If someone in the past has hurt you, what does it take for someone who is interested in you now to establish your trust? Is it patience? Is it communication?
What do you think?
2006-09-30 11:24:26 · 15 answers · asked by Mintygoodness1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I meant someone NEW is interested.
2006-09-30 11:27:36 · update #1
Good question (finally...)
You have to let those who hurt in the past go.
And live your life and move on.
I know this is easier said than done, but you'll have to do it.
If you go through life having people win your trust, you'll end up losing a lot of people who can potentially become a great friend.
No one is going to spend any time trying to win you over.
If you put up that defensive/insecure wall, no one is going to try to climb it.
Life is too short to dwell in the past, no matter how much it hurts.
2006-09-30 11:26:13 · answer #1 · answered by The Mac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here we all have relatives and friends who we spend our lifetime with and there are always ways of getting back together over time and time again despite erroneous behavior. Why cant it be that simple with a love interest? I dont know. Maybe because we dont try hard enough and that person is 'just another fish in the sea' among many...so they are tossed out. If this person who hurt you truly has an interest in you for long term, it seems that they'd jump through hoops to communicate if they could. Both people have to make an effort. Space in between, nice communications and loyalty to each other builds retrust over time.
2006-09-30 18:31:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both communication and patience. And time. Be honest with yourself and the new someone about what/how things happened in the past. Try not to take out someone else's evil on the new someone.
2006-09-30 18:30:11 · answer #3 · answered by andrew m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it's more patience to me. Patience shows their willing to wait for something and it'll really show how much they are interested in you. It can also show that if they're patient they might take the sexual part of a relationship slower as well which is good. Relationships can go down because sex is rushed.
2006-09-30 18:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by hearts99992000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes complete understanding of where you're coming from. Sit down and talk about it. Tell him what worries you, what he need to do to make you feel safe, etc. Sometimes it can take a lot of work, but it's not impossible! Above all, remember that there is nothing wrong with you and that bad relationships that leave both people needing time to heal is are not uncommon.
2006-09-30 18:27:48 · answer #5 · answered by akflame81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is called TIME. If you are still hurt from before you should not be dating anyone for a while, but if you are interested, then take your time and get to know this person well. If he really cares for you he will understand. Who knows, he may be worth your while.
Mr. M on "damaged goods."
2006-09-30 18:29:16 · answer #6 · answered by Humberto M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nmm i was hurt badly and all i can say is it takes much more time and patience when trying to trust . just relax and stay together keep seeing each other and stop worrying will i get hurt or trust him just enjoy and if you desire tthis to work just hang on to him and itll happen . your wanting this too badly and time isnt a bad thing just wait . good luck
2006-09-30 18:30:59 · answer #7 · answered by sigmond 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All that, and more. Time is a big healer; give it time. While doing so, communicate. . .verbally, that is!
Don't fall for lines you know to be not true. You know who you are and what you look like so when he starts making all those "'come on baby" remarks, it's time to ask the big question; does he just want my body?"
2006-09-30 18:30:14 · answer #8 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They need to be sweet, be honest, and make you feel safe.
Four years ago that is how my present guy brought me out of my pain. I never thought I could go through a relationship again. And here we are 4 years later with a beautiful baby girl and gonna get married. It can happen.
2006-09-30 18:28:37 · answer #9 · answered by eagfan5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both.It also takes honesty on your part to let the new person know how you've been hurt and it will take caring patience on the new presons part to help you through it.
2006-09-30 18:28:42 · answer #10 · answered by willis_is_40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋