Can anybody make me smile. I feel sad today?

Question

Somebody give me something to smile about, joke, quote or any mad shite. Please

Thanks every one its working keep it up please.

Answer 1

http://www.holylemon.com/
http://www.stupidvideos.com/
http://www.unoriginal.co.uk/
Here are some sites where surely you will have great time! Trust me!!!

Answer 2

A letter from my Penis
the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases


Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

Answer 3

When I am sad, I like to go shopping and buy myself something personal, like a new pair of shoes or a purse that I really don't need, or a new outfit. Even just a new bra can do the trick. Just something that makes me feel pretty & special. One of my favorite things to do is go to a beauty salon and get a new do, cause that is something that can last a long time. And other people will notice it and compliment you, and compliments are always a spirit booster.

Answer 4

Well if none of your friendsof family is sick or in any trouble that ought to be enough.By the way I love the pig on your 360.Now give me a little smile and go do some codas.Excercise is good for the soul!

Answer 5

Today is a gift from God, you need to thank him, that you was able to wake up this morning. So Smile and the world, will smile with you.

Answer 6

You are definitely a cutey! Wow! If I wasn't eleven yrs. older than you and lived in your neck of the woods, I'd definitely give you something to smile about! You'd have to pry me off of you with a spatula!

Answer 7

too bad you cant add pics, i'd have you rolling.

a jumper cable walks into a bar. the bartender says, "i'll serve you, but don't start anything."

a man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "a beer please and one for the road."

two eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you cant have your kayak and heat it too.

a group of chess enthusiasts checked into the hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. after about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "but why?" they asked as they moved off. "because" he said, "i cant stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Answer 8

Smile Please:
A blonde walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor
she's broken every single bone in her body.
"That's impossible!" says the doctor.

The blonde says, "No, it's really true. Look!"
She then touches her leg with her index finger and screams "Ouch!"
Then she touches her arm and yells "Eeeeoooow!"
Finally she touches her ribs and can barely maintain her composure
as the tears start to roll down her face.
She says, "See, I told you I broke every bone in my body."

The doctor rubs his chin, then conducts a thorough examination.
"Well, miss," he tells her,
"I've got some good news and some bad news.
The good news is, you haven't broken every bone in your body.
The bad news is, you've broken your finger."

Answer 9

That person you really hate...I just unplugged their freezer while they're away for the weekend. Just wait! Come Monday morning - melted ice cream! Everywhere!

- Captain Chaos

Answer 10

SIGNING IN BED
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of
marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the
bedroom when they turn off the lights (because they can't see each other using sign language,).

After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings,
the wife proposes a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we
agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his
wife, "Great idea! Now if you want to have sex with ME,
reach over and pull on my penis one time." "And if you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis......fifty times"

Answer 11

Ok, it is sad but this one had my hubby laughing so much when he was drunk one night that he fell into the camp fire and set his pants on fire....

How do ou get Peekachoo on a bus?
You Pokemon!!

(told you it was terrible!) lol. Hope you cheer up soon. Go get yourself some chocolate!! (mmm, nice thought, might get some myself now!!)