just told my future husband that i got a positive pregnanct test i was so excited and scared! He on the other hand wants to move up the wedding day because he is afraid of how it will look if i walk down the isle pregnant and is panicking about what his italian mommy will think of this aparently she liked me when we met and the rest of his family did too we all got along and my spanish family is coming around to him and he is afraid this will mess things up? Is he taking this too far?I mean we are 24, and 25 years old not children and he does not want anyone to know it is almost like he is embarrassed of me being pregnant?Our familys are both catholic too mine are probably stricter than his! He has decided to take over the wedding plans! I feel left out and sad?
2006-09-30 03:49:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Was suppose to have married this coming spring know its been moved to next month and he is showing me fabric swatches and pictures of different places for the reception!and samples of flowers even bringing home cake samples!
2006-09-30 03:51:41 · update #1
How do i tell him how i feel without offending him?
2006-09-30 03:52:23 · update #2
Your hubby to be is obviously worried about getting things done in such a short time. Tell him you appreciate his input and in a firm manner say that you still want the wedding of your dreams and you need to be able to have a say in what you want. Tell him you want to do it together. Since time is so short, it's actually a good thing he is so interested in the planning. Maybe you can look at bridal mags and go shopping together? Enjoy this exciting time..congrats! :)
2006-09-30 13:44:30 · answer #1 · answered by xanadu88 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lucky you! Your guy is involved in the planning (a lot of them aren't). Even though he is taking it upon himself to organize things, I would let him know that I would like to be a part of the planning as well. I think that, unless he is planning the wedding for next week or something, both sets of your parents will know about you being pregnant before the wedding because of the baby's due date.
Personally, I would get the wedding out of the way before I was showing - but that is totally your call. I know that I would prefer not to look pregnant in wedding photos, and I would not want to go through an endless amount of dress fittings up to the very last day to ensure that the dress still fit me. And, I think that I would prefer to have the wedding during the time frame that the hormones are not totally and completely whacked out - which is something that they will be in the 3rd trimester.
All in all, you really need to sit down with the future hubby and talk about it. Sitting down, sharing your feelings, and really expressing yourself are going to be essential to your successful marriage. There are going to be some tough topics on the table in the future, and you need to learn to communicate with your husband about everything.
Good luck to you!
2006-09-30 04:00:33 · answer #2 · answered by Only_my_opinion 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
sure, it really is a foul theory to ask him. he will sense obligated to assert "sure", even although he will favor to delight in his son's wedding ceremony. I had this similar undertaking - a pal of the relatives is a photographer, and we determined no longer to ask him to do the pastime so as that there changed into no conflict. also, i'm no longer particular in the experience that your dad-in-regulation is a professional, yet there would nicely be issues or problematic thoughts afterwards if the images are not the suitable. in case you want to keep money, you could evaluate asking a pal who isn't extremely so close to to the relatives or perhaps an paintings student at a community college who you should pay possibly only $100 or $250 or so, it somewhat is a huge low-priced costs! sturdy success!
2016-11-25 03:57:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you tell him how you feel without offending him?
Don't start with telling him how *you* feel, start with asking him how *he* feels.
Obviously, the idea of letting his family know that you're already pregnant is upsetting to him. Ask him why. What is he afraid of, exactly? There might be history there you're not aware of or he might be blowing things entirely out of proportion, but you won't know what's motivating him to rush this if you don't ask.
He might have a really good reason, he might not. Letting him talk about it without challenging him is the place to start exploring it. Once he's had his say, ask him if he's open to listening to your feelings about it. If he's not, back off and give him a day or two before approaching the subject again. Then start with, "I've been thinking a lot about what you said and I'd like to share my thoughts with you". If he still doesn't want to hear it... you might want to rethink the wedding entirely. A husband who won't listen to you before you get married is not going to change after you've said "I do".
Good Luck!
2006-09-30 04:55:22 · answer #4 · answered by Kya Rose 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just come right out and tell him you dont want to rush things just because of this pregnancy. being pregnant is supposed to be a wonderful and joyful time. he should be happy and so should his family. if his parents have a problem with it then its up to him to tell them that its his life and his decisions. this is not a good time to be feeling sad either. stress on you is stress on the baby. sit him down and talk to him about it. he may also be worried about being a father too or really excited and wants everything to be done and perfect before the baby arrives. best of luck to you and congrats on your pregnancy.
2006-09-30 05:51:07 · answer #5 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to not offend someone is to go along with their wishes. If you feel differently about something, then you have to expect him to be offended. Learn to cope with it before telling him your feelings on the issue. As a matter of life's rights and wrongs, he should tell his immediate family that you two are expecting a child. Confront him, talk about the importance of it, and convince him that it is the right thing to do.
Don't sacrifice your feelings for his.
2006-09-30 04:21:27 · answer #6 · answered by mulderlx 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Maybe he is taking it a little far but since you are getting married, you need to accept him completely. That includes accepting his devotion to his family. He feels that this info would accept his mother so he is doing what he thinks is right to make everyone happy.
But since you do feel left out and sad, I would relay that info to him. He probably doesnt realize what his actions are doing to you. .
2006-09-30 03:53:39 · answer #7 · answered by JC 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Italians have a very proud history (and very old school) and he probably doesn't want his mother to think that he has disgraced the family.
Move up the wedding but tell him you need to be involved and that it is making you sad.
2006-09-30 03:52:03 · answer #8 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think he knows how you feel, but he is doing the right thing in the circumstances you have created. Be happy you won't have to deal with so much stress! Chill....
2006-09-30 12:24:51 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he is taking over the wedding to put less stress on his now pregnant bride to be. don't worry about it. go with the flow, but tell him you want some say in it.
2006-09-30 03:59:21 · answer #10 · answered by Ms Berry Picker 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋