This is really serious. What should I do about my friend?

Question

I have had a very close friend for over 10 years but it's been about a year since I've seen her. When I last saw her, she was about 400 pounds. Well, I just saw her tonight, and she had gained even more. She tells me that I inspire her because I was on meds that caused me to gain alot and through diet and exercise I'm losing it quickly. So I try to help her. I talk to her on the phone every day. She'll do good all day, then at night, she binges. I am seriously worried for her life. We went out tonight and people were staring and nudging each other and I know she sees this and she gets really upset. Is there a way I could go about talking to her? What do you all think. I love her and don't want to see her die. She's such a nice funny person.

She'll literally outright say to me herself that she doesn't eat and she doesn't know why she eats so much. But she's a closet eater. I just don't know how to go about calling her on it. It's just so hard and it hurts me to see her like this.

I meant to say she doesn't know why she "weighs" so much
not why she "eats" so much

Answer 1

An aquatance can tell you what you want to hear,a friend tells you what you need to know.If you care about this person you have to instigate change.This is a serious problem and not only requires diet and exrecise but probebly medical supervision.Get her to a Doctor and soon,best of luck.

Answer 2

This is a tough one! Maybe if you guys live close enough and work/school allows, have her stay a week (more or less) at your house or vise versa and eat healthy the whole time, and you'll be able to see her eating habits first hand. You could join a gym, if she's embarrassed, find one that's open 24 hours and go at 2-3 in the morning when no one would be there. You're obviously a great friend and just being there for her and supporting her helps. Have her call you any time of day when she feels like eating and just talk to her, keep her mind off wanting to eat. Again, this is really hard to deal with, and she can only change if it's something she wants to do. I wish you both the best of luck!

Answer 3

She'll feel better about herself if she loses the weight. I'm not all about magic pills, but perhaps if she took something to help assist her with losing an initial amount of weight so she saw a difference and got confident enough to work at it? I'm by no means that over weight, but I understand the binging thing. I do it, too. I notice how thick I'm getting. I am going to work it off. The bottom line is she needs to ge tconfident, and DO IT. If I have learned one thing from my ex husband it is this: YOU can't change people. You can want to, and try to. But the bottom line is that if they want the change they will take the steps to change themselves. Encourage her. But seriously, she should talk to a doctor and see what he recommends. I think if you take something to help you lose some weight, and just don't stay on it for a prolonged period of time, it can be beneficial. Espceially in her case!I wish you 2 the best of luck!

Answer 4

Tell her that you love and that's she's such a nice funny person, then tell her that if she doesn't lose weight she'll die. If she's a true friend she will take your advice and do something about it. If she's gets angry or upset then I'd say that she's not such a good friend after all and you can let her suit herself

Answer 5

Sorry to just repeat what "Tina m" but She needs to see a professional. She sounds dangerously overweight.
Also a professional will know the best way to talk to her to get a positive reaction from her.
Although you've got the best intentions you might send her the wrong way and make her eat more.
The problem you've now got is how to get her to see a professional.
x

Answer 6

Tell her to see this site with unique info on it. Also tell her what this post says. I now grant you the power to change her life.

Diets do not work. 99% of people gain the weight back. Here is how it works. No one teaches the animal what to eat and what not to eat. He knows instinctively what to eat. Humans also have the same instinct. The way it works is just eat whatever tastes good and that will be healthy for you and non-fattening. That is why a baby tastes everything. So again whatever tastes good, is good for you. This is why you will spit out spoiled milk.

But wait!!! Man has the technology to create rat poison. It tastes like healthy food (good taste) but kills the rat. So man has done that to you. Note- any food unaltered by man (uncooked) that tastes good, is good for you. So if you are stranded in the woods, that is how you know what to eat (cooking changes that). So man has created fake fruit. It tastes like fruit that exists in nature but it is terrrible for health, addictive and fattening called sweets.

So it is natural to like real sweets called fruit, like a baby does, but they have fooled you just like the rat. But they do not want to kill you. They want you to become obese so you will buy lots of their foods. This is called GOOD BUSINESS. Remember the above (not on site) and see site below to re-learn how to eat so you can be thin and fit for life.

http://phifoundation.org

Answer 7

I know people in Weight Watchers that have lost weight the sensible way ... diet and exercise. Perhaps the support of others who have been or currently are in her situation will provide her with the motivation she needs? So many people overeat to fill an emotional void in their lives so I agree with those who are suggesting professional counseling.

Answer 8

An easy way to bring up the topic is to first express how worried you are about your own weight, bring up concern about health issues etc. This will make the subject easier to present to her. Then try to get her to go to the gym with you. If her weight is a serious health issue I suggest gastric bypass surgery. Hope I helped. Ray

Answer 9

I have nothing, you could ask her to workout with you but if shes going to binge eat it wont do any good. Show her how concerned you are by showing her your question here and the responses.I still have nothing.Maybe those people were nudging and staring because your looking good.

Answer 10

Eatting is an addiction to her so it needs to be treated like an addiction. You might need to send her to some sort of clinic that deals with obesity. Either that or gastric bypass surgery.