When I was 15 I was sexually assualted by neighbor, shortly after my life took a turn for the worst, I took dads car for joyride, ran away, and ultimately spent the next 20 years in the "system" serving time, San Quentin being my last stop.I am 44 now and have done well since paroled in 1993. It was about 2 years ago that I blurted out to my wife what had happened to me, I was in shock and still am. I am very angry, angry at my folks, the neighbor, the system. I have always accepted responsibility for my wrong doing but this changes everything to me. I did what I did cause I was a victim not a bad person. I ran away cause I was scared and humiliated. I believe my life would have been different and I would have excelled far beyond where I am now. People that looked down upon me would not harbor the negative thinking if they had know what and why I became the thug I did. Can anybody help me resolve this very complex situation I am dealing with. I can't think straight anymore. Confused!
2006-09-29 21:38:53 · 8 answers · asked by Michael A 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
not everybody allows this kind of impingment to affect them it is still your choice you can speculate out side of your scenario
but still u wil always have to learn to deal with the hands you've been dealt and if u were me I would utilize professional help it works that's why they spend so much on researching these things best of luck peaceout u can do it!
2006-09-29 21:49:13 · answer #1 · answered by dogpatch USA 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey bud, I got raped as a virgin at age 14. Then it's like I hated myself, my body becuase of what he did. I'm 50 now. Been through hell because I never acknowledged the damage until it was too late.. But... F....life goes on anyway....I'm glad I am still alive to make choices now. I've been in jail, will never return, not a good trip.....Been there....I now want to be the best I can and do the best I can to make the rest of my life glorious for all that come to my funeral...I will have the final say in my next years and no one will stop me....You should think about doing the same!!!!!
2006-09-29 21:52:25 · answer #2 · answered by Kitty L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two things about what you wrote tell me you are ready for counseling. One that you blurted it out to your wife, whom you must have gained some trust with in order to even blurt it out. The second is the length of your question. Both of these things tell me your mind wants you to talk about what happened. I know it feels strange, it's confusing, etc but the only way to start healing is to process all of the trauma you've been through (that includes all the acting out after the assault) with a professional. What happened to you and the life you lead afterward are not separate events. They are one in the same, a reaction to a trauma.
2006-09-30 07:03:10 · answer #3 · answered by stargirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many, many children have been sexually abused. Many of them definetly have problems associated with the abuse, criminal acts, anger, relationship problems etc. Obviously you are still playing "victim", I however am a "survivor"!! What other people have DONE to us is no excuse for us to continue with thoughts that it's everyone's fault...if only you knew...that's an excuse for you to stay stuck! Get o'er the resentment 1st which is one of the most difficult...try to understand what happened is not your fault, it was tragic, yet with what has happened you can help others as well as yourself. EVERY negative has positives. Maybe your purpose in life is to learn forgiveness and self love.
2006-09-30 02:34:12 · answer #4 · answered by tamara.knsley@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly some professional counseling should help. they can help you cope, deal and move on in a positive movement in your life. Blaming your life choices on ONE incident over 30 years ago is not constructive to who you are today and does not explain all your behavior and choices in the past.
Being able to come to terms with it is a great step forward. You can only begin to heal.
everyone hears professional counseling and associates it with money and time-
take a moment and ask your self are you ready for Help? are you ready to move on and control your life?
It is worth every penny and worth every minute- you sound like you definitely need someone to help you guide your way through this and start living
2006-09-29 21:51:02 · answer #5 · answered by oregonmadisons 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first...find a counselor to talk to. Next....you may not have caused all of your problems, but you are responsible for solving them anyway. I can think of many people in prison who had terrible experiences in life...and while that explains the "how and why" of it all, it does not excuse the actions they did. Get help...keep talking to your wife....join a support group for assault survivors...and take responsibility for your actions.
2006-09-30 02:07:03 · answer #6 · answered by Andrea G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a similar experience and i can tell you you are only a victim as long as you choose to be. Bad stuff happens to good people all the time the only difference is what we do with it!
2006-10-01 10:37:57 · answer #7 · answered by wecair2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U r one of many. I blame myself but it wasn't my fault but it was and it wasn't. A big ugly vicious circle. It's good that you can talk to your wife. Keep that up, take it to a professional eventually if you build up the courage. Even your parents. Unforeseen occurrences befall us all.
2006-09-29 21:52:12 · answer #8 · answered by TNT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋