Say that you've been with someone for years, always trusted them and they'd never let you down. Then one day, no matter how it happends, it comes to your attention that they've been cheating on you. How would you (or did you) react to that?
2006-09-30 14:22:09 · 46 answers · asked by Bitterly Sweet 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would just take a breath and find my center. Go for a long walk and get clear about my feelings.
Then I would talk to my partner and ask them what's up.
I think it's important to listen to them and their side of the story before making any snap judgements.
After I had more information, one way or the other, I would talk about what my needs were in the relationship and listen to what their needs were. If we could work it out, I'd stay together, if not, I would part and move on.
2006-09-30 14:25:38 · answer #1 · answered by a_blue_grey_mist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is in my book of no-forgives... or at least no-forgets to be more precise. I can eventually forgive the guy but I never forget what they did.
I find it incredibly embarrassing to be cheated on. I have been there. I cut off the person until I can sort out my life. I leave in very little room for someone to come back and butter me up with I will never do it agains" and "baby I am sorry I was drunk" or things like that. I found I had to refocus my own life and how I thought I should be treated. I dont think any one deserves to be cheated on, no matter how lame you are. There is always a way out of most relationships.
I would take it a day at a time, leave no room for being a "wuss" and if you decide to take the cheater back then have some ground rules. Because the trust is gone... thats why the forget part is always there. You can eventually forgive perhaps. But it is a long process.
2006-09-30 14:26:52 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh no. From the way you have written your question, I would assume that this is the case for you.
If this is the case I am so very sorry for you. You must be shattered. To have your trust and your love treated so dis honourably- must be heart breaking for you.
I feel for you and my heart goes out to you.
To answer your question- I don't think there is a right way to respond to something like that.
Obviously the relationship is over and the other person should be expunged from your life compleatly. Retain good memories but clearly the relationship is over and cannot be saved.
The pure answer to your question I guess then is "poorly".
I'd cry, yell, rant, rave, etc. The worst thing you can do, short of trying to keep the other person around is do nothing.
If you sit on something like this, one day you'll explode and it will be un controllable and messy.
Let your emotions out and process this with the help of friends and family. Don't be affraid however to take yourself off to be alone if you feel the need!
Good luck darling- I hope all will be well for you.
The Iceman.
2006-09-30 14:29:04 · answer #3 · answered by The Iceman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm not keen on this at all. if people are too cowardly to break it off with the first person before seeing the second person then they aren't worthy of being with me.
married or not, it doesn't matter, if two people make a commitment to each other then they should abide by this and treat the other with respect and totally honesty. if things aren't working out then say so, coz it might be fixable, which is much better than ruining it for everyone concerned.
all the best, coz i know how hurtful and damaging this can be, and it will take a lot of inner strength to solve this one way or another.
2006-09-30 14:27:17 · answer #4 · answered by pugsbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be devastated. But don't try to reconcile things because if he is cheating on you then he truly does not care about you, and you deserve more than that. A poll in 2006 found that 25 percent of married males have sexual relations outside of the marriage and only 6 percent of females do. But hey girl, that leaves 75 percent of decent males out there looking for YOU.
2006-09-30 14:25:50 · answer #5 · answered by angie_adie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm... well, there's always the option of the Maury show or maybe Jerry Springer?
But I wont jump the gun because rumors are a ***** but if I knew for sure, had evidence, seen it with my own eyes, either by following him or hiring a privet detective I would leave his *** no matter what excuse or how many yrs together. Once a cheater always a cheater. A woman never forgetts.
2006-09-30 14:28:19 · answer #6 · answered by Dahlias 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like no one can really say what they would do because they dont know how they would feel if they have never experienced the situation. There has been plenty of times where I said that if a male ever did this and this then I would do this and this to him, but if they did that very thing then I didnt do what I thought I would...you know?...I have seen this no only in myself, but just people in general. You cant say what you would do in a given situation if you have never been in that situation before.
2006-09-30 14:37:48 · answer #7 · answered by chocolate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very good question and I hope it didn't happen to you (Yeah, I know...asking for a friend) but getting to the question...it would tear me apart.
I've been faithful to my wife for over 17 years. The chances have come up and the temptation is real but I remember something...my vows. If I ever found out my wife was cheating, I would be hurt so deeply that she was and ask for a divorce. You can forgive but never forget.
2006-09-30 14:28:44 · answer #8 · answered by Magicman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I would find out that the father of my 2 kids had cheated on me ...3 days or even 2 years ago ...our relation ship would be done right away ...I will never deal with cheaters anymore because they dont change and they are just not worth it ....
2006-09-30 14:24:38 · answer #9 · answered by tinkerbelle_oceane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to be respected and cherished by a person you love and trust. An affair shows their lack of ability to be that person for you.
From experience I would say it's a clear indication of something wrong in the relationship, or wrong with the cheater. If someone did that to me now, I would instantly take the attitude that there are plenty of fish in the sea & I'm worth going out & finding a person who will treat me the way I want to be treated.
In my search for a new partner, I would surround myself with loving friends & family members, who care about me & who would offer encouragement, support & feedback. I would partake in hobbies & activities that made me feel empowered & happy (and also introduce me to new people). And I would read some books on relationships to give myself knowledge & insight on the subject.
Some great relationship books are:
"Are You the One for Me" by Barbara DeAngelis
http://www.barbaradeangelis.com/cart/addprod.asp?productid=297
The "Mars and Venus" books by John Gray
http://www.marsvenus.com/xcart/home.php?cat=4
"In the Meantime" by Iyanla Vanzant
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0684841363?v=glance
"Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood
http://www.amazon.com/Women-Who-Love-Too-Much/dp/0671733419
2006-09-30 14:58:07 · answer #10 · answered by greengirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋