im a single parent who need advice.
2006-09-29 19:50:28 · 19 answers · asked by gateba 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Call her on it, every time. Use those times to talk to her about how important it is to be truthful, and impress on her how tangled-up and out-of-control things can get when we lie. Her lying gives you a great opportunity to teach her to trust her conscience and live by it.
2006-09-29 20:10:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The child lies because YOU allow it! The first time you did not make it clear that lying would not be accepted. She has no fear of consequence!
Start by having her give away her most precious thing to a stranger child. Warn first that you will do this.
No spending money, no girl things what so ever. Allow no slamming the door! (That means KISS MY A**)
Allow no yelling, pouting, or ugly looks. You might have to get a piece of that behind to let her know that YOU are the parent!
Go up to her school and see both her teachers and the principal
with her in the office. Just a check to see how she is doing!
Monitor her homework, (Review it, redos for all mistakes)
NO TV on School days. MAKE HER take music, Flute/violin/oboe, YOU pick the instrument.
If you disagree with what I have written, wait until she brings a baby at fifteen/sixteen. Its either PAY now or Later!
You are the parent, ACT like it!
2006-09-29 20:03:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i had an ex-best friend who was diagnosed as a pathological liar by her psychiatrist. it all started at a very young age (around late elementary). she's mental and lies about everything like what she eats for breakfast, her age, whether she graduated, if she has a driver's license, her job. i mean it was crazy and the sadest part is that it started off so small and now it's a MAJOR problem. she'll make up the most looney stuff. she's even lied to a doctor that she was a lesbian who got pregnant with a turkey baster. you need to do something about it now before it gets worse. grounding didn't work for her, so i suggest a good spanking for yours.
2006-09-29 20:04:33 · answer #3 · answered by mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lying is a huge no no in our home. I to have a 9 year old daughter. Trust is a major issue. If she violates that trust, she will be given a spanking. Don't treat lying like a slap on the wrist, it's not.
You must head this behavior off now before it's to late, 9 is not even close to being to old for a good old fashioned spanking.
2006-09-29 20:13:26 · answer #4 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down and talk to her about it, but when i say talk i really mean listen. try not to generalize it to her by saying stuff like "why do you always lie" or "why do you sometimes lie to me?"
but rather focus on the immediate situation
something like "you told me ________ but the truth was ________. what caused you to tell me ____________"
make sure you have a clear understanding of the situation by repeating it back to her to double check it.
ask her if she thinks there was a better way to handle the situation(whatever it is) with out lying(ex tell the truth)
then ask her to role play with you the situation or a similiar one with her practicing telling the truth
basicaly my suggestion is to guide through the situation to recap it and help her process what she did wrong and help her learn how to tell the truth, i think it is important to spend more of your time asking questions and making her think than just lecturing, you'll end up saying the same things over and over, and she'll probably stop listening.
make sure to set up consequences ahead of time both positive and negative, for example if she lies maybe she has to go to bed 30 minutes early, but if she has told the truth all day maybe she gets an extra helping of dessert at supper. hope this helps good luck...
2006-09-29 20:12:59 · answer #5 · answered by g_kennedy12 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should do anything TO her, I think you should do something FOR her. Sit her down and ask her why she lies. If this doesn't help her, then get her into counseling. There might be some reason that she is not aware of, but her sub-conscious is. Like maybe she needs a father figure in her life.
2006-09-29 19:58:01 · answer #6 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son (almost 7) went through a phase of lying. What I did was set up controlled environments where I knew the answers. I complimented him highly when he told the truth. I asked him if he was afraid to tell me the truth? He seems to be doing better now. Also, Dr. Larry Kutner has a great article online regarding children lying. Good LUCK!
2006-09-29 19:57:29 · answer #7 · answered by ladyleo817 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My nine year old does that too I just make sure I call her on it and let her know that I will not except her behaving like that I also explain that if she lies now when she is older and wants to do something special I will not feel I can trust her enough to allow her to do it.
Good luck I will have three teenage girls in the house at the same time so I feel your pain I too am aa single mom.
2006-09-29 19:54:18 · answer #8 · answered by Katlynn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is she lying because she thinks that she will get in trouble for telling the truth? Tell her that lying only makes things worse. If she does something wrong and tells you what happened try not to be too hard on her, but if she lies about it ground her. Take away privledges, like TV, computer time (Unless for homework), phone.
2006-09-29 19:53:57 · answer #9 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
(Without her knowing) Let her "discover" a positive outlet for her creativity and improvisation skills. You may place material around her but she must "discover" it. As art is "the imitation of life" so is lying... so be very supportive of OTHER types of Art in her life. Ironically, the most intelligent people usually begin lying at a very early age. She is probably a gifted artist of some type.
2006-09-29 20:16:34 · answer #10 · answered by punk bitch piece of shit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋