all her diet schemes.
When I got older (jr. high, highschool) she was always telling me how fat I was and what a big *** I had (and i was 5'6" 135pounds, again NOT skinny...but definately not fat!) So I would ignore her as best I could, but it seemed the more she would tell me not to eat (like at all, she doesnt eat but like once everyother day btw) the more I would want to eat crap just to spite her. Is that weird or what? So now I am 19 and 160pounds....still 5'6". well I dont "blame" this on my mother, but I do feel like if she would have just left me alone i never would have developed this unhealthy obsession with food.

does this sound like I might have an eating disorder?

Answer 1

Over-eating and under eating are often associated with feeling of low self esteem and self image problems. I mean, most people wish they could change something about their bodies but don't obsess over it. What your mother did certainly did contribute to the issues you have with food. Instead of you feeling 'good enough' they way you are, she was wanting you to be something else. She tried to use food as the way to control you. She probably didn't do this on purpose but she did do it. My dad always said to me "guys don't date fat girls" That totally has had an impact on the way I live my life and look at food. I feel sad sometimes that so much of my life is spent obsessing over it. If I could let that go and just accept myself, I'm sure I would be much happier in my life.

Answer 2

It actually does. I am sorry your mom did that to you. Parents often don't realize how much their words hurt. (speaking for xp) Your disorder would be like the opposite of anorexia. You eat lots of food because you feel bad rather than not eating. I don't know the technical term for this, but I'm sure any doctor and/or psychologist could help you out on this.

Reading your weight (in the past), that is pretty average for your height, so I don't know why your mom would be so pushy about this. Is your mother a bigger woman herself? Perhaps she feels that she was trying to help you by making you starve and look better so you wouldn't get harrassed like she did. If she is a smaller woman, then the problem may be a control issue. She wanted to feel like she could control your weight since she could not have a grasp on anything else in life. Perfectionists also tend to strive for the 'perfect child' in every way, shape and form. Maybe she didn't even realize that she has brought this on you and only thought she was being a 'good mom'. Just a couple thoughts, I may be way off base. I wish I had more information to work off of.

It sounds like you need to get this resolved though, because your eating could cause you to spiral into even more weight gain and possible health issues. There's no need for that when you obviously have realized there is something going on here. I wish you luck in whatever you choose to do. =)

Answer 3

i'm not sure if there's such a condition as body dysmorphia by proxy, but i honestly think your mother has deep psychological problems, and severe insecurity, which she is playing out on you. she has a severely unhealthy relationship with food. its not to say your mom is a bad person, she thinks she is teaching you an important lesson, but her logic is too twisted. you must not listen to a word she says, you do not want to adopt her way of thinking or you will be unhappy.

the best thing i can suggest is arranging some behaivoiral therapy for your mom, your doctor should be able to help. if she won't agree to this, it will be hard, but you will have to make it very clear to her that you know your own mind, and you know you are not fat, no matter what she says. the important thing is not to let her wreck your self esteem: if you start thinking negative thoughts about yourself, try to catch yourself doing it, write it down, say 'this is my mother speaking' then burn it. i wish you the best of luck.

Answer 4

Sounds like your mom has a serious problem that she has passed on to you. At least you are aware and you can deal with the issue. Don't let food be an obsession. Eat when you are hungry and don't think about it the rest of the time. Good luck!!!

Answer 5

I think you are on the right track, knowing you have an unhealthy obsession with food and why. Now its up to you to change how you eat and drop the weight (if you want to). Then you can show your mother that if she just leaves you alone, you'll be okay.

Answer 6

Naturally kids want to rebell against their parents to spite them. Constant pressure from your mother can lower your self esteem and cause depression which in turn may make you eat more. This may be your way of coping to survive the constant mental/verbal abuse. Maybe you and your mother should seek family counseling and you can tell her how you really feel about this. If it seems your entire existence revolves around food and your weight then you should seek help.

Answer 7

II'm sorry about your whole sitaution..if you want to lose weight you have to be in the right state of mind, i dont know exactly how to help you in terms of your obsession with food-you might want to see a therapist to help you mentally become a healthier person. Your mother is the one with the eating disorder, but you, you might have an emotional eating problem.Do not starve yourself! when your healthy you are happy-so aim for that! Good luck!

Answer 8

If anyone tells you something negative it can affect you mentally, physically, and make it where you are trying to please everyone but yourself. I agree that seeing a therapist will help with the years of psychological damage that was done. I would consult your physician and he can best tell you what your weight should be for your height and help you to correctly find a nutritional program to help you get to that level. I myself was very tiny growing up and now I'm in my 40s and am about 40 pounds overweight and am really trying hard to lose it. I want to get to a size that pleases me and where I feel good. Do it for yourself and for no one else!!

Answer 9

Well, you are currently a bit overweight. And you are correct that your mother's nagging had the opposite effect. But now you know that. So pick a weight to have, and with longterm calorie management and excercise, go for it. Forget about the mother. When she nags, be calm and calmly tell her that her nagging is making things difficult.

Answer 10

I think your mom is mean. I'm sure she has some bad qualities, and you don't nag her about. Maybe you should start - give her a taste of her own medicine! You can eat anything you want they tell me, in moderation, but I LOVE JUNK FOOD !!!!!!!!!!So if she told me I was fat, she would be right!!! Ignore her until she changes her ways.