ex keeps calling . . . says to be freinds but she has a boyfriend?

Question

we broke up 6 months ago and she started dating this guy right after . . im talking like a week after . . but anyways i tried to get her back the first 2 months then i went NC since the middle of june. . .she has called or texted or left me a voicemail like 10-15 times since then and i havent answered or contacted her back. . .she just recently got into an official relationship with this guys and i noticed she tried to get ahold of me the day they started going out . . . she calls about once every 1,2,3 weeks and she called me drunk last weekend 3 times , 2 texts and 1 voicemail in 1 night and she said she doesnt understand why we cant be friends. . .even though ive told her atleast 20 times that i cant. . . after we broke up she insisted we were going to get back together sometime . . . and she also is the type of person that cant stand to be alone and always has to have somebody. . . if she is completely happy and everything then why does she try to call me all of the time?

also we were together 2 1/2 years . . . when she started dating him she even admitted it was just because he was there and that she cant stand to be alone . . i just dont understand why is she calling me all of the time like this just to be friends when she knows we cant because ive told her 100 times. . does she want something else? also what i really want to know is its been 4 months since ive talked to her and she keeps calling . . . .if she just wanted to be friends wouldnt she get the clue by now that i cant b/c the way things ended

Answer 1

This is a classic case of 'having your cake & eating it too'. Or should I say, this is what she would like. She wants her freedom to bang all of these other guys, yet she also wants to hang on to you. This same crap happened with my ex (FYI we have a son together).
I would get those "Oh honey, I f**ked up, please take me back," calls at 3 am. Thank God I didn't fall for it. After dating MANY guys, she got remarried. I used to get those "my husband is such a bastard" calls, and when she found out (about a year or so later) that I was getting married, she got pissed, I mean REALLY pissed. Why? Because she knew that I had closed her 'safe-harbor' forever. She didn't want me, but she didn't want anyone else to have me either. Great logic huh?

Ignore the calls/voicemails, etc... Hell, I would even change my number and put her on call blocker. If that didn't work, I'd get really nasty and tell her in no uncertain terms to 'fu*k off'.
Stop trying to be a Mr. Nice-guy about the situation. You need to distance yourself from her, physically & emotionally. Trust me, you'll be a lot better off.

Answer 2

Typical manipulative behaviour. You were a sure thing, a "comfort zone". I've seen friends in similar situations, and the retarded thing about it is that they often keep the contact with the ex. It's what's called co-dependency. She never "loved" you, she only needed you. And she wants to keep in contact with you to keep you on a string, so when her next relationship fails, she has you for a safety net. The thing is, only you can decide to keep yourself on that string. If you give in, and let her take advantage of you like that, then you are allowing yourself to be her safety net.

What you need to do is not give into this emotional blackmail. She is obviously selfish because she doesn't understand that you can't be friends with her, and she disregards your plea for her own selfish ends. Cut off all contact with her. Block her calls or change your number. Because each time you answer her call, you're just falling into her game. You don't need someone like that in your life, and you can definitely do better with someone more mature.

Answer 3

she wants to be more than just a friend, cause she figures if she can keep in touch atleast being friends then there is a possiblity you two will get back together. Let her know how you feel and if that doesn't work change your phone number, if you don't want to do that just DO NOT answer ANY of her calls. It will be a hassle for awhile but she will eventually give up and attach herself to someone else.

Answer 4

Keep doing what you're doing. I am the same way. If I had feelings for a girl and she runs off, I can't let her back b/c I feel too easily compelled to let things go back to the way they were. She sounds completely unhappy at this point, but I would say the best way for her to get over this is for her to have no one for a time. That is the only way she will ever get over that and is the best thing you can do for her if you really do care.

Answer 5

I don't know what your ex's intentions are. However from what I am reading she is trying to keep you around as a back up. You made it clear you don't want to be friends. She needs to respect that, if she can't don't make it possible for her to contact you. Block her cell phone number, change your email address, do what you need to do. Good luck.

Answer 6

Love is the answer to everything. All you ever need is love,
communication and understanding. That's what I figured out so
far. If you are down, you need to get up and start doing something with
your life. Don't need to be shy, be straight forward and allways say what
you want and expect from the others.

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Answer 7

dude, any time a woman dates that soon after a break up only states that the next hitter was already on deck. sounds like she finds the closest good time around. can you play boody call? i wouldn't look for more than that with this one. good luck man.

Answer 8

particular , it is Defiantly incorrect . you will desire to have advised Her the actuality in regards to the type you sense nonetheless , yet She would desire to understand , particularly If She's an in depth buddy , in no thank you to bypass out alongside with your Ex .