What is the appropriate age to tell my daughter about sex?

Question

I have a 9 year old daughter who thinks she's 18 as I'm sure many do. She is very smart and asks a lot of questions, especially when she hears things regarding sex from tv or movies. If she asks a question that is inappropriate I tell her she is too young to know about such things yet. Other things I tell her in a simple way. It's hard to avoid the topic when even things like episodes of Roseanne (rated TV-G) that she loves to watch talk about things like birth control and having sex and getting pregnant. I want her to be informed at the right age, but I also don't want to tell her too early. I'm sure she'll learn things from her friends, but is that really the best way to let it happen? Any experience on the matter?

Answer 1

There really is not "right" age to tell your children in my opinion. I am 20 years old and my mom had the talk with me when I was around 11 or 12 (though they tell you about it in school before this) Being that a nine year old is only about 4th or 5th grade I think it woulden't be neccesary. However if she asks then you should definetely talk to her about it, because if she dosen't find out from you she's going to find out from a less reputable source (boys, friends, etc) who are far less educated then a mother with experience and it might eventually form some preconceptions and expectations from her friends which will put her under peer pressure.

If she never asks then wait until she is about 12 or starts her period and then have the talk with her when it is most important. My mother talked to me about it before my friends could push there ideals about it on me and therefore I stayed much safer and to this day am very responsible and moralistic about sex. I think you will know when the time is right.

Good luck!

Answer 2

You should start when your children are very young. As they ask questions you should answer them as simple and to the point as possible. If they ask for more then add what they seem to need. Telling a child that they are too young to know doesn't do anything but make them more curious and they will get information from their friends that may not be very reliable. There are childrens books that you can get and if you sit them down and read it with them it gives you both an opening to ask or answer questions.
Children should understand about sex just like they should understand about preditors, just because they know something doesn't mean they are going to go out and try it. Telling them about sex protects your children not harms them, its like anything else knowledge is power. Nothing your child asks you is inappropriate. The more comfortable they are talking to you about things without embarrasment the more likely they will come to you when they need advice or have a problem.

Answer 3

You are already to late. You should have started years ago. there is no such thing an an inappropiate question from a child. If they ask you give them age appropiate answers. And yes she needs to get the straight goods from you or she will get very possibly a very different version from one of the worlds perverts.There is no place to hide anymore. with children having access to the world at home , in school, you can not turn your back and ignore what is going on around you every day. A child needs to be informed , educated, and be wise. other wise you are raising an ignorant vulnrable girl. Your choice

Answer 4

If she is old enough to ask, she is old enough to know. With 10-year-olds having babies these days, do you want to take that chance? What if her friends tell her something like you can't get pregnant the first time, or oral sex isn't really sex. It's not enough to talk just about sex though, you need to have your ducks in a row first. Make sure you are prepared to also discuss all the potential consequences and have backup for all your arguments.

Answer 5

Whenever she asks you. Sit her down and tell her. At nine I still think she's a little young but kids grow up fast these days.
Just remember that whatever you tell her (Your daughter) she might repeat to some classmates and those kids parents might not be to happy. It happened to my sister and her daughter. Some of the parents were pissed off! and my sister had to call and explain to them.
I waited until my daughter turned eleven and she came and asked me. You'll know when the time is right. I wish you the best!

Answer 6

If she is asking you should talk to her. You do not want her to think she can't come to you with questions. I recommend telling her only the things she asks and do it in an age appropriate way. There are many books out there to help you with this.

Answer 7

I waited till my child was 12...

But if your daughter is acting very mature it is best to hit it early !! AND don't leave anything out... good gawd and use the proper terms please...

NO explaining what a winky is !!!@#$#%$%^^... that is just plain stupid... be blunt, be painfully honest !! Why parents avoid this conversation is beyond me.... I hit everything head on with our child and what and amazing young adult I have now !!

Good Luck ~!

: )

Answer 8

The appropriate age is the age at which she asks you. Exception: If she doesn't ask and her period has started, you'll need to approach the subject then... it's an excellent time. Her body has changed, and what better time to discuss that change, sex, pregnancy, abstinence, etc.

Answer 9

You should start talking to her now. She is already asking questions. Be honest with her. You don't have to tell her everything, but it's a good idea to start talking to her about this stuff. Would you rather her learn it from you or someone else?

Answer 10

everytime she asks something give her an answer.if not she will look after the answer somewhere else.but tell her that she has still got to wait some more years till having sex cause it is just to soon.let her know about everything she wants to know,but also that it is wrong to do it to early.