ok so my hubby might be getting out of the army earlier than we planned like say almost 8 yrs earlier. My problem is that he's ready to get out and move on as a civilian ,, I however am completely freaked out. I don't want to give up the Military life, I don't want to be just another working stiffs wife,, I like having something to feel passionate about,, something to be proud of,, a group to belong too. I like living on post,, I like crying with pride when the National Anthem plays becuase I KNOW what it means. I am not ready to do give any of it up.
He might be getting out becuase of some trouble he is in,, am I completely shallow if I want to leave him becuase he's getting out?
Please don't be mean,, and ugly,, my hubby and I are ok, but the trouble he got into is not like him and there's alot about him that has changed over the past year or so. Anyone???
2006-09-30 13:05:41 · 13 answers · asked by B V 5 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
thank you so much for all your suggestion,, not that I really think anyone comes back and re reads this stuff but,, I would join,, been thinking about it but can't do to medical issues,, yes they are trying to kick him out, so it's not trouble he can just face up too and get over,, NO I did not marry him just becuase he was in the military but YES it was a huge factor,, it was who he was,, it was what he was,, I am sorry that some of you don't understand the betrail I feel from him. It's alot to deal with. This is not the person I married or fell in love with.
2006-10-01 02:23:59 · update #1
oops PS,, for those of you going through this also,, I am sooo sorry,, and I wish there was something more I could say,, other than Email me sometime and maybe we can chat about it.
baby_girl_xoxo4u@yahoo.com
2006-10-01 02:24:49 · update #2
i'm reading your message and i thought for a minute "did i write this?" my husband and i are going thru the same thing. well almost. he has been active army for 14 years and he wants to get out of the army. he's tired of the life and thinks the army is holding him back. i feel like he should finish till retirement. he's put so much time in already. i'm not ready to be a civilian. in fact, i've never been one. not ready to be poor, deal with civilian health care and all that. i enjoy our community, our benefits and my kids are growing up with the best opportunities.
2006-09-30 13:32:41 · answer #1 · answered by haikuhi2002 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
1
2016-12-23 05:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you join the Army. You can still feel the same way you feel without him being in the Army.
For whatever reason he is getting out you should support him. Did you only marry him because he was in the Army? You said he's getting out because of some trouble. Does that mean he's getting kicked out? If so, that sounds kind of like your kicking him when he's down. You are his wife and you are supposed to be with him through the ups and downs. If you can't do that then maybe he's better off without you anyway.
I'm not trying to be mean or ugly, I just think you are putting too much onto your husband.
2006-09-30 15:33:44 · answer #3 · answered by kiara481 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, I am trying really hard to take a deep breath and not say anything nasty.
I am both in the military and a military wife. You do NOT know what the Nation Anthem is like, if you are so into the military life style then you join. My husband and I are both currently military but we have talked about one or both or us get out. The military is just a phase in our lives, not our entire lives. We serve because we feel strongly about it. Not because our spouse does... OK that was a little sarcastic...sorry.
Military is not an easy job it takes a hell of a lot out of you. It will change a person. Leave him if you want to leave him, honestly that is between the two of you, but don't leave him because he left the military, that is crazy. And YES that is shallow!
I wish you all the luck in the world and I apologize if I hurt your feeling, but I tried as hard as I could to be nice!
2006-09-30 13:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by summer 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am married to a former Marine (he got out because he got into some trouble too). At first I thought the same thing as you. "Oh no... I dont want to NOT be a military wife. I like belonging to a group of women that are different than *normal* women." I had friends who were all in military relationships. I liked the benefits and everything. I wanted to live on base and I liked seeing my husband in uniform and feeling so proud of him. I actually for the first time in my life felt extremely PROUD when I heard the national anthem (like you said).
But, its been over a year since he has been out now... and to tell you the truth, I am glad he is out. I don't have to worry about his safety... about him getting deployed. We are going to have our first child - a girl - next month. He will be there for her birth. He will be there to help me raise her. He has a great job and makes more money now than he did in the Marines. Granted, I did lose all my "military friends"... which is honestly, the worst part of the whole thing. I still have contact with one of them, but its weird talking to her now because we just aren't as connected anymore. But, everything will work out. I promise you.
Good luck.
2006-09-30 13:14:28 · answer #5 · answered by Ashley P 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally undertsnad what you're syaing. My husband is in the Army and I don;t know how I'd live without being a military wife. But just because your husband isn't active duty does not mean you still can't be patriotic and support the military the way you do now. You can still join military supporter groups, who as you might know, still mean and do a lot for military spouses. Best of luck.
And please pay no attention to the nasty things people are saying. To the woman who is in the military GOOD FOR YOU. some people are not cut out to be in the military or they CAN'T be. I myself, would have loved ot be in the military, but I have medical conditions keeping me out, and now a family to raise while my husband proudly serves.
2006-09-30 14:58:00 · answer #6 · answered by Ali 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
t sounds as though your husband would want to stay if this problem were behind him. The problem with serious issues is, they go into your service record. Once there, advancement is difficult. Without advancement, your husband won't be recommended for continued service, once this enlistment is up.
Unless he is prepared to face up to this problem and hopefully have the charges expunged, it may not be up to you or him whether he stays or goes.
Explore the possibility of facing the music. If that isn't a consideration, plan your next step, whatever that may be. Good luck! One thing we all faced at one time in our lives, is separation from active duty. It's simply a part of life.
2006-09-30 13:21:09 · answer #7 · answered by briang731/ bvincent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate. I was in the military for 4 years and the biggest mistake I ever made was getting out. I am also very passionate about our troops and I am proud that I wore the uniform. I don't think you are selfish or shallow at all. I understand. Talk to your husband. It seems like he made the commitment, now he needs to see it through.
Good Luck!
2006-09-30 13:15:40 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you and your husband were "OK" then I don't think you'd be posting this.
It sounds like you only like being married to him because he's in the military.
You either love him or you don't.
Occupation shouldn't matter.
And I've been married to a regular guy in the regular world - and now I'm married to my hubby in the military. Civilian life is fine. My husband now is finally making what I made way back in '97 before we married...I had great insurance benefits as well.
What I wouldn't do to be able to live close to my folks - so they can see our boys grow - like they were able to with my oldest.
You'll have that opportunity now.
2006-09-30 13:43:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him get out, and have a taste of the civilian life, when he realizes it is not the same then he will join again. I am a military wife and I have seen all kinds of soldiers getiing out and getting back in. As of you, you, should remain truly to your wedding bows.
2006-09-30 15:41:41 · answer #10 · answered by Lilly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋