My boyfriend and I celebrated our four year anniversary on September 9th. My boyfriend did not get me a present, but he did get me a card. I know he doesn't have very much money, but neither do I and I still managed to scrape up $75 for a present. Do I have the right to be upset about it? I haven't said anything to him because I know it would make me seem incredibly shallow and materialistic, but I can't help but feel badly. In the past, he has always gotten me anniversary, birthday, etc presents. I don't know what is wrong... Any thoughts?
2006-09-29 21:05:05 · 14 answers · asked by Meg 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you dont sound shallow little lady
you sound like you wanted the effort made rather than the gift itself.
sounds like you would have felt more special if he took the time to go and find something for you that meant something to him in order to express to you that you are important to him and that he thinks the last four years are special.
i think even if he went out and spent $20 you would be happier.
i think that yo would have also been fine if he had spent no money but had written you a song or took you to see a show or took you on a special trip to where your first date was......... theres is so much you can do to make someone feel special without spending very much at all.
i would sit him down and very gently and kindly explain this. i would be really clear that it has nothing to do with the money or even a gift......... just that it is important to make each other feel like they are worth going to some effort for.
i wouldnt make a huge fuss......... but i would definitely say something
best of luck
2006-09-29 21:14:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I say you grin and bear it this time and if it happens on your next special occasion, then you can tell him.
But if you have one of those relationships with great communication, then I say you go for it now. Just telling him how this makes you feel does NOT make you shallow, and therefore should NOT make you look shallow. It's especially understandable being that it's the first time that it's happened.
You just explaining to him that it makes you feel uneasy should not be construed as you being materialistic at all. After all, this is entirely more about feelings than the money aspect, am I wrong?
You only want to feel that you are worth him spending time on you.. this is totally natural.
Whatever you do, don't complain. Remember that it is better to give than to receive.
2006-09-30 04:14:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
understand the disappointment..but many times, the thought that goes into a card is so much more than getting a gift.. maybe he's just ur typical practical guy.
What was his reaction after he received your $75 gift? if he didn't say anything, he must have felt bad but din knoe or was embarrased to bring it up. Doesn necessarily mean he doesn care
2006-09-30 04:32:14 · answer #3 · answered by Beth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the key, if I am broke and I know my boyfriend is broke, we make a deal not to buy each other anything.
Instead we might eat out and then go home and have wild sex.
2006-09-30 04:09:53 · answer #4 · answered by betty_htch 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did he take you out for the special occasion? If so, that should have been enough.
You do seem materialistic. If you bought a gift, to get a gift, you should not have bought one.
2006-09-30 04:11:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
As Dr. Laura would say..
Pick your battles
Is this worth a fight? Is he perfect in every other way? Does he just need you to teach him how you expect to be treated?
You may choose to overlook it because maybe he is thoughtful and caring in so many other ways.
or
You may want to confront him and give him the old "i feel" statement..
"when you ____ I feel _____ would you please _____?"
Then it's a done deal and you won't waste anymore
Time
Energy
and Effort
regarding a relatively small situation.
Good luck babe :)
2006-09-30 04:25:19 · answer #6 · answered by Ponderpink 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well if he was really low on money that I can understand just the card! If everything is still good in the relationship that I would try to understand his reasoning, and just not mention it to him!!!
2006-09-30 04:11:52 · answer #7 · answered by Peachy 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Open communication. Ask him if there was a reason he didn't get you a present this year when he has on previous years.
2006-09-30 04:10:06 · answer #8 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think u overspent, but, on the other hand, he was unthoughtful. Solution. Better luck next time. Let it go.
2006-09-30 04:11:03 · answer #9 · answered by Huguenot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
4 years he sure as hell should have gotten you a present
2006-09-30 04:10:42 · answer #10 · answered by j918101080 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋