I think my mom had BPD....?

Question

I think my mom has borderline personality disorder. She lies about me to other family members, and even tells my friends lies about me. And I have had people say that she acts like she is jealous of me, not like a mother but a jealous sister or something. She has manipulated situations to make me look bad infront of my father, and he always takes her side and believes her. It just baffles me that a grown women would lie so openly and obviously.
When I confronted her about the emotional abuse she informed me that she had never done such things and also that she has never called me "stupid,ugly,dumb....ect." She said that I obviously think these things about myself and have "imagined" her saying them. (BTW these are things she has done and said to me my whole life!) I then called my brother(whom she is also abusive to) and asked him if he has heard her say these things to me, OF COURSE he said yes. And was also shocked she would try and make me think it was all in my head.

Does this sound like BPD to you? How should I cope with this?

Answer 1

Sounds to me as if she is over jealous of you.Some mothers want to be like their daughter and will cause problems for the child to make herself look good.This is a toxic relationship and seems to me that you need to tell her how you feel and possibly break the ties that bind.You need to think about yourself.You deserve to be treated better by your parent.My mom always told me she wished I was never born and use to hit her stomach to get rid of me.Well SURPRISE I'm here.I have 9 other siblings and she treated them like gold.She was jealous that I was a daddy's girl,and she took her anger out on me.Even the day my dad died,he had a picture of only me at his bedside.She never told me she loved me and even when she died she lived with me to the end and none of the other siblings was there.She always cried for them.Even as they laid her to rest,I was yelling "bring her back and I'll do better". I am in counseling and have many mental illnesses related to the way my mother treated me.Please end this toxic relationship,or you may end up like me.

Answer 2

It's impossible to diagnose someone without meeting them. The things you describe could be from a number of problems, some of the from a personality disorder, some from substance abuse, some from a trauma history. No matter what, though, it sounds like your mom is suffering, and causing you to suffer.

The bottom line is that this has and is having an impact on you. You may benefit from talking with a therapist about your experience, and during the course of counseling you can develop some strategies that work for you in dealing with your mom's difficulties. Not every solution fits with every family, so try to find someone who will listen to the specifics of your concerns.

Answer 3

The behaviors you described could also fit under several types of Bi-Polar Disorder. There is a need to control and manipulate the people around them through their words and actions. Jealousy is often an issue too. It sounds like your Mom may have some serious issues, but don't be too anxious to diagnose her. Even if you suggest a mental illness as the reason for her behavior and/ or emotional concerns, she's not likely to accept it. You may just need to learn to deal with it in your own way.

Answer 4

Yes, it really does. You didn't say how old you are. If you are in school, try talking to your guidance counselor, they are there for you to talk to and might have some really good suggestions. I have worked with many people who have bpd, and trust me it will wear you out trying to get through to them. The only thing you can really do is build a support system, counselors, friends, and close family members, clergyman if you have one, and in this way at least you won't lose your mind dealing with it. Try finding things to do outside the home that help to work off your frustrations, dance lessons, a sport, a gym membership, you know, good places where you can go. I would definitely work on my future goals of saving money and going off to college or getting a job and moving a little distance away. Don't shut her out of your life, but don't let her hurt you. I highly doubt that she will ever seek help, so you must save your own sanity. You are nobody's target hon. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

You don't say how old you are. I got the same thing, and I actually hated my Mother when I was in my teens. I couldn't wait to leave home and start work, which is what I did at 16 - worked full time for 15 years straight. Now that I am older, and have had children, I am closer to my Mother, quite close in fact. I put her behavior down to her getting older and feeling as tho she was losing me. Your Mother could hate herself for doing and saying the things she does, and deep down she probably hates herself for it. You could have a mother daughter talk, and see what happens. Good luck. Your brother could be good ammunition, the two of you could approach her together - or have one of those family meetings.

Answer 6

I'm not sure. But my mom is EXACTLY the same way.

It was uncanny, my Mom does the things and acts the same way your's does.

It may be BPD, but it also sounds like it might me some kind of form of bi-polar too.

well, Godspeed either way.

Peace.

Answer 7

tell her precisely what you in simple terms wrote,tell her the way you sense.Self practice as a lot as you could on the ailment.possibly the added you're conscious of it the added a lot less complicated issues will be between you and your mom.possibly you could attempt going to an section psychological well being middle and examine with them about it there,then possibly through that they could help you with your mom.

Answer 8

Discuss it with the school counselor, to determine the best plan to get away from her. She probably won't stop anytime soon. And it is abuse for you to have to be there and listen. If your brother is old enough, and is willing, see if he would willing to become your guardian under the law.