try to give a better joke!!!!!!!!?

Question

tell me a better joke than this!

There were these 3 guys on a plane and they had to share a row of seats,2 were russian and 1 was american. When the plane took off the american had to go to the bathroom. He wasnt wearing his shoes and he left them at his seat. The two russians were drinking coke and when the american was gone one of the russians spit in the americans shoe. The american got back and soon he went to get some peanuts. The other russian spit in the americans shoe. When the plane landed the american put his shoes on and said'' common guys,cant we just all get along, we are spittin in eachother shoes peeing in eachothers cokes!

Answer 1

ok, here's one contender...

there was this one guy who got lost in a jungle. after hours of wandering, he chance upon this odd dwelling. so, with nothing to lose, he went to knock on the door. answering to the knock was this old man, who was then told of the guy's predicament and such. the old man then offered the guy a night's stay at his place on 1 condition - the guy must promise NOT go near his daughter. with not much choice, he agreed to it.

that night, when he was going to the bathroom, he stumbled into a gorgeous young lady (the old man's daughter). without much thought about his promise, he jump at the chance and had sex with the chick.

the next morning, when he wakes up, he found this big boulder on his chest. on the boulder was this message,"punishment #1 - boulder on chest". chuckling to himself how harmless the old man's threat was, he then threw the boulder out of the window. after he threw the boulder, he noticed a notice at the window sill, which says,"punishment #2 - boulder tied to right testicle". panicking, the guy thought broken bones are better than one less ball. and so, he jumped out of the window. on his way down, he then saw another message on the wall,"punishment #3 - left testicle tied to bed poster".

yea, ouch!! (^_^)

Answer 2

A woman sitting at a roadhouse in Top Springs, NT, suddenly
began to cough while eating a giant outback steak.
After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real
distress and two Jackaroos at the next table turned to look at her. "Can ya swalla?", asked one Jackaroo.
The woman signalled "No", desperately shaking her head.
"Can ya breathe?", asked the other.
The woman, beginning to turn blue, shook her head "No".
With that, the first Jackaroo raced over to her, lifted up the
back of her skirt, yanked down her panties, and slowly ran his tongue up and down the woman's butt crack.
This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the
obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
The Jackaroo walked back over to his mate and proudly took another drink of his VB. His mate said in admiration,
"Ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but I
ain't never seen nobody do it before".

:)

Answer 3

HA!HA! ; )
I just heard that one, except it was an American soldier and 2 men from Iraq.

There's 2 Pollocks walking to town. They just bought a farm and need a mule to work the field. They only have $50.00 to pay for it.
Well they get to town and see all kinds of mules for sale, but all for more than $50.00. They're about to give up when they see a sign MULE $50.00. So they go up to the man and ask what is wrong with the mule to be only $50.00, and the man says "It won't drink water." Well they decide they can get the mule to drink water and give the man his money, and head for home. On the way they discuss their plan to get the mule to drink. They decide, one of them will hold the mules head under water, while the other one sucks on it's butt.
Well, they get home and go down to the lake, and the one Pollock puts the mules head under the water and the other one starts sucking on it's butt. They continue this for a few minutes when the Pollock sucking on the mules butt sticks his head around and says "Hey, can you pick up the mules head a little bit? I'm suckin up too much mud."

Answer 4

A super joke.......hahahaha..........

Here is one for you:
There are three women stranded on an island. One is brunette, one's a redhead, and the other one is a blonde. There is land in sight.

"I have an idea!" the redhead says. "We can swim there!"

So the redhead jumps into the water, swims 1/4 of the way, and drowns.

The brunette says, "I'm a better swimmer. I can get there." She manages to swim 1/3 of the way and she drowns.

The blonde dives into the water, swims 1/2 of the way, and looks around.
"I'm pretty tired." she says. "I'm gonna swim back."

Answer 5

a woman accompanied her husband to the well-known practitioner's workplace. After his checkup, the well-known practitioner referred to as the spouse into his workplace on my own. He suggested, "Your husband is stricken by an exceptionally severe tension ailment. in case you do not stick to my classes heavily, your husband will easily die. "each and every morning, fix him a healthful breakfast. Be friendly in any respect situations. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an exceptionally wonderful meal for him. "do not burden him with chores. do not communicate your issues of him; it is going to basically make his tension worse. do not nag him. maximum critically, make like to him oftentimes. "in case you're able to try this for the subsequent 10 months to a year, i think of your husband will regain his wellness thoroughly." on the way homestead, the husband asked his spouse, "What did the well-known practitioner say?" "He suggested you are going to die," she replied. a youthful businessman had in simple terms began his very own enterprise. He rented a appealing workplace and had it provided with antiques. Sitting there, he observed a guy come into the outer workplace. Wishing to look the nice and cozy shot, the businessman picked up the telephone and commenced to pretend he had a great deal working. He threw extensive figures around and made extensive commitments. ultimately he hung up and asked the concentrated visitor, "am i able to enable you to?" the guy suggested, "Yeah, i've got come to activate your telephone lines."

Answer 6

I am astounded that, that is considered a joke and that someone actually laughed at it, refer above! Anyhoo i'll give you a pearler, G rated (a five year old told it to his dad that I work with).
A man was feeling a bit funny, he was feeling like a cowboy so he went to the doctor and the doctor asked him, "How long have you been feeling like this for?" the man answered "About a yeehar!"

Answer 7

Hahaha!

Answer 8

A man in hospital with an oxygen mask over his face says to the nurse
"Are my testicles black"
Nurse: "I'm sorry sir ,i am only here to give you a bed bath"
Man:"Are my testicles black"
Nurse: "I'm sorry sir ,i am only here to give you a bed bath"
Man:"Are my testicles black"
The nurse lifts the blanket and holds his penis in one hand and his testicles with the other hand and says"No sir ,they are fine"
The man takes off the oxygen mask and says "that was very nice,BUT are my Test Results back?

Answer 9

there were 2 boys and one was telling of a fire in his house ,he said the house burned down ,the firemen got us out ,as they were brought out, my mom was lying here father lying there sister lying here an my brother was lying there , the boy said to the one who was telling the story said where were you lying and the boy replied, I was lyin all the time

Answer 10

hahaha i dont think there is a better joke than that