Is this normal father-daughter behavior?

Question

I just married a man 15 years older than me and he has a 10 yo old daughter. I have no kids and I'm still very young. I was wondering if it is normal for a father to walk around fully nude around his daughter and also see her naked while she is bathing? To me it seems a little gross, my father would have never done that when I was a kid.

Answer 1

i have two different points to make. first, the fact that your husband married someone 15 years younger than himself is bad enough. but he also walks around his 10 year old daughter NAKED?? he is sick and should be locked up.
second, i also married a man much older than myself. I was 17 and he was 34. the HUGEST mistake of my life. he wasnt right in the head, and neither was i. i thought i couldnt do any better, i was afraid i wouldnt be able to make it on my own. do you truly love this man? do you feel its right when you guys have sex? or does it digust you, and deep down inside you know its wrong? when you guys are together in public, are you embarrassed if people find out you are a couple? thank god i got out of my situation, but it took a couple of years. if you are unhappy please get out of there. do anything you have to do to get out. you can make it on your own, you dont need some old perverted guy to take care of you! from the sound of it he is one sick person who needs to be turned in to child protective services.
if you need anything, message me and i'll help all i can. good luck.

Answer 2

WOW YA ALL .... Definitely err on the side of caution, but don't jump to any conclusions. Have a conversation with the guy and tell him that she is too old. He may honestly not understand that it is not appropriate. His reaction to your suggestion to cover up and be more private will be the most telling and that is when you should make your decision. A talk with the girl privately would be appropriate here too. You can ask questions of her and make it very conversational. Remember, she is going to be starting her period soon and needs to understand some basics. I've read some pretty good posts already but the only other information that you have given is that you are 15 years younger than your husband so these two pieces of information, along with his reaction to speaking to him about covering up should be all the information that you need to either protect that little girl or calm your fears. Good luck and use your best judgment. If you are still concerned after talking with him please do something because that little girl's future may be in your hands right now.

Answer 3

For most people in western culture this would seem odd behavior. Is it illegal, or even dangerous, I couldn't answer that. Seeing her naked, or vice versa, may be seen by some as perfectly natural and even healthy. However, in American culture, it just seems odd. For me, seeing my 10 year old daughter naked would probably be an incidental event and no big deal (a large family and those things happen). However, if he were making a point of seeing her nude, then there is a problem. And for me, he should definitely not be walking around fully nude himself. That's weird and lacks refinement.

Answer 4

No this is not normal. Okay, so he wants to walk around naked in your presence, that's fine, but NOT around his 10 yr. old daughter. Plus for 10 yrs. old, she should be able to bathe by herself, so the fact that he watches her bathe and she's naked to boot, that's disgusting. Well, of course this is gross. No parent should do this. They shouldn't be walking around their children naked PERIOD! I don't care what age him or her is. It may be acceptable to do this around you without his daughter is around, and that's fine, but walking around like the Adam and Eve days around his daughter is gross. If he's a nudist I would still find it unacceptable to walk around his daughter naked. You have to talk to him and see if this is his normal behavior. But I would definitely draw the line when he's watching his 10 yr. old daughter taking a bath. Unless something is physically wrong with her he doesn't need to watch her take a bath, and besides, if there is something physically wrong with her, you can be there with her, at least it would be more appropriate because you both are women. Just keep a close eye and never hesitate to call Child Services.

Answer 5

People have different standards when it comes to nudity; so it may not be exactly correct to just write it off as as creepy and "off" as it seems.

Still, I find it very inappropriate even if there's nothing really sick associated with this particular father and daughter. In fairness to him, fathers tend not to notice when their children grow up. The fact that he hasn't considered giving her privacy now may be nothing more than just his forgetting she's ten and not three.

A kid ten ought to be doing her own bath in private and with the doors closed as far as I'm concerned.

I just think there's something nice about family members' maintaining some personal dignity and privacy; in view of the fact that of all the people on the list of people one shouldn't share too much intimacy with, family members are right there among those at the top part of the list. I know some people want to promote being uninhibited and comfortable with nudity; but the other side of that is some people work hard to try to teach their children not to be too free with their nudity (which generally can also be seen as their sexuality). The other side of nudity is that it is also nakedness, and nakedness can be used to take away some of a person's humanity (as with the pictures we see of bodies in concentration camps during WWII).

Again, people think differently; but I've included some of the points in case you may find them worth using. No matter how free a parent wants to be and wants his child to be usually if the matter came up with a professional there is the good chance the the issue of boundaries between fathers and daughters would also come up.

Answer 6

No, it's not normal...BUT a caveat here...he may not know any better (I hear the gasps from the peanut gallery, but hold on)...he may not realize that his "little girl" is growing up and that walking around nude is just not right...I'd ask him what's up with this were I you...also, I think 10 is a bit old to be bathed unless she has some physical condition that prevents her from bathing herself...if he's walking in on her while she's bathing, then I'd be calling the police...

Answer 7

Well honestly if he is not staring at her in a weird manner like he is lusting over her. I don’t think its that big of a deal. Some families are nudist. This girl is 10 years old, in another year or two she will not be traipsing around the house nude nor want her father to see her nude.

Answer 8

Most deff NOT normal. It is gross and disturbing. No man should see his 10 year old naked much less see him naked. Someone should call social services. If he can watch his little girl in the bath and walk around the house naked then chances are he has done more that just "watch" her in the tub. If that is the case he is a sick sick man.

Answer 9

Although it's strange to you, it may not be to either of them. Are they nudists? (Seriously.) When I was growing up, both my parents were at least half naked all the time, and I turned out okay-however, there was never any touching/wrestling going on while naked (unless I was a very small baby) so I'd "watch" for such tendencies. Overtly sexual looks or comments are inappropriate at any age. Perhaps counselling is an option for you and your husband? You're obviously uncomfortable with it.

Answer 10

nudists walk around nude at home all the time. Go to nude beaches and you see families all the time. Only a pervert thinks nudity is sex. It would be up to the family if they want to bring there children up as nudists not anybody else or the Government.