Any advice that I can give my daughter?

Question

My daughter is 17 and she has never been on a date. She is an extremely attractive girl - tall, slender/healthy build (I am not saying she is attractive because I am her mother - she honestly is a very attractive girl). She complains that no guys seem interested in her (but I have seen them looking at her before). She is rather shy, and insecure about herself - but extremely sweet, mature,smart and caring.

My sister-in-law told me that her step son told her one day that all the guys at her school must really like my daughter alot - because she is pretty and nice. I also have many other people compliment me on my daughter's attractiveness and sweetness.

I am really hurting for her, because it is really bothering her. The other day she said she felt like such a loser because "no guys" have ever asked her out. I tell her that her time is coming - and that when she goes to college it will be better. That is all I know to say - what else can I tell her?

Answer 1

In High School there's a big maturity gap and sometimes the prettier and especially the smarter girls don't get asked out because they are intimidating. Relatively immature H.S. guys are afraid to ask them out because they are afraid of being turned down. All you need to do is keep her active socially at the events in her life that are not "dating" events. Encourage her to participate in activities and youth groups. And you are right about college. With the live-in community that surrounds most colleges, there is a much more relaxed social dynamic that will help her to meet many, many more guys. And that's the goal, after all. If she meets a lot of guys, then some will ask her out. Good luck. (from Father of three)

Answer 2

Let her know that guys in high school are very fragile. Some times beauty is an intimidating thing. Especially if she is shy, they may not think she is interested. Guys are afraid of being shot down and there for hurting their ego. Maybe she should have a party and invite people from school. Halloween is coming and that is always great for a party. Or maybe if you have a big back yard she could see if people would like to help her build a haunted house for the neighbor hood. The more involved she gets the more people will talk to her and the more likely she will be to get asked out on a date. If she is in a costume maybe she could feel more like coming out of her shell. If you have a Halloween party the theme could be to guess who people are. Or vote for the best costume. Just let her know its not her.... boys that age just generally go for the sure thing, and its a good thing shes not that.

Answer 3

A lot of the times when this happen it's because guys are too afraid. I mean, who really digs being rejected, ya know? Girls are like apples on trees; the best ones are on the top of the tree. Guys don't want to climb all the way up and scared of falling down and get hurt so they pick the apples on the ground, the easy, but not good ones. So the apples on the top think something is wrong with them, but little do they know that they are the best, most attractive in the entire crowd. So they just gotta sit there and wait for that one brave guy to climb all the way up to the top and reach for her.

And your daughter sounds like one of those apples all the way at the top. Sometimes being single is a blessing :)

Answer 4

Guys at that age are sometimes intimated by really attractive girls, because the 17 year old guys are just as shy and insecure as her. Tell her to choose one guy that she really likes that is also a little shy and invite him to a movie on saturday. Not a chick flick. A movie is good because they don't have to talk, they can just watch the thing, then go out afterwards for pizza and talk about the movie.

Answer 5

Well to be really honest with you from what ive seen guys in general are shy and find a great deal of trouble just talking to attractive woman nothing is new their . Its likely their intimidated and its well as you know not her at all just inmature boys . Im a 21 year old guy and im in the same situation no ones interested in me and i wouldent say im ugly and also im not very attractive either im shy and quite reserved it bothers me too .

I think its a combination of her being shy and guys being intimidated .

I understand that shes botherd but really the truth is its not her im sure in later years shes going to be complaining about to many guys hiting on her .

Personaly you should just explain what ive said but i dont think it will change her opinion of the issue it will be a past memory in years to come .

Answer 6

Well, from what you say, her being shy might have alot to do with it. Maybe she needs to start joining in with some groups at school, maybe try cheerleading or get involved in some clubs so she can be around people that she can talk to. Shyness is almost like a disease when you are a teenager and if she is as attractive as you say, maybe the guys are self-conscious about coming up to her because they are also at an akward age.

Answer 7

I had her situation. My mom positioned me into stuff like lady scouts and only little golf equipment that i might make friends. My heart is going out on your daughter because of the fact i understand in my opinion how she feels and it is not a stable feeling. this would be a transition era. Be her buddy till she unearths some. Take her out (like a females nighttime out )possibly once or twice a week. She'll love you for it, and whilst she unearths friends at her new college, she won't forget approximately which you're her first buddy. As for what the little lady reported to her...if she advised your daughter she hated her, the subsequent time she says it, tell your daughter to tell her "nicely, you may hate me, yet Jesus loves you and so do I!" and stroll away. one component i've got found out, bullies can't stand it once you beat them at their own activity and that they don't like it once you're actually not tormented via their words or movements.

Answer 8

If your daughter is as cute and sweet as you say, you should be teaching her that she can just go out and pick one. Half way decent looking girl can have her pick from a decent selection of men, so an attractive one pretty much has her pick. Women shouldn't be sitting around waiting to be picked. Help her learn to handle guys so that she can be in the driver seat as opposed to waiting to be picked up.

Answer 9

I think we've all forgotten how high school guys are like--17-year-old boys probably don't have the guts to talk to her if she's as great as you say she is. Wait a year or two, and they'll be all over her like bees on honey. :)

Answer 10

Tell her most boys are shy about asking pretty girls out. Their insecurity keeps them from asking because they don't want to be turned down.

Also her being shy doesn't help, some boys will assume she is aloof.