what gives a dead beat parent the right to have any time with their child?

Question

when they haven't made any contact in over a year nor has time to obey the current visitation agreement.

has visitation rights now but don't use them. has an excuse that he has to work all the time.

plus doesn't wanna pay for daycare child barely knows the other parent

he don't use hias rights now and he wants more have not heard from him in a year no calls on holidays or birthdays or when he moved

since the first agreement qwas signed he has seen my child 5 times not for the whole visits either and has brought him back in soiled pull ups and soaked cloths and hungry as well he also gave him juice that he is allergic to

he don't see his other children that live with him and he wants to take my child for the weekend every weekend to try and build a relationship he can't even attempt to make one now he wants to send his wife to pick up my son and to drop him back off and how do i even he will even be there if he goes on the visit

Answer 1

You can always take them back to court and have everything redone. I have 3 boys and their dad is a dead beat he calls maybe 2 times a year and hasn't seen them in a very long time (years). I make the choice to let him talk to them when ever he does call, and if he showed up at the door I would let him see them. I do this because it is not my job to tell my boys their dad if a deadbeat. They will come to that conclusion them selves. And in time he will be the one to answer to their questions. My 10 year old doesn't want to talk to him already and I dont force him to. My 14 yr old still talks to him when he does call but is becoming less involved with him and my oldest tells him that he doesn't act like a father at all. So my choice has worked well for me. I am not the bad parent or the one who "wouldn't let him be a father" the blame is all on him and my boys are coming to realize that. Good luck though it is a hard road to travel.

Answer 2

Been there - got the tee-shirt. Okay listen up:

You have a court-ordered agreement. Now, first of all: as much as you want to tear his head off, you can't - so try to use your energy to take the legal steps that will provide a judge who CAN TEAR HIS HEAD OFF. Now, this is what you have to do:
You need to call the domestic realtions or family court office - whoever your legal papers are from. You tell them what is going on: Tell them that he rarely will see the child, that you have suspicions that your child is not in a safe environment when he does see the child, and that the child is being neglected (tell them that he/she is dirty, soiled, unhappy, nervous, when you get the child back. Tell them everything. But tell them in a calm, mature way - if you just start yapping off at them without having your thoughts and complaints down in a clear and understandable way, they will just figure you are mad at the guy and want to get him in trouble. You make them understand that you are contacting them BECAUSE YOUR CHILDS SAFETY AND CARE ARE IN QUESTION. The reason i'm telling you to go to the court folks is because since you have the agreement with them, if he wants the child, even if you don't receive a dime from him, you are not legally able to keep him from seeing the child.
UNLESS YOU GO TO THEM AND TELL THEM WHY. Make them understand that even though you are very frustrated and having a very hard time financially because of his not paying, that this is NOT ABOUT THE MONEY. It is about the safety and welfare of your child - This will make them listen real well.
They will haul his butt in there and THEN you can resolve any and all issues you have with him at that time. Do not refuse the child to him, or you will be in trouble legally. If you don't want him to see the child before court, do this: If there is a date coming up when he would have a visit, contact him and tell him the child is sick - throwing up and diahria - he won't want the visit, believe me. You could also contact the court and tell them that you are notifying them that the child has a bad bug and so you are keeping the child from visiting this time (so that they have that information when you go to court, and it doesn't look like you are just keeping the visit from happening. Of course, you are, but isn't that in your baby's best interest??? Forget your own frustration and anger, and always do what is best for the child.
This is also how the court thinks, so you will always be in sync
with them. They have lots of power - they can even insist that he not have the visits except with you present, or at a place of mutual agreement - whatever you want. But call them and set something up - Can you imagine how horrible it is for your sweet child to sit in soiled diaper for God knows how long without care?
DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS NOW NOW NOW!!!

Answer 3

Well I would be upset too if the parent not seeing the child goes too long between visits with him/her. I would go to court and get things changed if I could. I would make sure the courts or whomever you contact realize the situation and how you want to protect your child from this up and down type of roller coaster of visits and emotional upsets. I don't think the dead beat parent who is not visiting has as much rights as one that is visiting but not paying.

Answer 4

As the second parent, unfortunately they have rights. I suggest while the parent is still around, have them served and take them back to court. For any possible owings, have the visitation limited, and have the judge throw the book at them!
See if they are willing to give up their rights as a parent, and have papers drawn up for them to sign. Then, the next time they come around you can call the police because there is no connection to the child.
It is harsh I know, but some people never learn.
Good luck Hon.

Answer 5

Well, I don't really know what you are asking I don't understand I guess it was the way you wrote it,but I will answer it to my best ability okay...Well I think that you should let him see his child because if its been over a year and he finally called that must mean he had a enough time to get his head on start...And if he cant obey the visitation agreement than you should tell him about it...you know,but if you have told him on one are more occasions than u would just have to put a stop to it ,because if he cant follow the visitation rights than he cant see his child,because if he wanted to see his child so bad than he would obey the visitation rights.You know so I hope you understand what I wrote to you...

Answer 6

The courts make crazy decisions. My husbands ex was deemed as incomptent parent by the Dept of Children and Family Services, but she was given guardianship, as she was the mom. Never mind she had sex in front of the girl, took her into bars....on and on and on. It is frustrating. But, my sd, who is now 15 can she what is what. It takes some time, and you have to do your best to stay neutral. It is hard to see your child mistreated and their heart being jerked around, but in time he or she will she your ex for what they really are. My hope would be, that in time, they will grow up and not be such a deadbeat, but you can't take the spots of a leopard.

Sorry you are going thru this.

Answer 7

Don't sweat it, just do your part now and he will have to explain his actions later when your child starts asking questions. Never lie to the child but don't down talk the parent either. Before you know the child will figure out the truth about the absent parent. Hey a song that will make you feel better is Fantasia's song "Baby Momma drama" She sings the woes of all mothers tr yin to make it on their own.

Answer 8

I don't think he has any right to be with the child. If they were living together and child services checked up on them and found the child in the condition that you say, they would probably put him/her into foster care. If you can afford it, try to get a good lawyer who can get only supervised visitiation for the father of the child, using what you've said in the details as reference.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Simple...it's a court order, they don't HAVE to "obey" the visitation order but they can invoke it anytime they want to see the child. The only way you could manage to pull off not allowing him to see the child is to deny that he is the father, but then I am willing to bet that the court would demand DNA testing, and IF he is paying ANY child support then he is entitled to see the child...unless you want to deny him visitation by saying he is not the father, then that ends the support as well.

Answer 10

It's his child too, however as he has not shown in the past any inclination to have a relationship with the child, I would be extremely reluctant to give it to him for a weekend. You don't say how old the child is, but nevertheless the child is not living with him and he has to comply with the other arrangements and visitation rights and doesn't deserve any consideration of his wishes.