Why so much pressure to push our babies/children into adulthood?

Question

It seems our society is pushing us to make are babies into tiny children. No bottle after six months (yea, yea dental reasons), early potty training, hurry up and talk... Did we turn out so bad that we have to push our babies into adulthood in a hurry or is it a consequence of the instant gratification generation?

Answer 1

I very much disagree with Lindsey........your job is not to make your son a independent adult. BUT.......to nurture your son in a physical, emotional and financial manor that moves them into a secure, physically and emotionally happy and healthy adult.
The sucking need of a child is just as important emotionally as nutrition is physically, pushing a child into doing a task that they are not emotionally or physically capable of doing to speed up your duties as apparent is not healthy!
Yes, if you see your child is able to go threw milestones faster than some.........if its not a sign of neglect which also pushes children to learn things faster..........as well as teaches them not to trust! Then by all means encourage that!
Toilet training can not happen until a child reaches an age of awareness..........some its 18months, some 3 years.......depending on that individual child. But to say that you can potty train a child prior to one year old............is insanity
And I would like to see it!? But to try to force this or punish a child for 2 years during toilet training its child abuse!
I also need to be quite myself .......before I say something that may get me kicked off yahoo....answers..
But Lindsey is very wrong! She has a irrational concept. I will see her children in my office someday!

Answer 2

It is a purely selfish tendency. It affords the adult to "leave" the child in the care of others. The sooner they are potty trained, the sooner they can go to child care, the sooner they are ripped from the breast, the sooner we (and others) can feed the child via cold spoon.
I feel we should spend the time with our babies, turn off all interrupters, like TV etc, so as to focus better on the child. You cannot fix a child that has been rushed away from its mother.... it is best to mother a child until the child lets you know it is done drinking from the breast or bottle, when it is ready for the potty (they start telling you they did, or need to "go") when they start showing interest in finger foods, these children grow up more settled and more secure about the world and humans in general.

Answer 3

Society changes with style. In the 80s we wore leg warmers,and now my 15 year old says they are in style now and wants a pair.

My ex-husband is 57. When we got married, his mother gave me his baby book to save for our first child. In this book, was advice on how to raise your child and some of it was even funnier than the way people push our children now.

In this book, you are supposed to start putting your child on a "chamber pot" at the same times of day every day by the time they are 4 months old!!! Of course you have to hold them there, because they can't even sit up on their own until they're 6 months old.

When my first child was born, 20 yrs ago, they said don't push the potty training, they will do it when they're ready. 3 years old was perfectly fine for potty training. Now they're pushing the early potty training again. Do whatever you and your pediatrician feel is best for your child and don't worry about what others think.

Answer 4

I actually disagree. I think people are trying to baby their children for far too long. I think we doubt the capabilities of kids. I think it's stupid to wait until a child is three years old to potty train. I think if a child can hold a bottle--let them hold a sippy cup. I think people expect to baby their children all the way until they are in school. Why don't people expect more out of their children? I think that is what people are lacking. I think kids need expectations to feel confident. Maybe not at six months or a year but kids need to know right from wrong.

I'm sorry--I refuse to have my son (seven months) still on a bottle. He can hold both--why should he keep the bottle?

I refuse to wait until my child is "ready" to potty train. I care for my cousin and he has never been "ready." I started caring for him at 4 years old. He wasn't "ready" but I got him potty trained. If my son isn't "ready" by 2 years--on the toilet he goes!

I will discipline (not spank) my son and cousin in public. I will tell a seven month old "no." He needs to learn right from wrong.

I will encourage both my kids (cousin and son) to excel. I will encourage my son to walk--he's already standing. What's wrong with encouragement.

When would someone want to stop babying a child? I don't see the difference in seven months, two years, five years, twelve years, or even eighteen years.

My mom told me once that my main job as a parent was to make my son independent. From the day a child is born he is learning skills that will help him move to the next level--ending in adulthood. So my goal as a parent is to make my son and cousin independent people. I started this the minute I had both of them.

My parents did this with me as their parents did with them. This isn’t a new trend. I believe it’s actually the “babying” of children that is a “new” trend. I never heard of a child at four NOT being potty trained back in the day.

Answer 5

you are absolutely correct.
although I have never heard of getting a child off of a bottle at 6 months... 12 months ok... 15 months it should happen and be history by 18 months but really... someone told you to stop using a bottle at 6 months?

I sometimes think that we (society/moms) use our children as an extention of ourselves and what they achieve we credit ourselves. Oh sure Susie is walking already, she can count to ten... she is potty training ahead of schedule... this must mean I'm a great person, a great mom.
I just had this conversation today over lunch with my best friend... we discussed the mom debates with which others have tried to engage us and sometimes leave us feeling dejected. you know whose kid is falling behind, whose kid is ahead of schedule. I told her "you know what? it doesn't matter if he/she is talking/walking/ doing algebra already... they are all going to underage drink together and will we be bragging about that with one another? Where will those overachievers be then?" Ha!

You are right though... we have to set our own timetables (like they should definately be potty trained before they go to college because it is hard to find a roommate to do that ) :)

enjoy your little one.

Answer 6

I totally agree with you! I think it is ridiculus. Babies need to be babies. Not to mention, when they get older, you will wish they were young again. I have a 2 year old, (who by the way is not quite yet ready to fully potty train--and that is ok) and I cherish every moment with her. Everytime she bumps herself, if she needs a hug she gets it, if she just wants to cuddle with Mommy, that is what we do. She still has her soother at night (which EVERYONE comments on) and actually she is starting on her own to get rid of it.
Let your kids be kids!!!!!!
Thank you for bringing it up!

Answer 7

That is my feeling.
My sons are 19 months. Now, that they are walking and drinking with a cup, everyone asks "when are you going to potty train them" and have you thought about putting them into activities. They are children. Before I know it, they will be in college, I don't want to rush it anymore than it is.

Answer 8

It is a disturbing trend. I am not old (30 with 11 and 5 yr old kids) but I am seeing this behavior more and more often. My friend whos son is 5 months old told me her sister in law told her her baby might be learning disabled because he would'nt play with the "Little Leaps" she bought him.!!Loosen up people, enjoy watching children grow at their own pace. When they talk and walk and feed themselves they still need a lot of care, its not easier !

Answer 9

I LOVE your question, as i often wonder the same thing. I think it is very sad that our culture/society is this way. They grow and change so quickly as it is ,I don't want them to grow up any faster. If people would only stop their fast paced lives to look through their childs eyes for just a moment, i think our world would be a much better place.
Thanks for the question ;)
What is the rush for???

Answer 10

You are so right! I say let children be children! We only get to be a kid once and for a very short time. Let it be fun! Don't these parents realize they only have this time once and in a few short years their kids won't want to admit they even have parents. We should enjoy it while it lasts!