2006-09-29 20:58:47 · 12 answers · asked by Pistol Pete 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Let me get the ball rolling here......
How do you catch a squirrel?
Act like a nut!
Man, that was good.
2006-09-29 21:12:40 · update #1
Written on the wall in a ladies room:
" My husband follows me everywhere"!
And just below was:
"I do not"!
2006-09-30 12:18:27 · answer #1 · answered by jfmm 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1) why did the blonde stay up all night studying?
she had a urine test in the morning
2) Q) What's dumber than 3 brunettes trying to build a house under water?
A) 3 blondes trying to burn it down
3) A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ''I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?''
''Why sure,'' said the manager, ''we have something that works especially well for that.''
A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ''No, no! A little to the left,'' said the other blonde inside the car.
4) It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in.
And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!"
And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"
5) al opens a resturant and vows that he will name the resaurant after the first thing Al sees when he goes out the door.
Al walks outside and the first thing he saw was a girl named Lucy and he saw her legs.and so the restaurant was named Lucy's Legs.
The next day A man comes a bit early and a policeman walks by and notices Al waiting there. The policeman asks, "What are you doing?"
man says, "I'm waiting for Lucy's legs to open so I can get a drink."
2006-09-30 07:36:09 · answer #2 · answered by mark 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, here goes...
There's a shy guy drinking alone in a pub until he saw a beautiful lady sitting alone and he immediately approach her, asking whether he could buy her a drink.
She responded at the top of her lungs saying, "I will not sleep with you!", embarassing the guy as he walked back to his place, red faced, with everybody's eyes looking at him.
A minute later, the gal walked to his place and apologised, explaining that she's a student studying on people's reactions.
He forgive her by saying at his top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"
hehe....hope it's qualified. :p
2006-09-30 04:30:43 · answer #3 · answered by miracleMB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two men are in a bar and they see this woman, the first guy tries to go talk to her, and she shoots him down.
The second man goes up to her and she shuts him down too. After that a little nerdy guy with glasses goes up to her and they leave.
The two men ask the bartender what he said, Bartender says "nothing, he just licked his eyelid!!"
2006-09-30 04:46:53 · answer #4 · answered by anthony c 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Jack and Jill went up the hill
Each had a buck and a quarter ($1.25)
Jill came down with$2.50
She didn't go there for water
2006-09-30 06:40:00 · answer #5 · answered by al p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
2006-09-30 08:08:39 · answer #6 · answered by Electric 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man: my wife needs a bra but i don't know the size...
Salesgirl: don't worry sir, touch my boobs
and try to estimate
Man: Oh...I forgot!!!
She needs panties too!
2006-09-30 07:47:00 · answer #7 · answered by tess 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whenever I came up against a wall and didn't know the answer - I thought of you....
'Cause you didn't know it either!
2006-09-30 04:10:58 · answer #8 · answered by cooldad 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
2006-09-30 04:07:28 · answer #9 · answered by weasel_sponge 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
ok I can say it in less than 5 words even,
" you are intelligent, LOL"
2006-09-30 04:08:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋