she saw him for the 1st time but when i said he was mine she flipped out thanks for all the horrible advice now she doesnt want to see him anymore what should i do me and my girl are gettin married in 3 days and my mom wont be there but my dad will how do i handle this HELP!!!!!
2006-09-30 05:33:20 · 10 answers · asked by Matt 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Sounds like your mom has a problem, she flipped out because its your baby?! Shes your son, shes suppose to be accepting and loving of you, especially of your children.
Youd be better off without her there, it sounds like, major problems are in store for you in the future with her around if she acts like this now.
Selfish.
2006-09-30 05:51:12 · answer #1 · answered by feel_n_learn 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I looked back at your past questions and I don't really know why you are saying "Thanks for all the horrible advice". Why did you not tell your parents from the start about the baby? You should have told them already. Why are you surprised that she is upset? You didn't tell her about this grandson, even though you have known for 9 months, and then all of a sudden you show up at her house with a newborn baby and SURPRISE, she is a grandma!
She is in shock right now, I am sure. She has every right to be. If you really love your mother, you need to give her time to adjust to this. If you live with your girlfriend, as have for,what was it, 8 months?, then why didn't your mom already know about this baby? Something sounds weird to me about this whole situation. And in one post you were already asking about having another baby in a year??????? Why on earth would you be asking about that at this point? You are unmarried, have a newborn, and your mother never even knew about this baby until after it was born. Does that sum things up pretty good? You need to really sit down and get your life in order for the sake of this child. You sound really excited about this baby and that is wonderful, but you should have really evaluated a few things before he was born.
If you and your girlfriend were able to go this long without being married, a few more weeks is not going to hurt you. Give your mom a break, and let her get used to this. It was pretty insensitive of you to handle things the way you did. You should not have told her about this baby the way that you did.
2006-09-30 14:21:09 · answer #2 · answered by LittleMermaid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her time. Getting used to the idea of her child (no matter how old you are) having a child is difficult for some moms. It means they are getting old, it means they are not just a mom anymore, but a grandma, which can take some getting used to.
If you are especially young, she is probably scared for you as well. Raising a baby and keeping a marriage going are not the easiest things in the world, and she knows that.
Maybe she objects to the woman.
And, springing a baby on the poor woman, then a wedding, is not very nice young man! (just kidding LOL :-))
Congratulations on the kid, by the way, I wish you all the best.
2006-09-30 12:44:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure what kind of advice you got but, I would suggest you make sure she has the invite to the wedding, send her a very loving thank you card and call her soon and beto express to her just how much you love her and all that she has helped you become as a young adult . Let her know that you need her help to be a good parent for your child and her grand child because none of it would be possible if she was not a good mother to you. Some flowers (red roses) with the card won't hurt. It should melt her heart, maybe not before the wedding but it will help put your relationship back on track in a loving way.
2006-09-30 16:54:40 · answer #4 · answered by Teetee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure it was hard for your mother to realize that you kept something like this from her for so long. Give her time- it sounds like she has been dealing with a lot of her own problems and she needs time to adjust to the information. Realistically, she may not make it to the wedding if she is this upset, but hopefully will come around. I am sure she doesn't want to miss out on spending time with her grandchild. Part of the reason she is so upset may also be that she is concerned about your future, and the baby's. Let her know that you would really like her at the wedding and want her to be a part of your new family's life. If she is not ready to talk to you, try writing her a letter. Keep it simple- just let her know you love her and want her to be there. Apologise for keeping the baby a secret and let her know it was not meant to hurt her, but that you were not sure how to approach her with it. Hopefully she will understand, but it may take some time. I don't recommend cutting her out of your life, unless there are some serious problems. As you get older you tend to realize how important family is. Good luck and have a happy wedding!
2006-09-30 14:45:24 · answer #5 · answered by teacher/mother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what advice you got before, but it was only advice. That didn't mean you had to follow it. As for your mother, give her some time to get used to you being a daddy. I have never met a woman who would refuse her own grandchild. If she continues to not talk to you, make sure that you visit your dad and he is a part of the baby's life. He may be able to encourage your mother to get to know her grandson.
2006-09-30 12:38:13 · answer #6 · answered by blackwidow 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give your mom time and space. She's probably just in shock and will come around eventually. Keep inviting her to see the baby and sending her pictures and stuff that you would normally do, but respect her wishes if she doesn't want to see the baby right now. My parents freaked when I told them I was pregnant and it took them 5 months to accept it and start to be happy.
2006-09-30 13:01:24 · answer #7 · answered by ericalsmith2004 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
trying to decypher the question is a Chore.. try commas or periods please.
:)
Now on with the advice.
Time and communication is key brother. I had my first child out of wedlock. it was tough and wasnt received smoothly by my now inlaws at first.
Communication, time, patience... these are the things i like to think helped us through. Now we're genuinly happy and have a great relationship. Almost like a second mother and father.
2006-09-30 12:45:35 · answer #8 · answered by ajros02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THATS A SERIOUS PROBLEM.TRY TALKING TO UR DAD TO MAKE IT ALL UP OR PLZ DO ASK FOR YOUR MOMS FORGIVENESS AND TELL THAT U R GETTING MARRIED OUT OF LOVE AND NOT TO AVOID ANY SHAME
2006-09-30 12:39:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
thats just f***ed up from her part, she needs to realize that your a grown man and that you need to start your life with someone. she'll come around
2006-10-04 11:29:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋