plz help me out, -10 pts to best answer-?

Question

I feel like i can talk to my dad alot better than my mom but... when ever i feel sad and I dont tell my mom why she like threatens me as in "u cant go shoppin with me tomorrow," or "if you dont tell me im gonna ground u." the thing is if I tell her, she just keeps talkin about it, which is like me being reminded over, and OVER again, which just makes me be more sad, where as my dad just says something like -im sorry- or -is tht so- or even -hmm- and he never mentions it again. I love it because I like to tell how im feeling which makes me feel better. plus I know tht he does care, like when I tell him something happy happened to me, he asks about it, which makes me more happy, where as my mom will just say -thts cool- and thts it. but I hate being grounded just because I didnt tell her one sad detail of my life. what should I do?

Answer 1

Tell your mom why you can't talk to her, cause she only makes you feel worse than you did to begin with! She can't deny it, she doesn't know how you feel. Let her read what you just wrote to explain EXACTLY how it makes you feel when you confide in her about something. OR maybe if that doesn't work, ask your daddy to help talking to her about it. He should have a say in whether or not you get grounded. It seems silly that you should get punished for not wanting to tell her how you feel. You're just trying to protect your feelings from being hurt even more by not telling her.

Answer 2

It sounds like you have really loving and caring parents. That's really awesome.

It seems to me that your dad has learned the secret of empathizing with women as opposed to simply offering a solution to fix your problems which is a man's natural tendency.
Unfortunately, you can't change your mom. The only thing you can change is the way you react to your mom's actions.

You may consider asking your dad to talk with her about it, although, I doubt it will do any good. So, as hard as it may seem, you'll just have to get used to the way your mom responds to your feelings, even if it means hididng your sad feelings from her when you are around her. Another suggestion would be to offer to tell her how you feel in exhange for her promise not to bring it up again so you don't have to relive the pain. My guess is that she will understand that because women tend to be more emotionally sensitive than we men are.

Good luck to 'ya!

Answer 3

Well, try to explain it to her (although it sound like she won't get it), or ask your dad to talk to her about it (definitely addressing the unfair groundings...,he is a parent, too). Perhaps the two of you could gently coach her in the appropriate responses (after sharing something with her and receiving the WRONG reaction, politely and quickly say, "Mom, it would help me if you said something like ...." and state the response you would prefer to get). This is obviously something she was never taught before.

Maybe she feels left out. If so, then perhaps you could make an effort to keep her active in your life in another way. That might make her feel better to have something special with you, too.

If all else fails, keep the closeness with dad and let her black mail you. It sounds like the shopping trip would be a head trip anyway, so maybe missing out is a good thing?

Answer 4

Don't give in to your moms 5 year old type of control freak behavior. It sounds like she actually likes it when you are sad, which is demented, and could care less when you are happy. Stop telling her anything and just talk to your dad about stuff. If she asks why tell her the truth. Tell her that dad is much more respectful with your information than she is. If she gets mad, oh well. She is burning her own bridge to you when you hit 18 and move away from her.

Answer 5

Sounds like your mom wants you to stop playing the fence against her. She wants you to be just as honest to her as you are to your dad. And yes, you will probably need to explain to her why you do that. And dont tell her out of anger, when you find a good,cool, moment just ask to talk to her. She will appreciate it in the long run and you too will develop a more friendlier relationship.

Answer 6

Apart of growing up, is that you learn about how people are, this is how your Mom is, so now you know how she will react, but have you ever asked her if you can talk to her, and see by you telling her how she acts, may be she will change, now some people, even though they know, will not change. Always remember one thing, you can not change anyone, the only one you can change is yourself. So with people like that you have to learn to act accordinly.

Answer 7

will that is hard, most of kids are with there mom alot and she has a shorter fuse then dad,and that is why they go off fast then dad,but it would be nice to talk to both, but they get so into there business, and we come along with some question and and there take some of the anger out on us when they don't mean it.

Answer 8

My daughter has the same problem, she's able to talk to me but her mom is a bear. Her mom in my opinion is jealous of her own daughter and I believe it is because my daughter and I have such a deep and caring relationship, like you and your dad. Which of course her mom wants but because of her reactions and attitude towards her daughter just pushes or drives her farther away. (Her mom and I are divorced) I've told my daughter to talk to her mom about these feels and explain what pain it causes but it hasn't accomplished much of a positive change in her mom. Good Luck

Answer 9

I feel you are a high school student, currently being puzzled by what puzzles most guys at your age. Maybe you can talk with your teacher who is specialised in the sex education or something similiar in your school. They can provide the answer better than your parents.

Answer 10

havve ur dad talk to your mom about this. If that doesnt help then ignore your mom saying you cant go shopping, then eventually she'll just get annoyed and stop saying things like that.