Whats with the naughty step?

Question

I keep reading answers to parental guidance questions particularly those involving pre-schoolers and toddlers where-by the advice seems to be "naughty step" or secluding the child in a corner or similar. This seems really weird and old fashioned to me but because a couple of nannies with tv shows and no kids themselves have said its a good idea everyone is doing or suggesting it. Does everyone really think that singling out and secluding a child when they have played up is a good idea.My 18 month old is at creche while i work in the daytime and i'd be furious if her carers did that and she's no angel just a typical 18 month old toddler. Am i alone in this line of thinking, I really worry about the whole naughty step discipline issue.

just to adendum she is the youngest of 5, all have fared very well before the days of T.V parenting classes. I dont kno about time-out, how do you make an unwilling child go to the step, drag it, threaten it what? just because the idea has been deemed pc doesnt mean the damage isnt in the details. Agressive parenting is crazy, kids act up because something is getting them down prevention and furtive coaxing make for happy kids

Answer 1

NO WAY would I EVER condone such actions with a child. Their tantrums, naughtiness and actions are their learning curve. YES children should be taught right from wrong BUT there should never ever be any form of aggressive punishment in such issues. Naughty step & corner in my book is an absolute NO NO. I thank god your little girl has such a loving, caring and sensible Mum to not be listening to these idiotic TV programmes that are suggesting corporal punishment to BABIES

Answer 2

I'm not sorry to say i agree with the naughty step, in this day when so much power has been taken away from the parents, because every thing that has to do with disipline has been deemed as abusive, what are our options.Children have to learn what is acceptable and what is not.And yes having a tantrum is part of the learning curve, but thay also have to learn that thier actions have consequences.As they would when they are at nursery and school. How will a child learn that is is not right to scream and shout at you if you dont tell them.I have seven children and i have used the naughty step for all. First i remove the child from the room i am in. If they are screaming i wait for them to calm down, then i tell them why they are on the naughty step, and i leave them there till they are ready to say sorry and have a cuddle. First time i did it too my youngest toddler, it took 3/4 hour for her to calm dow, but when she realised that i was not going to pay her any attention or talk too her while she was screaming at me, she said sorry , we cuddled and forgot about it. And too all those poeple out there who are angry with me, let me ask you. Would you allow an adult, teenager to scream and shout at you, kick, bite and nip.I dont think so, you could have them brought up for abusive behavouir, so why are you letting your children do this, and thinking it is normal.

Answer 3

The "naughty step" or "time out" is a loving way to tell your child to sit and think and calm down and gives you a second to calm down as well.

I do think it is over used but very effective if done right.

It is not to seclude your child and if used in that way than it is being done wrong.

My 18 month old would bite the other kids in the home and we would put him in his highchair until he calmed down and we could talk to him. Then we would practice what he could do instead of biting and made him apologize.

There has to be both positive and neg. consequences for your childs actions. If you don't use time out that's fine but you'll have to find something that gets your childs attention when they are misbehaving. And the terrible two's are coming around the corner so I hope you find something quick.

Bree

Answer 4

How would you disipline your child then? I am a nanny and a mother and use this form of disipline for my own child and for the children I look after. You are not secluding the child, you are taking them away from the situation so they can no longer do the naughty thing they were doing. it should be used as a last resort, telling no and distraction are good but how many times can you say no? If you keep saying it all the time, your child will stop litening to you and then what will you do? Ask the nursery your cild is at because it may be considered a good from of disipline there.

Answer 5

It's because people are obsessed with fad parenting techniques and fad psychologist. I'm with you. I don't go by Dr. Sears, Supernanny, or any other person out there for publicity. While I think it's great that people can get some pointers from these people, sometimes, they take it a little to far. I feel it is important to instill discipline into children but by no means going by one book or one technique. I've watched Supernanny. I've learned about Dr. Sears. With that said I've also learned about Sigmund Freud, who set pop trends and fad parenting knowledge throughout his day--and God as my witness I will never take his advice. What these people don't understand is that yes, these shows and psychologists do know what they are talking about but they don't always know. I'm a free thinker I question everything. I don't spank (unless I do as a last resort)--but I also won't do the "naughty step." I take the ideas and make them my own--adjusting them to my needs and my children's needs. I feel bad for some people who go by these standards, apparently, they are out of ideas and nothing has worked.

I also agree with other people. The naughty step is for children who haven't been rasied properly. My cousin (5 years) has had other forms of punishment. I prefer giving him things to do to occupy him and make him think about what he has done to sitting him down some where. Both my children are very well behaved. They don't lash out in public, they don't throw tantrums, they aren't rude, they don't talk back, and they aren't rude. Maybe it's just my style that has made them be the way they are now.

Answer 6

as a childminder i don't have a naughty step because let's face it the child is not always going to show negative behaviour in the same place all the time. eg you could be at the park or toddler group.
but i do after a warning withdraw the child from an activity if he/she is being hurtful or offensive to others to allow them to reflect/calm down and understand that what they have done is not acceptable.
i'm sure that if another child was repeatedly offending/upsetting your child whilst in daycare you would want the child with the negative behaviour to be dealt with . the calmest way to do this is by removal otherwise some children can be quite persistent in being hurtful and your child might continue to suffer and feel uncomfortable.
when children attend daycare they are coming from all different home boundaries/ground rules. one child might be allowed to jump on the sofa at home and another one will say this is naughty as they are not allowed to do this in their home. children soon adjust to what is acceptable behaviour within a group setting.
i'm sure you have no need to worry about naughty step syndrome in your childs nursery.
good child carers will only use withdrawal as a last resort as obviously by removing one child and having to deal with them they are in effect also removing themselves from the group and children can pick up on this as a way of obtaining individual attention irrespective of whether it is positive or negative attention.
which is why it should only be used selectively (as little as possible).

Answer 7

well unless u bring ur child up properly there would be no use the for naughty step, the naughty step is to teach the child that what they have donhe was wrong...and shall stay in the assigned spot for 1 minute of every year old they are...so if my child was 3 she would stay on the naughty step for 3 minutes, i personally think this idea is great, u dont have to use dicipline and will make the child think next time he or she does something wrong

Answer 8

You are just removing them from the situation and stopping the inappropriate behavior. It does not have to be done meanly. Discipline is education. It always should be (not hitting!) Removing them from the situation ends the behavior, usually lets them calm down, and it lets them know that the wrong behavior won't be tolerated. They should only be there for a very short time. It really can work! You then explain (again education) to them why you are puttinig them there & then again when the time is up that the behavior is not allowed. Usually at 18 months you can just re-direct their activity if they are doing something harmful (to themselves or others) at that age.

Answer 9

i've got self assurance that around age 2 is a sturdy time to introduce the naughty step. even nonetheless your baby won't communicate lots, he nonetheless can understand lots extra. And right it rather is a sturdy tip! shop your baby in timeout as many minutes as their age. shop it short and easy! And whilst my toddlers come out of holiday the 1st element I do is kneel to them, supply them a great hug and tell them i admire them. That re-assures them that i'm not mad at them, in simple terms their strikes and that no count what they do i will continually love them.supply the naughty step a attempt. i'm constructive you will see a great progression on your youngster's habit. solid success!

Answer 10

Time out is an excellent tool for preschoolers, toddlers and young children, but not for a child of 18 months. I personally would not use it for a child of less than 2 1/2, and even then did not leave the child alone. The guidelines for a time-out are generally one minute per year of age- and it is an excellent tool for teaching a child to control themselves and their behavior. No one ever suggested you leave the child isolated and alone- you should always remain nearby, in the room. In the beginning the idea is to teach the child to quiet himself/herself, and get themselves calmed and back in control. Even with a 5 year old, that can take a few minutes time, if they are really wound up or angry. Meantime, when quiet returns, it is much easier to talk over and deal with the behavior. It is probably not so much about punishment as it is teaching the beginnings of anger and self management. You also don't do it in full view or hearing of all the other children, for obvious reasons.
I have used time out for all six of my children, and many others I have helped mind. I am not saying it can't be misused, but then I can't think of any discipline method that couldn't be. So far as what the child thinks, no they probably don't care for it. That's the point, partially. Then again- no child I've ever known cared for being corrected. As they learn to control themselves and their behavior, time out becomes less and less an occurence. It serves older children as well. With my young teenagers, there comes a time when the mouth outruns the brain- and we encounter a situation where they and I are getting angry. To prevent things getting out of hand, and to allow me to get things back into perspective, we take a mutual time out of 15 minutes. By then, tempers have usually cooled and I have been able to remember I am the adult in the situation. I've been able to sort out the problem in a calmer state, and deal with it as an adult should. So time out - or the naughty step as you term it- is a valid and reasonable treatment for correcting bad behavior. I assure you, as your child gets older and more able to express herself- the day will come when she does truly misbehave. She will still be much to young for a sensible logical discussion of the cultural ramifications of her unaccepatable behavior, and you will not be able to wait for her to mature to the point it is. You may also discover you are in no particular mood to be logical or reasonable at that moment either. Time out will be a good choice for both of you- a few moments to get everything sorted out will do you both a lot of good. And you won't have done anything in that moment of anger to regret later.