your the love of my life
and today you agreed to be my wife
u make me feel so special
i love it when we wrestle
you were my first kiss
im sorry that i missed
i wanna take you home tonight
and i will make you feel all right
when the baby is asleep
i swear not to make a peep
i will love till the day i die
please baby do not cry
i will be with you from this day on
i will will miss you when im gone
2006-09-30 05:49:34 · 21 answers · asked by Matt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
the wrestling and the i will not make a peep isnt romantic
but..... thats one lucky woman to have a man that wrote her something from his heart
2006-09-30 05:51:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i personally like it. this coming from the person when her husband proposed incorporated the words "& stuff" while he was doing it, as in--i love you and spending time with you & stuff! i think she will love anything that comes from your heart.
i did some quick editing using your own words if you'd like to maybe see if you like how it sounds a little better. though i'm by no means a poet myself....feel free to use anything, or just leave it as you have it. i think what you wrote sounds great, i'm sure she will too. best of luck, and congrats!!
you are the love of my life
today i'm so blessed to call you my wife
you have a way of making me feel so very special
just by doing simple things, like when we wrestle
i'm so glad you were my first kiss
and even more so--you didn't laugh when i missed
once we leave for home tonight
i promise our future will forever be bright
have no worries when the baby's alseep
i'll try my best to never make a peep
i will love you with all of my heart until the day i die
and i'll try the rest of my days to never make you cry
i will be with you from this day on
being the best man i can be to you and our son
**sorry best i could do on the spot!
good luck!!!
2006-09-30 06:34:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Please don't listen to people to quick to judge. Your poem may not win any prizes from the poetry guild, but I'm sure your girl will love it. I would not make any changes unless it is your own editing and comes from your heart. For those who said it is immature- you're what, 17? I am assuming that your girl is around the same age. It may sound immature to a 30-year-old, but I am sure she will love it. You are, after all, writing about your experiences and feelings with her. For those who tried to define poetry- the beauty of poetry is that there are no rights or wrongs. Poetry is not just about the technical components. The true value and meaning in a poem comes from the heart. I have used poetry for the last 20 years to express my feelings (in times of extreme happiness and in times of great pain). I have won awards for some- others have never left my journal. Bottom line is- DO NOT let others discourage you. My husband new of my love for poetry and how I use it to express or cope with my feelings. He wrote me a beautiful poem for our 1st anniversary- writing it on the 1st page of a journal he bought me. Was it technically correct or have all the "right" words/phrases? No. But I can tell you this was the most meaningful present I ever received. We have grown and changed a lot over the years, but I still treasure that poem he wrote me. Good luck!!!!
2006-09-30 07:29:53 · answer #3 · answered by teacher/mother 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You know what - I'm going to be brutally honest and your poem really does suck (quite hard) HOWEVER - the very fact that you have made an effort to personalise your wedding and invest your feelings into this verse speaks volumes about your heart - enjoy your special day
2006-09-30 14:37:13 · answer #4 · answered by LadyRebecca 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hope your wedding isn't anytime soon and that you are now just fantasizing about it. This sounds VERY IMMATURE and and totally ridiculous! It's worse than the the worst greeting card verse. This is merely a bunch of rhyming words and NOT POETRY! (That reference to wrestling is the absolute WORST!) If you really are getting married in the near future, burn this thing and DON'T show it to anyone else, least of all your fiance! It's embarrassing! The person above this post also had better realize that poetry is VERY difficult to write and what THEY wrote is again, BAD verse 101. People, if poetry is your aim, then check out REAL and EXCELLENT poetry via Emily Dickinson. Poetry is about IMAGERY and METER. NOT about rhyming and trite reference to ANYTHING! To would be "poets" everywhere - you asked.
2006-09-30 06:43:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
If it is just something for you and your wife, it's okay. But not if you are going to read in front of her entire family. Do you really want hre or your parents thinking about your sex life? Other than that it's good...
2006-09-30 05:53:40 · answer #6 · answered by collegebusygirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think the fact that you took the time to sit and write a poem for her will show just how much you love her and let her see how lucky she is...very nice poem and the true meaning behind it will mean even more to her
2006-09-30 05:55:30 · answer #7 · answered by marie r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't quit your day job! LOL You bride will love this. It is an effort to put all of your feelings and memories into one special poem for her. You may want to have this printed and framed for her.
2006-09-30 05:57:59 · answer #8 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No offense, but it is not that good. 1. She did not agree to be your wife on the day you marry... She agreed when you asked her, so the second sentence doesn't make sense. The "I'm sorry that I missed" part ...well, that just should not be there. You should want to do more than "make her feel alright"... "Please baby do not cry" should not be in this...and "I will miss you when I'm gone.. well, if you are in the army and going overseas that makes sense, but if you are not going anywhere , then it is implying that you are going to die and that really is not romantic.
2006-09-30 05:56:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
That is too sweet. Anything that comes from the heart is the greatest. Congrats.
2006-09-30 05:53:23 · answer #10 · answered by michelle 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋