I'm the maid of honor in my friends wedding. There are 9 Bride's Maids... 2 are children who live out of state. I've decided the 7 left over can split the cost for the shower, so I planned a date to have it. Being it is a big bridal party, it's hard to please everyone. One of the girls states she can't get off work, but will send a gift to the bride. Does this mean she is excluded from the cost split by the party? Do I now have to split it 6 ways? what if 3 girls can't make it, then there's only 4 left....Also, how would I tell her that the gift your giving IS the party?
2006-09-30 09:20:51 · 13 answers · asked by Kutie076 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First of all, if all of the bridesmaids are giving the party, just because one of them can't show, she is still a bridesmaid and it's something she's giving for the bride not for herself, so she still has to pay her share, wether she wants to show or not. As for you, you can tell her that your part in giving the party is her gift,as you couldn't afford to contribute to the cost and get a gift besides. But don't say your gift is the party , because the party is from all of you, your gift is your share of the party. Then at a later date when you are more flush with cash, surprise her with a sweet simple gift to show your love.
2006-09-30 09:46:09 · answer #1 · answered by mainah 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, she is excluded. She should not pay for a party that she will not be attending, however she isn't considered a Host any more. Just make sure her name is not on the invitations. Only contributing hostesses get their names on the invitations. "You" have decided that everyone split the cost...is everyone having the same input on the cost. Not everyone has the same income so be sensitive about how much you spend.
If you want to talk to her about this you could say that all the hostesses are splitting the cost. I know you cant come but do you want to be considered a host and included in this or do you want to just send a gift? That way she chooses.
2006-09-30 16:27:51 · answer #2 · answered by Stiletto ♥ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A bridal shower is friends getting together to shower the bride with gifts and good wishes, Why are you making this simple affair in to an economic connference. Make every thing pot luck find a park where thereis no cost involved. get a grip. No wonder weddings are a major pain in the butt
2006-09-30 16:27:52 · answer #3 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The cost should be split between those of you who originally decided to throw the showever. HOWEVER - it would be extremely rude of you not to give her a shower gift; that would be very unkind. You should be getting her something special for her shower! If you couldn't have handled the expenses, you shouldn't have obligated yourself - if it's money which is the problem. Just be a good friend, and choose a gift she'll OOH and AAH over! She'll also be very grateful to all of you for hosting the party.
2006-09-30 19:17:24 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I guess there's a couple things you can do...in lieu of helping pay for the party the bridesmaid who can't go can send a present...or tell her that hey, it'd make things easier if she could pitch in for the party instead of sending a present because it'll make less of a financial burden on everyone. If more than one can't go, then it will be necessary for them to pay for the party so that 4 or 5 people don't get stuck with the whole bill..or you can reschedule it to when everyone can come. Although I know that's hard.. I was in a wedding with 8 other bridesmaids and getting everyone together can be a hassle. Good Luck!
2006-09-30 16:26:33 · answer #5 · answered by katyzta 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she agreed to split the party from the get go then yes, she is liable.
If you just assumed that everyone would be okay with throwing a party and pitching in then that is not right to do on your part.
The Maid of Honor is not in charge of telling the bridesmaids what to give as their present.
Good Luck!
2006-09-30 17:46:22 · answer #6 · answered by gina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to the maid of honor to throw the bridal shower. If you choose to include the other attendants, ASK them who is interested in going in with you on it. If none of them are, then it is all on you. You don't expect people to pay for something they can't even make it to...and you certainly don't dictate what their 'gift' is.......
2006-09-30 21:19:45 · answer #7 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHEN U AGREE TO BE IN A WEDDING U ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR CERTAIN THINGS , LIKE SPLITTING THE COST OF THE SHOWER AND THE GIFT FOR THE BRIDE. ALSO, THE GIFT IS NOT THE PARTY , THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE....
2006-09-30 20:15:25 · answer #8 · answered by sammi girls mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she agreed to help throw the shower with the other members of the bridal party, then she is obligated to pay her part wether or not she can attend
2006-09-30 16:24:29 · answer #9 · answered by softheart_strongwill 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If ALL of the bridesmaids, including the out state ones, are pitching in then she will still need to pitch in. If not, you don't have a leg to stand on.
If finances are such an issue, scale the event back to something that is more feasible.
2006-09-30 17:34:51 · answer #10 · answered by treday25 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋