Im working on a SATURDAY, and I really want to hear some good jokes to keep me laughing. Have any? Share. I'll start off:
Why does Micheal Jackson like 27 yr olds?
Because there are 27 of them. lol
2006-09-30 10:36:56 · 30 answers · asked by Brittney 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Late one night at the insane asylum, one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another patient asked, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "Because God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!"
2006-09-30 10:39:48 · answer #1 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Yea, I am at work on a SATURDAY too. So I am going to read the jokes that are posted to help me have a better day. Plus, I am here all by myself and I hate to be all by myself. I am scared.
2006-09-30 17:38:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
1) Why didn't the cannibal eat the comedian?
Because he tasted funny.
2) Sign Language
A man and his wife were doing yard work outside. The wife goes inside to take a shower. The husband was still outside and wanted to rake up the leaves on his front lawn, but he couldn't find the rake. He yells to his wife, who looks out the upstairs bathroom window, "Where's the damn rake?" Unfortunately she can't hear him. So he decides to point to his eye (meaning I), point to his knee (meaning need), and then makes raking motions.
She has no idea what he means and yells, "What?" So he goes through the whole routine again. She nods, this time, like she understands what he's trying to say and, then, points to her eye, points to her left breast, points to her a-s-s, and points to her crotch.
Her husband is totally confused (and somewhat aroused), so he goes into the house, runs up the stairs, and leans his head around the corner. "What did you say?" he asks. She replies, "Eye, left tit, behind, the bush."
2006-09-30 17:49:54 · answer #3 · answered by ♪ ♫ ☮ NYbron ☮ ♪ ♫ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well honey I had to work today and I was bored, So I stripped down and ran through the store naked,scared a lot of the customers but I had a great time.. I'm 63 years old and had a blast.. AND I've still got my job?? go figure..I work for Walgreens. lol, Hope this helped a little.
2006-09-30 17:48:10 · answer #4 · answered by GreenEYED Beauty 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Who has a house right next to Walt Disney? Micheal Jackson because he like to meet all the kids.LOL
2006-09-30 17:41:37 · answer #5 · answered by ilovedogsandcats17 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
thats funny... okay
A little girl in the garden just finished patting the last bit of mud down
her neighbour pops his head over the fence and says "hey hanna what ya doing there"
hanna replies "my gold fish died this morning so im having to bury it"
"oh im sorry to hear that " says her neighbour " but thats a rather big hole for such a little fish"
getting up from her knees and rubbing the mud off her clothes she replies
"thats because your cat ate my gold fish!"
2006-09-30 17:43:11 · answer #6 · answered by sammydeea 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
What does Michael Jackson have in common with K-mart? Boy's underware half off!
2006-09-30 17:39:14 · answer #7 · answered by Feathery 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
englishman,scotsman+irishman get captured by bunch of cannibals.
the chief goes to the englishman+says "you have very good skin,make excellent canoe,any last requests?" the englishman asks for one night of sex with a beautiful virgin.he is granted the request+is led to a tent to enjoy it.
chief does the same thing to the scotsman who asks for the same thing+the strongest drink the cannibals have.
his request is granted+he too is led off to a tent to enjoy himself.
the chief asks the same question of the irishman and is surprised when he asks for a fork!
the irishman is given the fork.the chief asks him "you could have anything you wanted,why choose a fork?"
all of a sudden the irishman starts to stab himself all over his body with the fork,shouting "your not making a canoe out of me you heathen b******s!!!!"
2006-09-30 19:50:45 · answer #8 · answered by bigbadbald33 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a vat of peanut butter?
A c0ck that sticks to the roof of your mouth...
2006-10-04 10:20:58 · answer #9 · answered by Offended? Aww Have a Cookie! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This one takes a while to understand sometimes, but when you get it, it is hilarious on so many different levels.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
2006-09-30 17:39:30 · answer #10 · answered by Teacher Man 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋