she is upset because her name is not on the invitations, but she is not paying for anything. I dont get it.
2006-09-30 07:12:40 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I cannot put her name on because I have already recieved the completed invitations.
2006-09-30 07:15:33 · update #1
apparently no one knows anything about etiquitte. etiquette states that only the hosting parties have their names on invitations. she is not hosting or paying.
2006-09-30 07:17:29 · update #2
please check etiquette sites before answering. etiquette CLEARLY states that only HOSTING parties are on the invitation.
msmanners.com
2006-09-30 07:22:15 · update #3
because she wants some of your spotlight. she dosn't have the automatic right to have her name on the invitation. beware of her in the future. you may have some problems with her.
2006-09-30 07:16:06 · answer #1 · answered by justcurious 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, you clearly followed all the "rules" of etiquette, but that's hardly the point now, isn't it? I mean, she's upset about it. No, you shouldn't have to re-order the invites or anything like that, but I also wouldn't point out to her that she's wrong, that's bound to make her even more upset. Probably what I'd do in this case is a wedding program, even if you weren't planning on having one for the ceremony, maybe you should re-think that, and then she can have equal billing there. Just remember the rules of etiquette are in place to avoid offending people, and that's the spirit behind the "rules." I would apologize to her, and hopefully move on. Weddings make everyone a little crazy. Best of luck to you!
2006-09-30 15:52:54 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Okay first of all, if you looked up etiquitte and are not gonna take anyones info to heart, then why ask.
Second. Are you doing everything by the book, I hope so because if not then this wouldn't be right.
If your parents weren't paying would you not have your father walk you down the isle.
If there are ANY parents on the invitation then, all should be.
2006-09-30 17:50:15 · answer #3 · answered by gina 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't put her name on it! I paid for my wedding. His mom didn't do anything except take the wedding party out for the rehearsal dinner. Half of it was her own family though. If she's not paying for the wedding, her name doesn't deserve to be put on it. Tell her that you weren't meaning to offend her, but it's proper to have only the names of the people paying. If she's still mad, then she'll get over it. Don't let simple little things like that make you stress out even more over your wedding day. I know it doesn't seem little, but in the big scheme of things, it is. Been there, done that! I hope that everything will turn out good for you and your future husband. Don't worry about the rest of them.
2006-09-30 15:59:57 · answer #4 · answered by sean's_mom 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I suppose you could tell her what you put in your question.
However if you do have your parents listed then I understand why she is mad, regardless of what your web site or books say. They probabally don't account for feelings. And if I got an invitation with only one set of parents listed I would wonder why or just assume the other set was dead.
Good luck though, mother-in-laws can be rough!!!
Mine wanted to hire her own photographer, (we already had one) she just wanted one for pictures for herself!
2006-09-30 18:07:12 · answer #5 · answered by butterfliesbrown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont listen to what anyone says. I am in the wedding industry and you are right etiquette is to put the names on there if they are helping pay. If they aren't - they don't deserve their names on the invites.
2006-09-30 16:22:19 · answer #6 · answered by Stiletto ♥ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry it is always the brides parents are inviting you to a union of such and such a person. IF the brides family is paying for everything, then the invitations do not have any other names than you, your fiance and the family that is putting on the wedding. Sonce they are paying, it is them that is doing the invitation. Tell her to look up miss Manners, you can check it online if you would like. I don't know of anyones invitation that included the grooms parents unless they helped pay
2006-09-30 14:16:59 · answer #7 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Those "footing the bill" aka hosting should have the names on the invites. If you think otherwise, banish yourselves to www.etiquettehell.com
PS. My weird sil put her mom's and late father's name on an invite even though she paid for it all herself. I think it was strange.
2006-09-30 17:39:21 · answer #8 · answered by treday25 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Fiance and I are not putting any parent's names on it because we are paying for our own wedding. I can see how she might feel a little left out if you put your parents name on it.....although, I've read books that state you only need the brides parents since they traditionally pay. Whether or not she is helping you out, you are stuck with her since you are marrying into her family. I suggest you smooth things out.
2006-09-30 16:43:38 · answer #9 · answered by Aunie Stina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mom's name is on there then I can see why she would be upset. Etiquette or not it can still be hurtful to see one set of parent's names and feel you've just been excluded. However, if your parent's names are not on there, I would talk to your hubby to be and have him handle her. Basically he should tell her to get over herself, but in a nice way. Good luck and God bless!
2006-09-30 15:34:46 · answer #10 · answered by lilmama 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well... if the other parental units have their names on the invitation, her feelings over being excluded are understandable. If you just chose to do your own (non-traditional) thing and not include ANY of the parents' names, well, then, she's being unreasonable. But, just realize, that you're going to be kinda stuck with this woman... so choose your battles wisely.
2006-09-30 14:15:28 · answer #11 · answered by Mr Wizard's Girl 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋