why why why why why why?

Question

I talked to my ex finally and he doesn’t want to get back with me, he told me there wasn’t any chance we’d get back together ever again, and he thought I understood it was just sex and he agrees we shouldn’t have sex anymore. I told him we couldn’t talk anymore either, and I am so sad and devastated. I really don’t know what to with myself right now. I am so hurt by him. I don’t want to say he lead me on but how could he move on so fast? Our relationship ended 2 weeks ago and he already says he’s back to normal and can date other people. To be honest I don’t know why he doesn’t love me and he says he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. I guess it’s hard when im crying over the phone, but still I wish he’d be honest instead of beating around the bush. Why do I love him so much if he doesn’t love me in return? How can I allow myself these feelings when they are not returned? I don’t know what to do to move on and I feel I may never get over him. I might be able to finally function normally, but I’ll never get over him. He says he loved me at one time in our relationship but I think he’s lying. How could he and be fine now? He says his love for me was different. Why does he hurt me so bad? I told him we can’t talk anymore and he said ok that’s fine. He said I’m good in bed and I said maybe we can just be friends and talk occasionally but not sleep with each other, and he said no. Apparently he just wanted sex. He said if he wasn’t benefiting from hearing about me then why would he talk to me? Why is he such an asshole? I am so traumatized and I don’t know when I’ll trust again. We’ve broken up so many times and I’ve fallen into a deep depression many times, but right now I am beside myself with sadness. .I know its for real now and all I can see now is a future without him and it seems so depressing to know I’ll have to move on only because HE didn’t want ME. It wouldn’t be that way if he had just wanted me and not been so difficult. Who does he think he is anyway? He will never find another girl like me, he won’t get a girl as beautiful as me to love him this much. Why do you guys let a good thing go? *tears* * tears* *tears streaming down my cheek*.

Answer 1

Move on. Sounds harsh, but you gotta do, what you gotta do. Life is too short to base everything you have on one relationship. There are plenty of men out there. Like the saying goes, there's plenty of fish in the sea. Love is a hard thing to deal with, because you may feel differently sometimes in a relationship and the man may feel totally differently about things. Sometimes us women can take things too seriously. You'll know when the right one comes along and you'll know when to fall for him hard. I had to weed through relationships to get to the man I have now, and I couldn't be happier. You can't make yourself fall in love, it's not gonna be right around the corner. In most cases you have to wait for it. There's someone out there for everyone. Also, sounds to me, he used you for sex. Here's a tip for you, and I'm not trying to be mean, but don't be so "easy." There's no reason why a relationship should be based on sex. And don't be depressed, because that's not healthy. You have to learn to accept he didn't want to be with you and when you're willing to let go, that's when you can move on. He moved on, as you should to. When you're holding onto something you can't have, that makes you pathetic and desperate. Don't do it, don't humiliate yourself to that. You said you've broken up so many times, well, there's a sign right there for you. You keep going back to something that obviously isn't right for you and isn't healthy. Why do you subject yourself to something like that? You have to just say NO to him. If he calls, to bad, he calls, you tell yourself that you don't give a damn. If he wants you back, to bad, you tell yourself you're over him and had already taken out the garbage. Don't keep going back to someone that is basically using you, and using you for sex. You'll trust again.

Answer 2

Take a deep breath, clear your mind and do the following:

clear out your wardrobe: clothes, shoes, the works

update your address book and your computer files to delete this jerk

look at yourself in the mirror and acknowledge that, like most of us, you have made a mistake in judgment and been taken to the emotional cleaners; it was not your fault but his.

*************he is not worth remembering*****************

then go for a pleasant, long walk.

go for a walk every day and think about something constructive which you decide upon before setting out. under NO circumstances think about him. if he gets into your thoughts, push him out.

you are very hurt right now and it will take time for you to regain your equilibrium. but you should be thankful that he is gone because now he won't be able to inflict further damage on you.

and keep an eye on your depression; go to the doctor for counselling/meds if need be.

there is NOBODY that one cannot do without; we are all expendable. It is a matter of degree, that's all.

the other constructive activity I'd recommend is to write a journal. a pen-ripping-through-paper, pages-ripped-out kind of journal, in which you can vent. If you don't destroy it along the way you'll come upon it one day and have a good laugh about his stupidity.

Answer 3

Heartbreak sucks, we have all been there sometime or another.....He sounds like a real jerk. You are going to have to be strong, and move on just like he has. I hate to say it, but it sounds like he never cared for you in the first place. I am sorry, and I know that at the moment it hurts a lot, but you will get thru it. Time heals your pain eventually and you will be able to move on. Just give it time, it will get better each day. Try going out and finding someone new, that seems to make the sadness go away a lot quicker!!! Good Luck!

Answer 4

whew that was long. ok so here's what i think. he dumped you because he just wants you for the sex part. so it means he already has a new partner for it. face it girl, he's not coming back anymore.

what bothers me is that you already know he is one of the biggest jerks in the world, and you still won't accept that you have to dump him. or better yet drop him from Mount Everest. again, he is a JERK. you don't want to be with a jerk, do you?

don't say that you can't move on. maybe the right words are you don't want to move on. you are a nice girl. and i'm very sure you will still be able to find a much better guy to be with in the furture. but it won't be easy.

it might take years, but i know you CAN & WILL move on.

Answer 5

growing up is hard. Falling in love while you are growing up is really hard. Believe it or not, you will get over it and forget this dude and wonder what you ever saw in him! Rejection is the worst when you first experience it but you will move on after you go through this heartache. Unfortunately you do have to go through it, cry, cry & cry some more. It will seem like forever but it will be over quicker than you know, most probably when you meet another guy. You have to go through a lot of them before you get a keeper.

Answer 6

Hey darling, so sorry to know u are hving such a hard time. Believe me, u got to move on... your world doesn't evolve around him. U hv to be strong and forget abt him. He's a jerk. U really deserve someone better and believe u deserve better. I know u are depressed becoz of him. Look around you and look forward to better things. You are young and there are so many things for u to do. Remember Sex is NOT Love. We are made differently. Men need SEX. Women needs Love to give Sex. You got to protect yourself when u meet new guys. All the best, sweetie.

Answer 7

This is your side of the story now we got to hear his side; see some times you girls think your the victims, but in the most of the cases your not. And I'm sure he can find someone better then you, and if you where that good you would be telling your personal problems on-line, so people could feel sorry for you, but you don't fool me, momma raised no foo. Just keep it real girl.

Answer 8

Wow babe, do you want to know how he can let you go? All I had to do was look at the length of your details and I empathized (and maybe even sympathized) with him. Granted your in a tough place and you need to vent, but guys are EXTREMELY turned off by too much of anything-- especially talking and emotions which seems to be your bag. You need to get a bottle of wine and do this with one of your girlfriends who actually cares and wants to hear this. As far as getting him back, the absolute best thing you can do is ignore him. As hard as it is for you, he knows he's got you and that's a turnoff.

Answer 9

Honey! Don't be sad! There are so many good looking guys out there to limit your self to a guy that obviously never cared about you! PICK THAT DAMN LIP UP OFF THE FLOOR AND YOUR HEAD UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't let that guy get the best of you! Don't even show him you cry over him. There is a reason why he is doing this probably cause he was hurt b4 and don't want to have true feelings for any women and just care's about sex.........................................................
Now smile and get your fishing pole out with some cute clothes and make-up cause look out here she comes. There are so many fishes out in the sea waiting to still be caught. TRUST ME!

Answer 10

Don't listen to Mister! He is full of sh1t! If your ex doesn't want to get back together with you, then it's time to MOVE ON! Find a guy who REALLY loves you for who you are and not JUST because the sex you guys have with each other! Leave that dude alone! And to Mister: GO F#$% YOURSELF!!!!!!!