The "dad" see's him once every two months does not call him Send him a card or email we said he could call write on email we make sure he got it
When together I send money for lunch or a drink he won't pay (has a job)
Pays $500 a month to cover day care I paied the $20,000 hospital bill and cover him on insurance
I have full custody
The last time he spent a hour with him he acted up for 5 days wanted to fight cryed allot
His birthday is in two weeks I really don't want them to get together on his birthday so he won't be upset on such a special day
2006-09-30 14:30:52 · 12 answers · asked by aaricka 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
My son has a great group of male roles all around him..He has a Uncle that teaches him boy games and Grandfather that plays with him and teaches him basketball and bike riding. We are blessed with a company full of great guys who give him love in so many ways.
Why I ask I did not want to hurt him in anyway he will know his "sperm" dad it is important to him.
He is bright and happy I just needed to know if I was going inthe right direction
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH !!!!!!!!
I hope I can be as helpful as all of you
2006-09-30 15:58:03 · update #1
You were granted full custody. I think the judge might realize that you are the better parent. Follow your instincts and do what is best for YOUR child. Tell the father if he wants to see him on his b'day, then he can stop by and visit him (supervised of course) for a few minutes. If you are having a b'day party that day, it might make it easier if the dad shows up and there are other, happy people there...the distraction of the party might help your child not "act out" when dad is gone. I'd place a bet that he doesn't show up. Your kid. Your custody. Your terms. For all you dads that think this is harsh, remember, this guy may pay his money but doesn't give the kid the time of day... not even an email or card? C'mon...money doesn't buy trust and love... period.
2006-09-30 14:37:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He is your sons dad and he might not be perfect. Nobody is. I would let his dad come and be part of whatever you have planned for that day, under the circumstance that your ex will know how to conduct himself. But you should be there and stick to your original plans. He should be a part of your sons life and I think it is a good sign that he wants to be with your son. Can he be trusted? Until you are sure, you or someone you trust should always be there with them. Until your son is old enough to make his own decisions. To your son acting up for 5 days after 1 hour with his dad, have you ever heard of the terrible 2's, they are not always or only 2 when they go through that. I wouldn't put to much stock in that yet, at his age. Don't deny your son the possibility of a relationship with his father, even if it is a weak one. You might regret it one day, when your son is old enough to blame you! Unless your ex is really so irresponsible, but if that was the fact, you probably wouldn't have asked the Question, you would have known what to do!!!
2006-09-30 21:57:22 · answer #2 · answered by jordanrmpb 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like you have a GREAT HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS AND THAT'S GREAT AND it also sounds like you don't need anyone on here to really tell you what you already know is best for YOUR CHILD. IF IT WERE UP TO ME AND I HAD FULLLLLLLL CUSTODY ALL THOSE THINGS WERE GOING ON I WOULD JUST HAVE TO TELL THE MAN NO NOT UNTIL YOU START HELPING RAISE HIM IN SOME WAY. If he won't help raise TELL YOURSELF WHY SHOULD GET PRIVILEDGES OF DOING MUCH ANYTHING ELSE? I think all it is if he see the child it then he might think that he has nothing to feel quilty about and really and TRULY HE DOES WHEN HE DIDN'T SUPPLY ANY OF THE CHILDS NEED THRU THE MONTHS OR YRS AND I KNOW THIS CAUSE.... I AM GRANDMA AND HAVE P.O.A. = POWER OF ATTORNEY OVER HIM. SOOOOOOO WHY beat yourself to peices over these when you really have already made up mind and THEN AND IF IN FACT YOU HAVE STICK TO WHATEVER DECISION YOU HAVE MADE AND DON'T CHANGE IT . NOT YOU , HIM AND OR ESPECIALLY THE CHILD. !
2006-09-30 21:48:03 · answer #3 · answered by dixieprayerlady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I 'm going through a divorce right now and I have my kids with me all the time so I know what it's like. I make him take them the Sat. after their b-day so they can be home to play with their presents and be with the people that love them 24/7, not just when they have the time. If he doesn't like it then he can start showing some responsibility and help out a little more.
2006-09-30 21:42:23 · answer #4 · answered by Meadow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God bless you and don't think twice about telling him you already have concrete plans for your son's birthday that do not include HIM. There is nothing worse than a deadbeat dad. It would be better if they would just stay the hell away rather than drop in & out of their kid's lives whenever it suits THEM, while the children are confused and sad and you have to deal with the consequences of these visits. Been there and done that and put my foot down for my child's sake.
2006-09-30 21:38:32 · answer #5 · answered by fearslady 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to encourage a relationship with your child and his father. Thats whats right for your son.......it may not be whats right for your sons father but its whats right for your son.
Or ask your sons father to give up his parental rights and step completly out of your sons life!
Both you and your childs father have a responsibility to your child. Soooooooooo..
Why are you paying for your ex- to take your son to lunch?
Why are did you pay for all of the hosp. bill?
Why do you cover all his insurance coverage?
Send an invitation to your sons father, to invite him to the get togther you are having for your son! Tell him that you have made plans already if he would like to see his son he will come!
Set some rules, go by the visitation established in your court order!
Tell your sons father to step up or step out!
He must get to know his son on a regular bases, if he is to have the child every Saturday or whatever.........then ask him what time can you drop the child off with him on Saturday morning?
I would give him six months to be compliant with visitation if he can't related to his job, ask if another day would work better. If he still can't keep up with visitation then ask him to step out of your sons life.
Ask one of your brothers, or father or another trusted male family member to be your sons male figuar until you find a man (if that's what you want) that's willing to be a father to your son!
Even the smallest part your sons father shows to your son, by not being responsible in the nurturing part, not keeping his word to the child is worse than him stepping completely out and saying " I am not a responsible enough of a person to be molding the mind of a child"
He needs to put up or shut up completly!
So do you! We as women will demand a man to pay child-support but rarely do we demand them to be a at least a regular Father! Not the greatest father, but at least make regular visits, calls, ect. We women also need to not detor that!
Yes as it stands your son should not spend great amounts of time with your son..........he must first show him regular visits first! Then work up to longer visits!
The only thing that should keep you from allowing him contact with his son is if he is abusive to him, or engages in activties that would endanger him!
2006-09-30 22:33:21 · answer #6 · answered by pirate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is what happens when you can't stay together. It really doesn't matter what he pays or you paid, he is still the child's father. You have no right to take his dad away from him.
If you try to keep the child from his dad, you will have one angry kid on your hands eventually. So either way, he will be messed up. I wish we would think about these things before we decide the relationship is disposable.
2006-09-30 21:42:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
How about sperm donor (aka "dad") come to your place or a mutual place for a b-day get together. I wouldn't let him have him for the day or even alone but you did creat this child together so maybe you both should get to share the celebration of his birth together.
2006-09-30 21:36:44 · answer #8 · answered by buttons799 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
he best sernoa to have peace of mind is dont let him be a part of the part this time it is for family memembers who have sense;
Just ignore ok with Blondie this party u and the can have a seperate party, It wiill be peaceful
2006-09-30 21:42:25 · answer #9 · answered by blondie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what are u really saying here? i can see why u and who is cold as ice let your baby daddy have him for 1/2 of the day
2006-09-30 21:41:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋