there is this girl that I really love, but I can't be with her really as I want because of my family. I want to spend time with her and everything, but my situation doesn't let me. I don't have a job and I don't have a car. She likes me as well, but I'm afraid that if she really knows that I can't offer her anything she migth not want me anymore. I'm afraid she will reject me or something. She said I can get a job where she works, and that would be great, but, anybody out there tell me how should I approach this situation? I will give 10 points to whoever helps me out with a reasonable answer.
2006-09-30 07:06:02 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, you weren't very clear in your question, but here goes...
You can't be with her as you want because of your family, and you dont have a job... is this because you have to take care of a family member in some capacity? If so, that is very noble and any girl who would not understand this isn't worth being with. It shows that you will take great care of her in the future.
If you can't be with her because your family doesn't approve of her in some way, this is a very rough situation indeed, but there will come a point when you need to decide whose happiness is more important, yours or your family's. You can't live your life for them forever.
I'm not sure how the car scenario fits in here, if you do get a job where she works, it doesn't seem like you'd need one.
Best bet, be honest with her. If she doesn't accept you and your situation as is, she's probably not worth it. Good luck!
2006-09-30 07:12:31 · answer #1 · answered by Mr Wizard's Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. First of all, it's not a matter of life or death. Don't over exaggerate the situation. Not having a job or a car isn't the worst thing in the world. It depends on how old you are. And why you don't have either one. It doesn't mean you are a complete loser. It just means that you have some things to work on. My boyfriend doesn't have his license, but has a car. I haven't had a job for 3 months and I just got one. And we are together despite those inconveniences. It just depends on how much the person really likes you. They can see past those things. And it's great that she already is trying to help you find a job. As long as you show some effort and maturity, I'm sure she won't reject you. She's hasn't this whole time yet. She seems really nice and helpful to your situation. I wouldn't worry about it so much. She should accept you for who you are and where you are at right now. Not what you can or can't give her. Just explain to her why you don't have a job or car and I'm sure she will understand. Just make a better life for yourself, save some money up, get an affordable car, and make a great relationship. I'm sure things will work out for you if you take some initiative.
2006-09-30 07:14:58 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, if the girl really likes you a car wont matter. Second, dude you can get a job, theres alot out there. Third, dont worry about the things that have not happened yet (rejection). Dude, chill out and live life day by day, we are here on borrowed time use it wisely. If you can get a job where she works that could possibly ruin it as you may see her all the time, and that isnt healthy for a relationship either. Ask her out and have a good time, you got a busy schedule, squeeze her in somewhere. If you at least try, she will see it!
2006-09-30 07:13:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all girls want material things. While it would be great if you had a car and a job to take this girl out it is not necessary. Her letting you know that there is a job opening at her place of employment shows that you unemployment status is not that much of a big deal. She probably only offered because you were complaining about it.
If you were to get a job at her place of employment, how would you get there? If you have a ride to and from it would be great. As for taking her out, you might just meet up at a movie or the mall and hang out unitl you can get e vehicle of your own. If she has a vehicle, then perhaps she could pick you up for your date. If she does have her own car, you shouldn't be the one to suggest she pick you up though. She would have to be the one to offer assistance so that she does not feel that you are "mooching" off her. When she does offer to pick you up, offer to pay for gas and of course the DATE.
2006-09-30 07:20:00 · answer #4 · answered by bella_estrella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she really likes you, she won't leave you just because of you can't offer her anything. Trust me, a girl likes you just you are you not your money or car. And don't work with her, I mean, you should find a job somewhere else where isn't her workplace. It sounds like a deparate somehow I think and there are mamy reasons for a couple shouldn't work at the same place. Just go and find the job that you want to do and I'm sure she will support you.
2006-09-30 07:19:32 · answer #5 · answered by Wanlaya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being in love with someone is being your partner. We only reject when the other no longer is there being our partner.
Working at her job would be a quick fix. Do it if you need to, The best is to find work elsewhere and any where. mow lawns, clean gutters, wash cars, look at new construction areas offer to clean up. try mom,s and pop,s diners to clean after hours, This would all be for cash only. Save your money, for the purpose that is needed to help the two of you spend what time is allowed .if its a bus pass to start with , That's a start .
Don't spend any for things you don't need.
If not in school, work 2 jobs. Prove to those you need to, that you are serious and will earn what it is you need to.to make this happen for the two of you.
They in the end can only have respect for you.
2006-09-30 08:00:50 · answer #6 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for one thing you should get a job, maybe if she can help you get it that is good, then you will be able to buy a car and take the girl out, there is no reason that if you love someone that you can't be together. Just go for it and let what will be...be. You don't have to be rich or handsome to get the girl just be yourself. good luck with the girl and the job.
2006-09-30 07:16:10 · answer #7 · answered by jumpinjackdw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truely love this girl.. and she reciprocates it back.. I would go get that job where she works. Its a good start.. better then no start at all. Everyone of us needs to start somewheres. As far as not being able to see her because of your family.. Do they not like her? Or does the family not want to help you get from place to place? This is just food for thought.. My family was always supportive to me in whatever i chose for my partner/spouse, etc.. However they gave their opinions, etc.. and at the same time stated, well I don't have to live with them, marry them, sleep with them.. So they kinda just voiced their concerns to me & I took it in stride & were always polite, etc to the other person whether they liked them or not.
2006-09-30 07:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by Kammaka2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have to ask why it is your family have any bearing upon this.? not having a car and a job is not the end of the world, it would be if you had no intention of looking, but you sound like you want both but have just as yet not been successful. people base too many things on material things, yes you need money to survive of course you do, contrary to popular opinion you cant live on love,but if this girl truly loves you she will love you for you, not what possessions you have or have not got. she will admire you willingness and determination and your want to provide for her, but don't feel you have to give her everything as long as she has your love, your loyalty and your honesty she will be happy. and remember to always make her smile once a day, even when things get bad if your man can make you smile then he is on to a good thing. you have to live your life for you and no one else, your family will always be there for you, they love you, but you cant live your life to make them happy. This is your life live it for you. explain to them how you feel that you want to make a go of this, show them how mature and responsible you are by having a plan ready so any questions they ask you have answers for. do this respectfully and calmly and listen to their side to, but stay firm on this but not with anger . good luck and please let me know how it works out for you. i would be interested to know
2006-09-30 07:18:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the job.........If she realy likes/loves you money shouldn't be a problem becasue you can always find a way to get by. If you don't ask her then you'll never have a chance with her. Ask and you will have a chance---don't be afraid of rejection
2006-09-30 07:14:51 · answer #10 · answered by hockey_starr_11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋